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No Home by BioHazard on Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:15 am
It hit me at work hard on Sunday that I have no home. Well, almost. Growing up my dad was in the navy and even though we visited the DFW area frequently between moves, and I live there now, it doesn't quite feel like home. Everywhere I'm reminded of the fallout between my family and I. When I'm in some parts of town I worry I will run into them, and then what? Nearly everyday I see reminders that they don't want me all because I didn't let them run my life. The only other place that comes close is Hampton Roads, we lived there three times. It's beautiful, you can smell the ocean, and they have seasons! It feels empty though, I know it's only a matter of time before my dad moves back here with the rest of the family and the people I know there are gone, and besides it's been nearly ten years since I've seen them. Like I said, I don't have my family, I've always considered them my home and where I come from because of the geographic instability, but they're gone too.
My fiance carries a heavy load because he carries me. Both of us have a hard time making friends. All we have is each other. He is calm and collected. I'm extraordinarily depressed and neurotic. He's my home now, but that is so fragile. He says he would never leave me, but I worry he will get burned out by my emotional issues. And besides, life itself is so fragile. It doesn't take much for a person to have their life ended- car accident, being at the wrong place at the wrong time, etc. I live in constant fear that for one reason or another he will be gone too. I'm so ashamed at how out of control my emotions are, I even tried to convince him to leave me because I feel he can do better. He kissed my forehead and said that all he wants is me, there isn't anyone else. He's the reason I'm trying to get better, so he can have a better life. Sometimes he is even able to convince me that I deserve it too. I just want the constant emotional roller coaster and the pain to stop. Maybe then I can start to heal and get truly better. One time he told me this, and it makes me feel like I'll never be alone in this world.
"I want you to fly that much higher because you will have the confidence that if you fall, I will be right here to catch you."

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28 Days by thegentlepath on Wed Mar 20, 2019 4:08 pm
Until psychodiagnostic appointment. Keeping a journal is a helpful tool in recreating a timeline. A lot of things are going completely sideways right now, but it’s alright. I’ve made it this far.

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im addicted to sex and needing to be dominated by jasminN on Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:17 am
hiya all
so im a 34 yr old woman from united kingdom... I am married with children been 14yrs now..and im madly crazy addicted to having sex, watching sex being performed (rough sadistic sex, dominate...

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32 Days by thegentlepath on Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:26 pm
Until the PSYCHODIAGNOSTIC appointment. Researching what will happen. Gathering my information. Preparation.

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Politics; I want to be on the side of the people by OMNICELL on Fri Mar 15, 2019 6:29 pm
My country right now has fallen into factions; fractured groups representing separate political parties. My problem? I don't fit into any political agenda. I'm a White male, being attacked from all...

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Old Writings by Zor on Fri Mar 15, 2019 2:53 pm
I shared several old poems on the forums here (https://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic211905.html) and thought I'd make a blog post here to make them easier to find for people.

The Unknown...

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Re: Summary of who we are by Johnny-Jack on Sun Mar 10, 2019 8:42 pm
Carl 2+, #74. We've been getting the name for a few days. From same general abuse by father's punk bullying alter. Carl says he was kicked and got dirty from it.

Re: Who I Am by Lumelora on Sat Mar 09, 2019 10:51 pm
Valar Morghulis.

Re: 4hr12min9sec/day 18 by thegentlepath on Wed Mar 06, 2019 7:54 pm
8 months later. DHS notified me, they has scheduled smthn called a “psycho diagnostic” appointment for April...

Re: Who I Am by AeonianQueen on Mon Mar 04, 2019 4:05 pm
"I could still be here posting on this forum ...how exciting..."
Made me chuckle x)

Re: Ryder, age 40. Alter #34 by Johnny-Jack on Sat Mar 02, 2019 2:24 am
We have been working hard in therapy lately to give Ryder some time to do some back taxes for money we're owed. We have huge, huge triggers in the way so we're trying to work them out. Ryder has amazing...

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