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Letting go of the Past now; Im just able to just kind of float above and just float forward.....
I can do this because I know the score concerning the past... I know what the truth is...
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Moving into relationship concepts and ideas. At some point; A relationship Grid. Much like the Work Grid. I can feel it.
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Ive worked on FIRST LOVE from my past and many other false destructive situations… Falsely created situations in my mind; things that never existed. I just created them and needed to believe them… even tho they were false and unreal. Either way; I needed that fantasy… But I created it; and thats where all the work has been… to un hook from that those fantasies back into reality. Im still working on it.
However; Ive worked on it enough that I can feel it; I will be moved on from Work Grid to Relationship Grid where I will be working on real relationships with real people for the first time….
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I have to be prepared tho; for such things so I don’t get destroyed…
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Im heading in that direction. Its sickening what has happened to me in the past; It is… Horrible. Horrifying… However; my goal is to go past that; into the kind of people and places and things God wanted me in, in the first place and to focus on those….
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I don’t know that place yet… Its a place that never was…
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So; I have to work with God this time; slowly moving into that area… and learning to feel safe in it. Unfortunately when Young I was slaughtered in it… murdered with no defense….
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So…
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We will see.
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As for Work Grid. I am participating….
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Art Work; Well; did some today; I think Im getting the message; Just do the Art work; get strong enough with God going down pathways that lead to creating Art work. Im working on that….
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I don’t know that Ive said everything I wanted to say…. I may have wanted to say more. .
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But its simple; Its getting inline with God again doing the work until I appreciate the chance to meet new people…
I cant say it any better then this…
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ill humble myself before God so many many times; that this appreciation will appear. However; Ill have to do it…