June 2025
May 2025
Rousseau corner…
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Checking in;
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Created art at Rousseau Corner 3 times yesterday; in one day. Several people came by and talked for a moment. Ive never been this freed up. If I could pull this off 6 times in a day; I might say I was ready to take a big canvas out and really think about Art as a secondary or minor starting career and see if I would be committed. Im not working a job because of dissociative disorder.. So; any movement in the career area; being able to focus on anything for a specific amount of time is a huge step forward.
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Women;
Several years back; I parted my ways from women; slowly drifted away. MGTOW. I MGTOW’d for a while; Red pilled it. Took a break for a few moments..
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So; Im officially starting with a blue haired lass showing up… I get them to text me their numbers fairly quickly these days; right from the start…. So it's on…. Now what. What do I want to do now that Im coming back… Its slow but happening.
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Just as my art is coming back. Women are starting too show up again as before; Looks like Im back.. So; I'll have to think about this one. Im slowly moving back into the middle of society again. This time I earn it spiritually psychologically speaking.
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Im starting to some forms of sanity outside around people. I longer think everyone is better than me; I just don't. Im showing some personal power around others; I guess; if thats the right word….
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Im shocked about the art work. What I will do; If I can make it 6 independent times outside creating art in the same day; I'll start taking it more seriously and move into the phase of as closer regular or real artist; we will see.
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I am what I attract. This means I have to get off my A%% and create movement outside talking to people; showing up around them.
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THe last girl I got a number from a few days ago; it wasnt in my apartment…. I was venturing out on an adventure.
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I was thinking; How about a concept of talking to women on an daily basis…. make that the goal for adventures outside…. Their it is; lots of new experience with that….. great…
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CAr..
The goal with the car; create a positive strong narrative about having a car and loving it and the adventures within that car… all the great things about it.. It's not that easy; I find it's more about where the car takes me. We will see.
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I'll work with the universe until the car shows up…. Solidly. Non stop. Keep writing about my car as if its already here until its here. never quit. keep working with the universe on it everyday…
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Im in preliminary script concerning the car. This is an area before the beginning story of receiving or working or earning a car. This prelim is a mix of stories of good and bad and broken child and hopeful teenager; emotionally speaking. At some point this mix will move into modern reality present; being in the present and I will focus only on what I want; not where I came from. But I've got things to work out; pain resentments grieving still. Im hurt or sour…. Pain; deep cutting pain; like a knife….
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Once Im in reality with this; and this means Im a bit more confident and stronger in reality; I come up to speed for what I want and it meets me there; in this case; this means the STORY of the car meets me. The new story; and I and the story move forward together slowly building co creating with the universe until the car is present. This means a pathway opens up to the car when Im ready…
I am what I attract. So; I have to be up to speed to feel worthy….
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Worthiness; this is a mystery I'll keep working on; frustrating.
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At some point when i start the actual story for the car; money story will be involved and must grow. And Id like to know what car I really want… Ill keep working on this; Im not up to speed yet concerning the car I want…
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