OMNICELL's Blog

by **OMNICELL** on Thu Jan 16, 2025 6:26 pm

NOTE

Right Or Wrong is a good things for the heart and for survival; … Principles in the universe are Based on Universal principles…
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But Life is based not on Right Or Wrong; Its based on Belief. Belief is based on Magic; And Magic comes from God Universe Jesus Holy spiritus and Santa claus…. And Gods Blue Angels… His Army; My Army… The Galaxy Justice league
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God; Universe; Sunny Jesus, Holy spiritus, Santa Claus…
They are all living stars; They all know each other and they are part of a collective group; They speak and talk and hear and sense and see and they transmit information at frequency; That means they are alive. They talk to me…
They are a group of stars that run the Universe… It is them that I pray to; for they are God, Jesus, Holy spiritus…. And Santa Claus…..
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Life is based on what I believe.
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I have to believe….
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And as a Brilliant young man told me today; I must have Faith in what I believe; or, why would I be believing it… Whats the point.
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And what this young man said to me; slammed it home. I simply do not have that; that ability to have faith in anything….. I am learning because the outside world is telling me…. And so I have allot of work to do.
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I love Pleasure more then I like work. And so I lost everything. I lost all standards… And I sunk into a hole at which I could not get out; not without being broken and ask for help.
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The fact that I stopped believing in anything including anything inside of me; I stopped. This was wrong.
I was wrong; I made a mistake.
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Life is not based on Right and Wrong… However; the smart man believes in Right and Wrong and staying in ones own lane. Life is based on what I believe will happen to me…
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If I believe in having a car; I will see it
If I believe in having a wife; I will see them; they will appear
If I believe in having alots n lots of money; This will happen for me; It will appear…
If I believe in a house; it will appear
If I believe in talents; they will materialize
if I believe in Hobbies; they will materialize…
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If I believe in performing as a musician and learning all the music first before the performance; it will materialize…
if I believe in having friends; they will materialize…
And so on…
I stopped believing. Now; Im asking God for help on how to believe again in what I want; and there are plenty of books and information.
I like to use The book; Think and grow Rich; Napoleon Hill. And laws of attraction coaches… Thats what Ive been pulled to.
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IF I want education; It can happen if I believe; I must believe first and then I will see it…
If I wan occupation; I must believe first and then I will see it.
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I must ask for faith concerning what I want; Sure; its embarrassing that I want something but have no faith for it; fair enough; I ask God for help; and I ask God for support.
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If I want more money; I work with God and do with work under God; under Higher power; For the higher power God is the power… that is where power comes from; And God comes from the Universe; that is where the power is… And tapping into that power and its brought back to me… For the deeper universe is where I get my power and my life is ran from.
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I have to believe first; and then I will see it.
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And in this area of Faith and Belief; This is where my work is.
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For; I block these ideas in my mind before I can get started; Thus; their was no outside source blocking me. I blocked me and I cut down my own possibilities; I cut down those plants in that energy garden; plants with such names as; Future wife; Future money; future car; future house; future family.
I cut everything down. I destroyed the whole garden so I didn’t have to look at it; but without knowing; I caused a grave mistake. For I had cut down my self; and my only hope.
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Thankfully I kept The universe Galaxy justice league with Sunny Jesus; G...

[ Continued ]

by **OMNICELL** on Tue Jan 14, 2025 12:06 pm

Goals;
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Drumming
Money
Car
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These are areas that either need improvement or need to start…
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DRUMMING; I don’t know; This is about getting under it; under God and below God and in front of God and praying for it; flat on my face; hands out in front of me; helpless before God…. And showing Im willing to work with God on anything… Its up to God; I have to try. Im not sure what it is about drumming. So; Ill get below it; and talk to God… to make it part of my life or not… The challenge is places to play… I have to talk to God about it….
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Car; same thing…
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Social
Performing music…
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cleaning things up….
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Its all about getting down on my knees to God and completing through these things with Gods help… Facing some things I cant face or have not been able to face.
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I put many things before God that I made into God… Gods. Now; I know better…. No more of this; I talk to God about these things and work through them so I have no doubts… Or until I have no doubts…
Things get worked out…
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All of these things before God; where Im pleading before God helpless… and asking for help and giving myself over to God and letting God decide…
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And I take the girl who lived up the street when I was young; Working with God to a final conclusion on what happened their. God knows what it is; I have done enough work; I did finally come to an end of working on it in general because I was able to move on just enough; I got the message; its not a good message regardless of the direction. But I have to humble myself to continue to walk on and walk away and move forward. In many cases; I feel like I got seduced by a Witch! And I think that is what happened here. Ill continue to talk to God about it; probably learning from this one experience to the end of my days; and thats no problem for it will be history; and history lessons I can learn from. When Im with my new wife; it will have been worked through… God will help me….
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A WIFE>
This scares me; because Ill have to completely work through the past. Ill have to work through FIRST LOVE when I was a teenager and many other things; so Im present and able to handle things. However; I must remember; under God; God will bring me the right people. God will choose.. Amen…
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I wont be choosing; God will. Thus; I must get under God and in front of God and reach my arms out toward Gods in helpless on my face and on my knees and cry out to God to save me and help me. Help me God… Reach out to God helpless and in trouble; and for help…
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So; I do have an edge or advantage; I can do this; Get on my knees before God and see these things all the way through… all the way to the other side.
Much like a boat that leaves a country; makes it all the way across the ocean; and waiting and waiting; and finally indicates that land is near… And getting off the boat; and stepping onto the land…
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And being on the land getting on my knees and worshiping God and praying to God for help… and Thanking God for I had made it through the storm of travel all the way to the other side.
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I have the ability to see these things through; And that is the big test here…..
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This is a test about putting out a subject and showing God I trust God enough and my self enough and Im smart enough to work it through with God to the other side. And so; that is my work now. Amen. And I have to trust God to see it through to the other side and accept the other side; when I come back out into reality… and wake up… wake up from the dream…

by **OMNICELL** on Tue Jan 14, 2025 10:34 am

So; Im getting the answers from God concerning several areas….
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Im now on 2 areas; And the first one is: Women and dating… Im now at that place…
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What needs to be done; I have to get under God; get in front of God… and bow down below God consistently and see who shows up…
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I don’t want what happened in the past. I have to work with God to stay away from the past; I have to work with God with God and have security to come back to… Not be alone in the jungle….
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I have to stay out of it. I have to bow down to God the whole time… and stay with God… And their it is.. I cant be persuaded… Stay with God.. and tell God what I want… Im scared and don’t want to get hurt. Its about trusting God in this area; And thats where the problem is; and I have to work on that…
I can feel what I have to do… I have to learn to do what God tells me to do… God will bring the right women. God will bring the right people.
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My arrogance; haughtiness is whats causing the problem.. I want what I want; but I don’t wont what God wants for me… Im fighting against God…. And Ill learn to settle down and work with God. Ive done so already and magnificent results…
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I get it.. At-least to some degree… This time I stay with God; and don’t leave; I just wait by Gods shrine; That thing that represents God… That I pray to… I just wait and feel and wait and see… First I have to bow down to God and stay bowed down through the whole affair; this whole journey dealing with God… I have to bow down to God and do exactly what God says…. And that is my work. And afterword I will get the reward I seek.
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If I pray enough; the answers will come… For what ever it is I want…
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I may have to bow down allot; all the time for what I want and come back to reality.
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And reality might be possible if Im bowing down to God first…
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So; Ill have to bow down.
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In the past; I tried things without God; and that was insanity. In these moments dealing with things like long term personal relationships; I need to be under Gods care the most….
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Its all under God….
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Car;
Same thing…
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What am I willing to do. I have to bow down to God… and stay bowed down to God and do exactly what God tells me to do… and nothing else… Learn to work with God on these things…
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MONEY;
Same thing. Just bow down to God and do exactly what God tells me. I get it; I have to be willing to build this relationship with God.
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However; It is with “relationship” now that I am dealing with… And that means bowing down to God completely… and hugging Gods shrine that I pray to and stay up next to that shrine; next to God and not leaving ever; Just stay there and worship God… don’t move… don’t leave; Dont move! Bow down.. don’t go anywhere. Just stay there… Stay there through the whole thing…
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I Claimed that Ive worked with God before on relationships; But I have not.. And when I start working with God on relationships; I have to stay 100% with God; 100% bow down to God and don’t move.
And don’t move the whole way; the whole time… don’t move; stay bowed down.
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The problem is PRIDE and EGO….
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I have to bow down to God to start with. That has to be practiced first; and I tell God what I want and stay with God.. and stay with God and stay with God and stay with God and stay with God and finally who ever God brings me; but I stay tight to the Shrine of God and not move and never leave; I just stay their… And bow down; and get on with the rest of my life next to Gods shrine… with Gods shrine; Bowing down to God the whole time; and waiting under God… Staying with God. But I have to bow down to God completely and only do what God says…
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Ill have to prepare to do this; and start with it; a kind of ritual; start the process with God; for Dating and women. And start it under God..
The first section; most Important aspects is God; Bowing down to God; wo...

[ Continued ]

by **OMNICELL** on Fri Jan 10, 2025 11:59 pm

Work Ethic…. THE WORK GRID: THE NEW RECOVERY DIRECTION
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NOTE; IT doesn’t matter what type of production Im interested in or relationship or general goals; Today; I can accomplish any of it with God and I in Gods soveregn state and with a developed mature WORK ETHIC…. The work Ethic is what saves me here; It allows me to do anything; take on any project and work at it until Im ready for completion. I have mass control over anything I set my mind to…
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I just really opened up to me maybe a week ago… and I finally started showing real world action toward it a few days ago…
Can I do much yet; No; Maybe a few minutes at a time; maybe 20 minutes at a time. Am I doing much during a full day. Well. Ive started with a complex hard video game. And Ive been hitting that thing all day long.
Anything else; Yes; I tried my hand at a new approach with Art software; lasted a few times; learned what I wanted to learn and then pulled away… Maybe Ill do this once more today.
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Music; attempted some things; One or 2 times; and thats it for now. But its all good and it will grow; the hours I sit and practice things… For my recovery now is within those hours I practice a thing; that is the main focus point now; That Work Grid; Those hours of exploration in the work I liked to do; mY recovery is about building and strengthening and smoothing out those hours of personal exploration.
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ART WORK;
I just created a tracing paper ability outline in my paint program for a photo file Im working on… I was able to successfully draw on it and save the tracing paper version of the file without it contaminating the original photo image. I saved it; I re opened it; and I was back to finishing the tracing project of this photo file; or working on it; hardly started it actually; but enough to know I just had success with this Paint computer program; And thats all I was looking for; the ability to stick it out and keep working with it until I gained the skill of using it for my art project; And I did.
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SUCCESS!
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This; I call; The Work Grid; The new focus of my recovery energy.
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The work Grid in a General term describing my new recovery area or process; its the next level of for my recovery. Everything is now focused on work ethic; meaning; The time or hours put into a project; with the idea; the project desire will be finished. The work hours are the focus of my recovery; How well I handle them; that is the focus of my recovery.
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1. Its not personal; regardless of how long it takes to set up software first. If this process is frustrating; no problems; Ill be back to figure it work with it; get help with setting it up until its set up correctly; matters not how long this will take. Matters not; how many times I go back to the computer to learn a little more; gain a little more experience everyday; Maybe I hit on it 10 times in a day; maybe; I mean; thats the whole point now; the work hours and How I handle what I must do in them. If I have to re sit and attempt these file clerical skills in order to learn the software capability; so be it; if it takes 500 times and three weeks to accomplish; no problems; If it takes 3 months to work it out into a working model; no issues; Ill just sit down 1000 times over n over n over; and do it; Ill put aside work time to work on and explore how this is done. I will seek videos and reports and forums of the software… I will call technical support… I will look at professionals channels who use this software… I will do what it takes to research and study this software and its capabilities; slowly learning and adding on; one bit at a time of practical information until I get it right. Im exploring to learn how to gt it solid; So everything is great!. I do not leave the project. I never intended to at this point regardless of what is thrown at me...

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by **OMNICELL** on Fri Jan 10, 2025 8:54 am

The next blog;
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I am slowly moving up out of the insanity Ive been in from the past…
Im slowly moving back out into a regular life where I get my needs met from the outside world; meaning regular life… Not 12 step groups.
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I feel at times im in the 9th grad when Im in meetings because it literally feels like Im in rooms intended for the purpose of sitting and sharing… Not much else goes on…
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Its like being in junior high kind of. Nothing wrong with that; but I want to go outward into the real world and meet people God wants me to meet…
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I want out!
Im ready to go back out into the real world
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Out in the world is where my goals are. Ill take God with me…
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I still have to develop… and grow more; not their yet… Ill get their…
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The goal is to see myself outside with normal people interacting. Im getting stronger; but not there yet…
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I can feel it tho…
Im thinking about women and interacting with them…
Im thinking about art and music creation.
Meeting new people…
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Ill work with God on all of this.
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IS a car possible; Ill talk to God about it; amen.
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Im not sure im saying what Im suppose to say.
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its like right now its a kind of an exit interview… but it may be a year long and I go somewhere else.
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More n more Ive gotten what Im suppose to get from these groups and Im ready to move on. Not yet; but Im getting their… amen.
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I can feel it as Im growing…
At some point Ill ask God for a new life where I do more on my own in new places;
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Im working through what I need to work through; its happening in the 12 step groups; and when Im better or stronger Ill try something new somewhere else; Ill keep working on it. Amen. Under God… talk to God amen… not their yet…
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Still dissociative and mental...
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Ill have to work with God on the next level of what Im suppose to be doing or be a part of; Not their yet; but I think my original interests when I was younger; that Im starting to show up or want to show up; amen.
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Im not completely well; Im dissociative…
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Im not well. I am getting stronger I guess; more independent… in life interest… I just have to keep going; keep working at things; and come back… I have to work with others; interact with others; amen.
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Ill have to keep working on what the problem is; the damage. Dissociative damage… So; Ill keep working on it….
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Dating;
Theirs never been any dating…
Nothing ever… No one…
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Nothing…
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Ill try to get honest about it…
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I really need to get honest about it… and keep getting honest about it; and just be myself…
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I don’t see anyone I like or trust… Nothing
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I don’t see anyone that sees me. Meaning; I don’t mean anything to anyone… So… I see know one that sees my worth or cares… So; Ill talk to God…
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I don’t know anyone that takes me seriously for my value; nothing; zero; its like I mean nothing to everyone.
All I can do is turn to God and learn to trust God on this; I don’t have any other choice.
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I don’t have anything; nothing material; nothing…
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I guess I really need to write on this subject. Ive been in a state of suspended animation considering all of this.
Ive been teased conned lied to and played; and faked out when young by girls with false crushes by girls who were just playing me…. Coning me.. But I went to them; that was the payment or the judgment on their part for ever showing up around them. I guess I never learned… No one wanted me…
Ill have to turn and talk to God…
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Ill have to write on all of this…
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I don’t know…
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I never had anyone interested in me; nothing.
And Ill have to look at this and really get into it and feel it; and go to the next level…
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Something is missing. Right from the beginning of my life. Ill have to work on this to become independent…
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Talk to God about this….
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Make a list of what Ill talk to God about completely.
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Make a list of what Ill talk to God about completely
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This is where I have to go...

[ Continued ]

Life is based on what I believe

These are areas that either need improvement or need to start…

The beginning of relationship stuff and concepts; God

THE WORK GRID: THE NEW RECOVERY DIRECTION .

I am slowly moving up out of the insanity Ive been in from the p

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