Our partner

Blog Stats
11990Total Entries
4268Total Comments
Search Blogs

  • Category
    Blogs
Random Blog Entry
Fear problems with women by OMNICELL on Tue Jan 26, 2021 4:41 pm
Standing in front of a women I find really attractive; scares me; she has power that I have no control of. She can go in any direction; she doesn't need me for anything; she might want me but only for a short while and then leave. I do not want to associate with people like that. I want to associated with a women that is beautiful but also nice.
.
Heres the problem as I see it so far. I cant stand in front of women and be myself; to intimidating; why? It all goes back to my mother; I can start with that... Any and all experiences dealing with my mother of any sort have created who I am as for as standing in front of women and feeling good enough.
.
This is interesting news because Ive not brought up the women standing in front of me; Ive given short description assessment... inventory. But nothing more...
.
The point is; I cant stand in front of a women. I cant; shame dis honesty guilt, bad feelings about myself; all of these above; not feeling worthy; you name it.
.
You name its; ive got a problem with it standing in front of women. A part of me; parts of me want to blame the women in front of me; and thats where I have another problem; Its dissociation; Im diverting away from the problem into blaming the women in front of me; I have to learn how to get a hold of that flashback and do something with it so im not diverting anymore.
.
I want to stand in front of a women and talk and be myself and feel good about myself regardless.
.
So; I have to do the work of the dysfunction of what happened with my mother while standing in front of her and what to do about it. So; thats where it starts; and as I write this Im seeing the core of problems within me and a thousand flashbacks so I have my work cut out for me but at least Im hitting on the problem and its not about the women in front of me.
.
What if the women in front of me is not into me. I have to learn how to back away if shes not interested and not take it seriously. That will take practice.
.
ALl of this stuff will take practice if Im to become the new me or forms of the original me when young. But to over come this; is a major obstacle to face.
.
.
For another post but;
Women have been interested in me but I have to give those women a break; they had no idea who I was or the real kinds of problems Ive had; ultimately I walked away from them and never told them who I was; but I did this because they were not qualified to help me... They were the wrong people.
.
Today Im trying to work with God to let go and let God and live my life and allow who ever is suppose to show up in front of me show up in front of me. I have allot of work working through dissociative disorder and the buying and horror that I experienced; not easy; and ending up on the other side of things; the better side where Im living my life again not worrying about the outcome.
.
As for women; Stop looking for them; but I was never really looking for them I was looking for the soulmate I had already prayed about; the problem is; for some reason; I was or have not been telling God I want someone faithful that would want to work with my dissociative condition and the inability to being touched. Id have to have a decent human being for that... And so that is hard to find.
So; Im not suppose to find; but Ive made a mistake and attracted the wrong kind of person... Im looking for someone or working with God for someone decent who wants to be with me and help me... Kind person; not cold and mean.... or insensitive. Im sorry I ever attracted those other people; I mean; I feel a bit innocently deceptive; but I wasn't. I was mistakenly attracting the wrong people; and now I want to correct that and bring the right ones in..... God will help me with that; but I have to become the right person first and so I must get through this dissociative disorder stuff enough to come back and feel safe and free again in the real world or in my world....

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 5168 times
Feed Recent Blog Entries
Signs by OMNICELL on Mon Feb 03, 2025 6:43 am
Where am I at now Feb 1/ 2025
.
.
.
CONCERNING RELATIONSHIP AND WOMEN;
.
Ive now seen 2 women in front of me that I have somewhat interacted with that fit the bill; they fit the calling of what I was...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 550 times
Where am I at now by OMNICELL on Fri Jan 31, 2025 7:14 am
Where am I at now;
.
Relationships are what Im working with with God.
.
Im seeing the first glimpse of personality of the kind of women I want to meet. Im understanding how unusual it must be for...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 3957 times
Relationships… by OMNICELL on Thu Jan 30, 2025 10:44 am
Next move up…
.
Relationships…
.
This is the next thing to work with God on….
.
This is where Im at….
.
I have to really back track…
.
Ive not been around people that treat me with any respe...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 3952 times
At this point; Happiness is my priority by OMNICELL on Thu Jan 30, 2025 1:12 am
At this point;
Happiness is my priority by getting beneath my higher power in front of my higher power; because I am not God; God is God and I worship God and I do what God tells me. I get in instructions...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 703 times
The beginning of Relationship Journey by OMNICELL on Mon Jan 27, 2025 5:51 pm
Blog;
.
Ive talked allot about occupational ideas concerning things in the focus of Art/Writing/Music Creation.
.
Ive talked about the years of being locked out of everything concerning occupation;...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 1182 times
Feed Recent Comments
Re: Next blog…. In the realm of things...; The Change.. by Snaga on Wed Jan 01, 2025 11:06 pm
Happy New Year, Omnicell! Another year of making progress!

Re: test by Snaga on Sun Oct 13, 2024 1:34 am
The blogs are a little different from the open forum- here, moderator preview is a constant, unlike the open forum. It's the same case with the official journals forum. I see you're a DID forum user,...

[ Continued ]

Re: Made a decision by NewSunRising on Wed Jun 14, 2023 12:14 pm
but not alone ... We are here for you if ever you need us . Hugs & love .

Re: Being gracious by quietgirl2538 on Mon Jun 05, 2023 4:45 am
I agree

Re: Been a while by quietgirl2538 on Mon Jun 05, 2023 4:45 am
Aww...Thanks snaga

Who is online

Registered users: AllenISOMO, Baidu [Spider], Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Madison606