September 2025
August 2025
Went to a meeting; talked about social anxiety; Because I cant even deal with anyone in front of me because Im terrified of all of it; the idea of a relationship…
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The only remote relationships Ive had; the goal was relief from social anxiety disorder. Actually; I just wanted to be loved by a family; The girl finally gave up why I was at her house; and soon; the whole thing just crumbled. I got mad at the girl for not understanding.
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What I needed was lots of support I didn’t have. Now I have some levels of support.
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When I take this stuff to God; I get one answer back; Just follow they guide from one of the Dating coaches I watch; ( a very good one); Just do what he says and stop trying to make women into men when Im talking to them. Im talking to a women; I have to talk in a way that conveys my interest in having a girlfriend or a wife… I have to create the excitement and interest in her so she can decide for herself. This is specific language associated to women for the purpose of courting… This is not One man talking to another; that wont work here; And thats the way it is; either adapt or go home alone; Women are not men and never will be; and never will I talk to them as if Im talking to a guy about a football game…
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Im starting to get it; get in line to the rules of the universe; Fine; I give; Ill do it; Just take orders.
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As for relationships; interactions; dating to going home with someone; I have to learn from the very ground up; all of it.
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Im starting to realize; I never learned anything concerning relationship or dating or women or taking women home or romance or sex or anything.
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I actually was always looking for a family system to hide within because of my anxiety; thats all I ever did. So; I never really had any relationships with anyone.
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Now; I would like to learn how to talk to women and have this all change.
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However; for a New Design for living ( a concept out of the 12 step groups Im a member of); I need relationship with God; support/ sponsor; and I have to learn how to take action. So; taking action can mean simply prayer and writing new stories about the new life I want; or working the steps with a sponsor.
However; in my case; it now means something more real world. If Im working on dating; It means; learning how to go to new places; meet new people in the right tribes; and success with these people means; they will offer introductions to the women they know. And thus it begins; I begin to work with real women I may be able to date and interact with for romantic purposes; Thus; I have to learn how to meet them in introductions; flirt with them creating romantic sexual tensions; and then get their numbers and call them for a next basic date and go from from there… and a whole of more stuff.
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So; all of this interaction requires allot of work and training on my part. The anxiety disorder makes this type of interactions with people; almost completely impossible; I mean; Im in a true literal state of shock n terror. However; something wonderful has happened and continues to happen.
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My ability to accept the things I cannot change; and the courage to change the things I can; and the responsibility associate with showing up and doing the work for a thing; Im much more developed then I realized for general living and I have allot of support. So;
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I think barely I can do this; but I can tolerate doing this. I can; but seriously; really; it gets really vulnerable and absolutely freaks me out to have success with women Im attracted to; My God; its like fantasy to me. I do not feel good enough for such things. However; That wont stop me; but this is really going to hurt going in this direction but in the end I will grow up a bit.
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What I will learn;
I will learn; Im able to go after my own interests; Its OK. Im not the first independent that has had to go after what he wants.. I do have support; but I tell you; it truly terrifies me considering the loss of control and the vulnerability of it all.
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I will start at the beginning; and I will work with a sponsor and take actions… do what Im told to do… follow through…
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