Blog; where Im at now!
.
2 areas;
Relationships
Activities
.
.
Relationships; Well; I have sponsors and support groups… I have a working good relationship; hard and struggling relationship with God… But its Good; as far as I can see. Its bow down to God; to my higher power...
.
SO; Im at the low end; The very beginning of learning about or trekking forward with the idea of learning about relationships; a curiosity; an exploration; a developing of the work ethic needed to meet people and finally be successful at it; This will take work; lots of it; Nothing is free; However; Ive got time and God on my side. All is good; I dont have to be overwhelmed. GOds got me; the universe has got my back; Ive got friends in the sky; God; Jesus; Universe; Holy spiritus and Gods Army; the blue Angels; my Galaxy Justice league; all for myself; they take care of me; they look out for me; They are my friendly protectors in this life and abroad. .
.
As for relationships and the process to acquare such things in Gods kingship and sovereign state; under Gods care; It will be for the first time. I no absolutely nothing about doing this or them ( about women and how to meet them that are qualified under Gods care; women that have been attracted by the light; and anyone else that might land their space ship from outer-space)… Never been their before… Never met anyone before…
.
Ill be working with a sponsor on it… it will be for the first time…
I guess its what 11 year olds go through when they hit 13… Thats the thick of it…
.
.
.
Activities; these are certainly growing…
.
Ive made in roads and can I say Im safe to say; have or am moving forward; or; this is open to me; Music and Art Creation; For this blog; thats what this is all about… and Ive moved forward.
.
Im really moving down within and on top of the surface of a work grid; That is the direction of my recovery; its no longer about abstract things concepts or the focus on the past concerning what others have done to me and how to work a recovery process to get over it; Or; working the steps on that aspect of the past; the resentments.
.
Now; after many years of working on the past; a natural movement from God has occurred; Ive earned the right under God; and Ive been moved forward into a work grid… Most if not all my interest and focus is present to forward looking; meaning; what I am looking forward to. I have lots of goals and that is the natural God given and directed focus these things; and its actually happening and Im slowly making progress more n more; More n More being trained down this pathway…. My interest is more n more on the future and the goals I have for the future; The future is looking bright; not just because of the goals but because of appreciation. I start where Im at… I work under God and with God and with those God has sent me to help to build me up; protect me; teach me; take care of me and mentor me… And with enough love and support; I start showing signs of being human again and the sunlight. So; I start where I start… For the first time down a trail… Its all Good! Its all Oke…
.
SO; Today My natural focus is now on the work; I envision seeing myself at the actual work of a thing before its produced; its that work; I see myself at; that's what I want to take an interest in and focus on; on being the worker; on my work ethic; my ability to see myself in the creation process; thats whats important for me.
.
I want to see myself drawing on a Art Tablet; scratching and smearing and rubbing the plastic with that electronic art pen; scribbling hidden ancient hieroglyphics.
.
I see myself; my vision only on that Art pad; that Art tablet in front of the computer; I don’t see the monitor; I don’t care whats being drawn on it because thats not the focus of what Im doing here…
.
My focus is not on the end result of Art. Right Now; its on the work ethic that creates a product; Thats what I want to get good at and accept.
.
For example; Its easy to see an imaginary outcome; a finished painting in general; Maybe I don’t know what it would be. But in my grandiose fantasy; thats what I see or feel; the grandness of it all; So I can say Ive got finished work..
.
However; I didn’t realize I never visualized the actual work; moment by moment that goes into a thing… Its been dissociated…
.
IF I cant visualize the boring work that goes into a thing; the monotony of a thing; How am I suppose to believer Ill actually finish anything or even try. Im starting to realize; the person that wants to actually finish something in real life is the person that visualizes not only the finished product but also appreciates the day to day work ethic as part of that process. I want to appreciate all that goes into a day of work for that thing Im trying to build.
.
NOTE; Its the appreciation of this thing; the value from standing below it; looking up at it; as if it has worth; is a thing; sought after. I remember the story of Cleopatra; she was sought after; she was the ruler of Egypt. I seek the audience of a good work ethic as other dignitaries sought after an audience with Cleopatra. I have value for work ethic. I want to see myself at ground level scratching on that Art pad; moving that pen back n forth round n round n round.
.
I want to appreciate all that goes into a day of work for that thing Im trying to build; this work ethic; to admire it; this work ethic; I value it like a fine piece of Gold. To look up to it; the way a Son looks up to his father!
.
For right now; I want that work( work ethic) more important in my minds eyes and imagination then the ever changing end result of the work; the final product. I want that vision of work ethic that created the final product to be substantiated; to be of importance; more importance then the finished product… And I want the finished product solid and good!
.
I want to admire the work ethic that builds civilizations. I want to look at it; focus on it; watching it through my imagination. I want to see myself; my hands struggle with it and watch my hands choose to continue work over not working because of that great respect for Work Ethic… Because Im worth it; Im worth not giving up… I can do this; I can learn to be consistent and take that chance to struggle at a thing…
.
My goal is to visualize the moment by moment work going into a thing. To really see it and feel it and see and feel the boring consistency and accept work… Really accept it as a friend or as an equal. I want the work to be my friend and my equal. I want that work at the same high level as the finished product. I want it as important or much more then the finished product.
.
I want to focus on the work aspect completely; as equal or more important. I want to see it; the day to day work; everyday; I want to see it in my mind and. I want to value that thing and thus be attracted to it; that work ethic…
.
I want to see it in my imagination; the struggle with the drawing pen scratching away on the tablet to make lines and circles and shapes and back n forth scratches… I want to see the consistent struggle. I want to see the struggle and feel it; From one frustrating second to another as I hang in there and fight to keep working at things… Where there is no reward; just work; long time periods of it; knowing How it doesn’t feel much; its just work and its frustrating and hard; its not an easier softer road.. Instead; its just work; work ethic… Seeing myself finish what I start; working to finish what I start; I want to see myself not dropping out but sticking it out; finishing it; making it to the finishing line and feeling that the standard; keeping the standard is whats important… Thats what Im working on; to learn to get my standards higher; get them up further; and that can only happen by increasing the work ethic; putting my value into the value of the work.
.
A good worker is more value then what I produce. For the better the work ethic the better the value of what I produce; Thus; the work ethic is the focus; thats what I want to be solid and good at; the work ethic.
And their it is…
.
.
.
.
.