June 2025
May 2025
What am I looking for…
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When looking online; on Guitar channels; Guys with guitars talking about guitars or showing off new brands of guitars; reviews and such or guitar related thoughts and ideas and ideals; A guitar channel; moderately successful people; I mean; they've created successful YouTube channels right!
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What do they all have in common. Seems like every guy has a ring on his finger; Not one guy did I never see that was single; They all had a marriage ring on.
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They all had direction and a career of interest; ALL OF THEM. Or enough of them for me to blur the lines and say “ All OF Them”; And; thats what I want for me! I want the same. Why? I want my life back.
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Thus; Ive asked God as I work through the past; to help develop me back to reality; to be trained and transformed into a new level person of ability goals and relationship success; where I have a new life; a new wife and a new direction and maturity. I want the same attributes as the other guys I saw that were married on you-tube channels. I can kind of pic up on their social success and interspersion in and within n out of society, I want the same. I can see their influence and power in society; A kind of team work with others and with wives to survive and make it out in social society life; I can feel success ooz. And thats what I want back. Ill have to be matured and trained… Brought up to speed by Gods training methods.
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So; to gain that frequency; Ill have to work with God and go through my development and advancement.
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When will these experiences through pathways start; Well; They've already started. I had to be completely changed and pulled out of the past; purposely working with God to be willing to accept the truth of the past and let the past go; through techniques and help from the universe…
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Ive done this; Ive gone past the past; I started walking alone again as self after giving up the past. I walked right into the first ramp of the God Pathway Machine into a sub ramp development of “ Self Esteem pathway”. This is all part of the greater development through God of new generated Adolescence period development pathway; something I never got to really partake in to any successful extent; Instead it was a defeated brutal survival; to be a part of when young… God is training me himself; He is my teacher; trainer, helper, guide, counselor. Im slowly being trained on these ramps; slowly learning and being strengthened and matured; its just started… Ive gone from letting go of the past enough; proven I can now bi pass the past to build things with God in the present… That's where it starts…
Im a trainee under God. Im new to this.
The training for this new life; And its already started building in the present; The goal is; building into a mature person; responsible person aligned with society so I can have some basic society things; like car; house; wife, family,. Career,. Vacations and so forth…
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The 2 areas to tackle;
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1. Activities
2. Relationships… / Wife!
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The goal with goals of “ Activities/Relationships”; The goals are worked through the recovery process. The goal within the recovery process; the goal was never to become a superstar at these goals, through the recovery process to bring about mastery of these subjects in the recovery process. Does tht make sense. What this means? I just wanted to get started; I wanted to depend on the recovery process to get me started; and then Id break away and learn how to do things standing on my own feet; learn how to handle the process of going after my own goals under my own skill and maneuverability. I had no problem being a beginner at life… and learning how to admit it.
Instead; The goal was to gain enough therapy to work through the past; move on from it and start over under my own 2 feet with sanity and responsibility and learning how to depend on God to keep it all growing so I could grow up at the some point into having a Wife/house/family/career and so forth… That was a loooong sentence…
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Well; Im pushing right now; Im working with God on the beginning of all of this… I have an Adolescence pathway to work through; this will be hard; very hard; lots of dissociation and dysfunction in all of this. Ill be working with God on these things. This will take awhile. However; Im going in the right direction…
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So; Im letting go of the past moving into the present; once in the present; Im being retrained in the present; with a new later childhood; adolescent period; new teen period; and young adult period. All of these areas will be redone then filled in smoothed out; and I can go from their into an authentic beginning adulthood; a real one; one that has production and value to it; Something I actually gain substance from.
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