June 2025
May 2025
Relationships;
And the universe takes me again; yet; even further. Seems like day after day after day more new information..
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DIALOGUING ON PAPER
Im able to express myself fully; well; yes? almost fully in dialog on paper to the subject person Im dialoguing with.
What does this mean? I pick the name of the person I want to dialog with and put it on paper; someone from my past. I start with with a phone call to that person; Its all in my imagination... However, Im writing it down. IT would be like this.
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EXAMPLE;
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OMNICELL: Hi Melissa; THis is Omnicell; Id like to come up; OK Omnicell...
Ill be up in a moment.
Im now walking up the hill to her house.
Im now knocking on the door of her house; KNock KNock KNock!
Door opens; its Melissa
Hi Mellisa; Hi Omnicell.
Can we sit on the couch Melissa; Ok Omnicell.
We are now sitting next to each other on the couch!
can I have your hands in mine Melissa; we are going to pray first before we start speaking; Ok Omnicell.
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Dear God; please be the center of our conversation and like an umbrella of your spirit; look after us as we speak together; In your name we pray; your will not ours; Amen!
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Hi Mellissa Hi Omnicell.
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Im now speaking to Melissa;
Mellissa; I remember the first time I met you; I came up; your brother gave me a ride and when I was introduced to you; I looked in your eyes and I saw your soul; I thought; my God; you need to be loved. You are so adorable; but I felt that way because you looked like you were neglected; it was in your eyes that I saw all the attraction I had. I thought; this is my calling; to love you for the rest of your life. God brought me here Mellisa to show you about GOd and that God loves you and to love you with all my heart and to adore you for the remainder of your life; It is Gods love coming through my heart for you and Gods gifts that he wants to share with you Melissa; That is why I am here... To give you these gifts.
But there is a problem Mellisa from the start; I assume you called out to Sunny Jesus; CHrist; Holy spiritus Universal; for help. Right Melissa; OK Omnicell!
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Did you call out to the universe Mellisa for Gods help??? Because it seems at some point Melissa; you were bored with me or you wanted more. But How or why would you want more; I mean; this is all coming from God and the universe; How could you get MORE! IF you asked the universe again for what you want; did the universe not send me with GOds gifts all ready; How are you going to ask the universe for something better? OK OMnicell.
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It seems to me Melissa you never let on anything was wrong; you acted perfectly as if you were interested in me up to the point of betraying me and GOd; I mean; you set both of us up as if this is some kind of game. Unethical sadistic game... sociopathic...
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NOTE: Mellisa always answers a simple comment; OK OMNICELL: When ever I want her to acknowledge that she has heard what I Was saying. Ill have her Answer OK OMnicell a few times through any page...
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So; Melissa; something is wrong here. FIrst; I looked into your eyes and saw your soul; But in my opinion after being around you; You are a sociopath and have no soul; so; something is wrong here.
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Is it possible I was wrong Melissa.. I looked in your eyes and saw you were dead inside but thats not from present abuse from your parents neglect; its from your dead soul because you have no soul.
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You lied to me Melissa; However; looking into your eyes; I mistook your dead look to be neediness when in reality you had no concious... and they can look similar. You looked needy but I dont remember you ever saying you were not loved by anyone or that you had any problems; in fact; I recognized that you had all kinds of problems; but I dont remember you ever saying you actually had any or were bothered by anything.
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I was concerned the whole time for you; in fact; one of the reasons Im up here at your house is to save you. However, You never said anything was wrong; I DID! ANd that's not how this is suppose to work; You are the one that is suppose to rebel against your parents Melissa and want something more for your life. Why didnt you go to school counselors and reach out for help Mellisa. WHy didn't you tell your parents off or run away or do something; call a relative about the situation. You never did anything. DId you even reach out to GOd; I thought you reached out to GOd Melissa and thats why I came; God sent me. Correct? OK OMnicell. So; ou did reach out to God? and we came!
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So Mellisa; I was wrong on all counts; Maybe you didnt call out to GOd for help; Or You are waiting for someone; someone evil... and I just happened to cross paths with you... SO; I have these gifts to give but you do not appreciate them; GOd has come to your door and through me has offered you these gifts; did you want them Melissa because it seems you changed your mind. If so; No problems; I will wipe the dirt from my feet at your door step; leave and never return. GOd will send me to more worthy places and people and not have my worth waisted here.
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You changed your mind not only On God Mellisa but on me; I was destroyed. I loved you as I was suppose to.. As God planned because you called out to the universe for help. I trusted God Mellisa that God was sending me to a girlfriend that would want me and love me. And you changed your mind mid stream on both of us. You rejected me; but you also rejected GOd for something better; How is this possible Melissa; You cant go back to God for something better; God all ready calculated what you needed. So; something doesn't fit here; NO? Instead; your looking for something more; More then GOd can give you; More then the universe can give you; and that something can only come from one place; pure evil! IT is Evil that you seek Melissa... Not God!
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I was destroyed by your manipulation; You groomed me and then pulled the rug out from underneath me. I did not know you were going to leave me Melissa; I never thought about it. It caught me off guard; I just assumed you weren't that kind of person. You did a great job fooling me and fooling God. God can do nothing about you changing your mind; you were given free will. But you are treacherous; you are leading innocent people to their death without a thought; setting up innocent people. You spit in my face and you spit in Gods face... playing both me and God.
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NOTE: Melisa was not my friend; she was an Imposter; opportunist and deceptive liar and thats all. Extremely dangerous individual. Plenty of warning signs but I ignored them; never saw their significance or worth until it was 2 late. Think of the Titanic Hitting an ICe burg. Now; if a new Titanic is created; that thing will always be in tropical islands and nowhere near ice baring seas... Live and learn. THis Melissa person did not like being with me or talking to me nor felt anything when she was talking to me. But she never let on that she felt that way; she was playing me the whole time; It mattered not to her. SHe was just using me as shes used countless others before me; I was not aware of it; nothing; no clue. I wasnt just a Simp! I was being completely groomed by a monster to take a fall; had no clue or idea; nothing; completely innocent! When it happened; it was like being beheaded. I didnt even know this was a bad person. I had no idea this person couldn't be trusted; no idea!
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NOTE: And so; The above dialogging is what I work on numerous times a day; I can Dialog with Melissa on Paper several times a day about anything that i want to talk about or feel; any kind of feeling toward Melissa; good or not; pain anger blame sadness hopelessness pure love caring marriage... anything. I get to say anything i want to. I can change my mind and ask her for forgiveness and tell her Im sorry and I love her and want her and confess all my inner feelings for her; 2 minutes later blame her for everything and curse her to hell; I just have to remember to pray with her first and have God over everything to start with before I start conversating with her...
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And all of this is working. Ive been working on this for a month. However, let the reader understand; these are advanced concepts after much recovery work for years and years. I was never ready for any of this kind of closer before; it would have ruptured my personality to even get into something like this deep; I would have been accepting the loss and I could not do that until recently; not at this level.
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Ultimately; Melissa did not like me; did not want to spend time with me; never wanted to sit with me or conversate with me or ever talk to me again and she never wanted to marry me as I always thought she did; she ended up discarding me and getting rid of me. She married someone else Im sure. I never heard from her again. When I was young; I did call her 10 years later to tell her how I felt; I was laughed at; she had her fiancée sitting next to her next to the phone to intimidate and create embarrassment; to make me feel as exposed and embarrassed as possible; to look like a fool. Remember; God is with me the whole time. Im being led by God; I had to do this to get out my feelings before I went nuts; I was already crazy...
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Back to Dialogging examples;
Here is an example of a positive dialogging experience with Melissa; remember; I can do what ever I want on paper regardless. I can be as positive and romantic as I want or I can be in blame mode and let all those feelings out; I can let out any feelings I want to on paper; that is the point!
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Hi Melissa; Hi Omnicell.
I wanted to tell you how I feel bout you Melissa; OK Omnicell.
I loved you from the first time I saw you Melissa; when you were with your mom in the front room the first time I met you.
OK Omnicell
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I loved you for ever. I wanted to take care of you for the rest of your life; swoon over you; love you adore you; hold you in my arms.
Melissa; can you help me; Im afraid of getting physically close to someone; can you take care of me and let me just get close with you. OK Omnicell.
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I dont know how to tell you how I feel about you melissa... I want to; but its something Im not used to.
My mother messed me up really bad melissa and I closed down and now when its time to tell you how I feel; Im completely shut off; but I want so badly for you to know how much I love you; You are best friend and I know that. I want to marry you melissa and be with you for ever!
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Forgive me Melissa
Im sorry melissa
I love you melissa
Thank you so much melissa for help me and your family helping me... OK OMNICELL>
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I know the first time I saw you melissa; I knew you were my wife...
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However, let me confess to you Melissa; Ive flunked out in school the whole time; all of my life. I was destroyed in the family system I came from; and thrown away by the time I was 9 years old. I have no future; not like other people; Ill probably be spending the remainder of my life trying to recover from this; and that will be my direction; if you want to come along next to my journey; you certainly can but it wont be changing; Ill be working with GOd the whole time trying to better myself and trying to learn about how to be successful at everything. Could you still accept me Melissa?
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THE RESULTS;
Im almost completely back to normal in many respects because Im sharing powerfully and freely to her about everything Ive ever wanted to say to her; over n over n over! everything I want to say and feel. Its given my power back... Im not blocked. Yes; its like I freelly walked back up to her house when young; numerous times and talked with her getting things straitened out.
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NOTE: LEt the reader remember; Melissa was pure evil and deceptive; I never got to tell her anything of how I felt when I was around her; I was almost silenced... I wont go into the complexities of why. So; I had to hold all that love in. I thought she would be my wife for ever... Instead she turned out to be no better then some worthless thief. I was devastated and heart broken for ever; I loved sitting with her and talking and thought I had lost my life my future. However, GOd has retained it and brought it back to life.
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Melissa was no better then a Murder'r; more like a Serial Murder'r; Im sure I wasnt so important that she did the same thing to many others after and before me. I meant nothing to her; not from the first moment I met her to the last moment I saw her; pure evil; and Evil is all she will find...
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dialogging; is or has worked and is working for me; as an ongoing solution to past relationship problems. tHe universe sent this technique to me because Im in a new time period of dealing with these issues of people from the past. ITs part of a much bigger picture of techniques and problem solving the universe is supplying for me recovery process.
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NOTE: The world is made of not only wonderful products of magic; its also made of of bad apples; Bad Apples like the Melissas in the world; Godless Murder'rs of different forms lurking to destroy innocent human beings; Like a rattle snake dressed up in church cloths; they are not really sent by GOd; they are children of hell... Pure Evil; that is where their allegiance lays... It happens.
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NOTE; Let the reader understand. GOd was with me when young; always has been with me and 1000 times that now; But even really young God was always with me... But I made a crave error in life; I was going after people who were GOdless.. ANd I was trying to save them or change them or rescue them when no one claimed they needed to be rescued or that anything was wrong; and Ill pay a heavy brutal price for associating with these degenerates. I was be destroyed several times because of this.
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I have gifts from GOd and am more cautious these days to make sure I operate in safe waters while in my LUV submarine. I only go where God leads me; to those like myself that have God in them and directed gifts to offer others set up by GOd... No one else! No Thanks... My gifts are attracting others of the same value and frequency that have asked God to that they want to receive these gifts from someone..
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How about this; How about after developing a working relationship with a higher power; after years of recovery work; Not alone; but within groups of others and many others systems for recovery; how about I meditate; assuming Ive been able to do meditation for a long time. I sit and meditate and let the Holy spirit of Christ within me; That is Sunny Jesus for me. Jesus; Christ-Jesus-manudo-Christo -apocalypeso..... Sunni-esta-Jesusozzzz Christ-a-Holy-one-of-A-God -A-Univers-ales A...... Let Christ hold on to me quietly and just sit with GOd/Universe and feel it and feel the directions..
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So; I meditate for a long enough period; that at the end I just wait. Im not expecting others to show up around me to save me; nor do they need to; maybe for the first time; everything is silent and I want it that way; I wait upon Gods instructions to go or roam in a specific direction; But this time I dont need anyone else... Im not dependent in personality; Im feeling that kind of( Im alone here); and Im strong enough to take off on my own and dont need anyone or expect anyone and dont need it anyway because I can learn to work alone. To connect with the world on my own 2 feet with out anyone showing up in the middle of the pathway. MY God; wouldn't that be a brilliant thing. This is where Im headed; to be without dependency... Im getting completely fulfilled.
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Ive always been broken because I was discarded. So; to be with Christ; and process all the way through with no one at that end of the food chain; just me and God and no one else showing up; but Im not reacting... Im not freaking out because Im alone or have that feeling of insecurity; I do have a feeling of aloneness but that doesn't bother me at all; its fine because Im a fully working system
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If I want the right people; Ill attract them; but first I must go through the veil of meditational consciousness. This means at the end of the meditation; and I sit; and Im aware; my eyes open in a sense and that is all I need; that peace at the end of the meditation.
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NOTE: IN the past; I had to have someone their to pick me up and take care of me because the inside of me was a little child; and thats exactly what I need and thats fantastic regardless at any time. My goal here was to see if I could with Gods help create a relationship with CHrist to the point that I was so connected to the universe with a relationship with the universe that I was whole; or wholly taken care of and new it... loved safe and taken care of... And didnt need any humans around after the meditational experience.
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So; Im at that place of meditating all the time and then waking up from it but being completely alone and fine; Not only fine; but with this freedom I can do anything and go anywhere as is alone. I dont need to call anyone or check in with anyone; Im not suggesting taking off and not telling anyone where Im going in that sense of getting lost and no one knows where I am; Im not trying to cause havoc in my life or others; Im suggesting a spiritual liberation .
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I wake up and Im alone and dont feel alone. I have myself and Im depending on myself; actually Im depending completely on God with full account and I ask God for things completely aligned and believing.
Why this is important; I learn to be on my own; but its not alone. It doesn't feel lonely; It just feels like the feeling of company id get from others Im getting but without them. I dont hve any needs to be met. But im alone... But completely connected to the universe. However; its not an insecurity connection to the universe where Im dissociated and having to learn to live isolated-dissociated; this is something completely different. THis is like a kid that depends on his mom who when growing up finds himself alone; he could ask his mom for help; but doesnt because he wants to be alone and do it alone; hes all ready developed.
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Im not alone because Im learning how to be alone. Im alone because Ive all ready accomplished; I dont need to be in any other state to get the job done; Now I can stand on my own 2 feet spiritually and get the job done; I dont need to be with a weeks worth of people.
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Treacherous waters/ :
I was at another fellow ship at a church; I saw someone and I was glad to see them; I sat down with the person and they put me down and insulted me with a smile; I was taken back by their comments. I was shocked; This person was indecent and not on my side; I wont make that mistake again. And thats whats out here; this is not my friend and could care less; One has to be carefull.
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I saw a women at the same place. SHe hangs out with a bunch of feminists from the other groups. Shes attractive and knows it. I have always completely ignored her and for good reason.
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At this specific meeting place; I knew better; Ive been around; I saw her their; it surprised me; She should have said hello to me out of respect because Im a respectful kind of guy; Im a person of values; and those values are what one shows respect to! However, I knew better when dealing with this kind of person; and I was correct; No respect no concious; nothing; Just Horrible.
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However, I Was smart enough not to say a word to this person and not get near this person for any reason; because when these 2 faced types are alone; and not trying to be popular; They dont know me. ANd they could care less; pure opportunists; completely worthless. However, I dont have to worry about it; what ever this person has got that she can manipulate others with; I wont get close enough for it ever to happen to me. And thats the price I pay; I cant be everyone's friend... I cant attract the whole world. Instead; Its better to turn to God Universe and talk to God and meditate and attract who GOd wants to attract to me at Gods frequency and no one else. THis means Im fully inline with GOd and I pray all the time and pray for what I want. And pray for God to be with me and take care of me and protect me and to align with the holy spirit. ANd from there when Im inline within that vortex of Christ; from that point; lets see who I attract... I dont think these auxiliary people Ive mentioned will show up; Im looking for a whole other set of people of culture and education.
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