July 2025
June 2025
Dating support;
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Ive been working on dating and social aspects for a while now with a sponsor. The goal was to come back from nothing; making my way all the way back to new experiences; experiences that would take me to popularity with women; wonderful conversations with women with confidence; and finally phone numbers and asking for dates. And; Ive gotten this far. Ive gotten all the way right up next to the first date; But it never happened… I never got the first date; I got smoked or ghosted on the last one.
So; Almost; But I got that far. And that is a super amount of experience; and I did it; Hurrah!
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So; after talking to the sponsor about all of it.
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I ended up at a meeting today; a special meeting; I go to on Fridays. I was totally dissociated and not sure what my future looked like. However; of all the strange but great things to happen; Dating came up as one of the topics and everyone started to open up; almost like a campfire group on an outing camping around the campfire at early dark… talking …. really intimate…
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I was shocked; and completely taken by surprise and what a great surprise. I got to open up yet again; and tell a group of people very close; that I had confidence; and no self worth when it came to dating; I had no sexual market value; because I had no idea who I am to anyone. And that I was bashful and afraid and petrified and scared to death of being rejected; Im super vulnerable.
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And that God finally told me to stop going after people that had no value for me; Just Stop.
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Now; Im gathering a team of individuals I can respond to as I go into the world of dating. The world of dating for me is much like a job search. Its serious business. Im looking for someone internally just like me.
Im an introvert; intellectual; shy withdrawn; bashful extremely secretive creative; shy.
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This type of person Im looking for; Ill have to get up to speed…
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I told the group; I wanted someone that missed me; cared if they had no seen me. Someone that when they woke up in the morning they thought about me and it meant something to them; they were thinking about me when they got up in the morning.
If they hadnt seen me for a year; they would always wonder what happened to me and they were thinking about me. If they saw me again; they would be excited to see me and enthusiastic; People interested in me.
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Thats what Im looking for and working with God on finding… and or attracting. And someone that wants to help me; build me up; as my best interests at heart. And so one. Someone that is my best friend wouldn't hurt either.
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Where in the world would I find someone like this? I don’t know; but my inner being knows; and God knows and the universe knows.
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So; Im kind of on that search and discovery process right now.
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So;
Back to the meeting; it was an exquisite meeting. And lifted my spirits through the roof; My God; it flipped everything over to the positive… incredible. Never in my life did I expect this to happen. Its like Gods hands just through a giant light of the spirit from outer space; right into the middle of our gathering. Now Im super stoked. Incredible.
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Ive got like one more meeting to bring up some other internalized secrets concerning dating; Mainly that I have no confidence in myself concerning women and dating. All I can do is take a chance and ask women; ask them for what I want… I have no idea of the outcome.
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I will continue to gather more people I can call on as part of my dating support group… Its just starting;
I have many many days of experience ahead dealing with women and getting support… learning how to interact with women again and dating again and having a girlfriend…
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