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Kind of an update by xod_s on Sat Jan 17, 2015 9:56 pm
While I'm not 'too' moody, I can say that I haven't screwed over only ~3 weeks back at school.

:| Another "if I could redo things again" thing I'd do: start a program in *January* instead of September. I notice now how (even though difficulty levels vary on a case by case basis) when classes are compacted to pass by quicker than in high school,with ending in late April,the difference btw things being cut short are felt. I miss how in high school "things go downhill by May and June, *when the weather actually is warm* whereas having things end in late April kinda stinks,b/c that just when things are *warming up*.

I don't care about what could be said about going to school full time from May-September,my mind frankly operates much more smoothly during that time and the sound of having September-December off,the time of the year when the cold starts and the irksomeness of shorter daylight hours kick off sounds good to me and I can fantasize as the closest thing to a "human winter hiberation" period in that things less imeediately important like school can be done.

:| Flllip. How I wish I could step into a room, where 1 minute here=7 hours in there and where I wouldn't have to eat or drink. That's the way I fantisize getting thru this homework :| . Not difficult at all but there such a bunch of it, that it takes me a while just to take a count and organize what to do, another while to pick which ones to do first,by then I'd probably lost my initative (~2.5 hrs). And this is stuff I prefer doing outside of home but to tell the truth it's increasingly starting to bother me how my mom insists on me coming home early "-_- .

Two reasons for that I think.
(i) [why'd I just something that angers me -_- --a summary of an "american horror story" episode?]
Throughout my life my mom has insisted I eat a much as I like and I did this even when I was little,pudgy and was klutzy with movements,regardless of my limping--cue -_- years of self-image issues which culminated in the self-destructive,self-emaciating running obsession of August 2007 among other things...since then imo my mom has had something of a mistrust whenever I don't eat or exercise and don't eat sometime soon or before that or "exercise to long" (which I feel impulsed to do since I'm friggin so clumsy =_= ).

(ii) she doesn't like me staying here well after it starts getting dark (and cold--it's January,daylight will extend but not soon enough to plz everyone I guess) and it's kinda of a butt-pain having to wait for a bus to pass by around past 7 here and even then there's usually two other drop-off points where I step off,both still not really near to my house taking me another 15-20 minutes to get there walking,if I don't find myself with the circumstantial fortune for there to be the #2 bus soon after there,which'll take me closer to the street where I live and I walk down from one end of the street to the other for another dreary ~3 minutes. By which time my mom insists and wonders about how much I ate

< -_- I think to myself a Chris Rock quip "..like a real estate agent..location,location,location",here with the location of the college 'proving' the importance of that and I think about the math teacher I had which left me with I admit something of hostile mistrust of real estate agents ever since,with the hope that there's not much sleaze in the business...cars salesman get stereotyped that way at times and I hate stereotypical attributes to spread and not get debunked>

Good thing I got thru 2 online quizzes quite well,but with a weekend routine of

i.wake up at 9-11,"struggle" to get up for 1/2 an...

[ Continued ]

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Armed camps by Aggie78 on Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:13 am
The last week has been awful. First, there was a brief reconciliation where we just set aside the conflict, sat and watched tv, did a few things outside, shopped, ate meals together, etc. then, it all...

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Chandler os. by highdimensionman on Sun Jun 20, 2021 4:37 pm
The GUI could be really simple with an inner bar that is accessable with a wide arrow above the bar which you switch to change the mode of the bar.
System and tools
Active apps
Apps menu and search with...

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new things; new start; lets start from the beginning by OMNICELL on Sat Jun 19, 2021 9:59 pm
Lets start from the beginning;
Many things happening.
Several years back I started going into monk mode...
I gave up my interest in everything; I had no more interest in women. I did not want...

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My ocd I think by Kaleb28 on Sat Jun 19, 2021 8:31 pm
It all just really sucks for the past month and a half I've just felt mentally exhausted I wish things could go back to normal or that I could just be at peace with myself I just want all this to end ,would...

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The Birth of the Phoenix by KitMcDaydream on Sat Jun 19, 2021 2:03 pm
The rejected child sits in the bottom of a huge crater, knees huddled close to the body looking up to the light.

There's a forest in the bottom. In the forest live small little white things. The rejected...

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Re: Armed camps by Snaga on Thu Jun 24, 2021 3:19 pm
I worry about violent behaviour, but you know him best.

I think I mentioned my dad who is 80ish, is sort of delusional. I'm beginning to think it's Alzheimer's but I don't really know, no one does. ...

[ Continued ]

Re: Not feeling quite as strong by quietgirl2538 on Fri Jun 11, 2021 1:28 pm
Thank you to all of you and your beautiful kindness! <3

Re: Not feeling quite as strong by NewSunRising on Tue Jun 08, 2021 12:59 am
More hugs , cos' you can never have too many !

Those are very wise words from Wally . Sending you love and strength !

Re: Not feeling quite as strong by Wally58 on Mon Jun 07, 2021 10:35 pm
Hugs as well. I wish you wouldn't feel dejection over this, although it is a loss.
You may need more than he may be comfortable with giving. This is nobody's fault.
Deep breath and focus on what is in...

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Re: Not feeling quite as strong by Snaga on Mon Jun 07, 2021 5:26 pm

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