September 2025
August 2025
One of the last aspects of First Love is to let go of the actual love I felt for her; " In Love With Her";
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I was very young and thought she was to be my wife; I thought I had found my girl for ever; I loved her devotionally and completely; the child in me loved her as if God had brought her to me ( HE HADNT); I never realized at the time I was suppose to go in the opposite direction to face and deal with the signals God was sending me.. I was not suppose to go up the street to meet this person I fell for. God did not send me; Satan did.... IT was a false light...
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IT was a false light; and because of that; I ended up destroyed. However, because it was a light; I thought it was a natural call from GOd; I mean; i thought I was going in the right direction; had no reason to think anything else.
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I fell in love with her the first week. It all seems so natural and right; After awhile; the soulmate concept; best friend concept; I felt so natural with her up close and personal and all that!
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In the end; it was all faked; faked down to the fake looks of wanting and needing and playing the ballerina that needed to be saved; the helpless maiden look up close; all of it; every single eye movement was simply registering what it would take to fraud me into believing I was creating a relationship of marriage for life; It was a scam; all of it; 100% by a seasoned pathological liar. A sociopath with no concious...
I knew something wasnt right. Something was off. IT was like; I was liked it seems like an object; Im not sure I was her desire; but she seemed to have wanted me for something. But what ever it was; I was being used and she was no friend.
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I fell in love with her completely; She set it up that way; it wasnt; hard; she connected or opened up that connection with the inner little boy in me; the innocent one I needed a mother from.. And of course this makes me so sick to my stomach... It was an empty connection; it was just a way of grooming someone.. and she was. I was groomed the whole time...
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THE PROBLEM:
LOVE: It was genuine real love from me. However, shockingly; after I realized much later that I was dealing with a sociopath that I meant nothing to; it was just a fraud game... Horribly I had no real connections to this fraudulent person; so the love wasn't real. The intimate connections for love from other person; she triggered those in me; all of them; the right ones that give the impression of a future wife. THe real love for a future wife; it was all a scam. There was no love from her side; not friendship; no soulmate; no nothing; she felt nothing at all; it was a big scam.. It was just fun n games for these type of offenders...
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IN THE PRESENT:
Now; I work with God universe; to undo the love feelings I had. That means the universe shows me how to get rid of the love.
The love feelings are attached to memories of her when she play acted roles of innocence to get my fierce loyalty. I was being groomed/trauma bonded and hooked in.
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The love is fake; I mean; it has to go! THe love areas in me were triggered on purpose by this person to groom me! She was a seasoned professional; she knew exactly what she was doing... She was out to take someone who was innocent and ruin them for the fun of it! From a more deeper horror level of a sociopath.
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So; One of the last areas I have to deal with Im still hooked in with; is the small child innocent area within me that had innocent love for her from the start.
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The love is not legitimate. Loving that person was not legitimate. Because there was no real personality; it was faked; all of it. it was all a masquerade. She was leading people on off a cliff... It was a thrill kill to destroy someone for the fun of it! Thats all it was... They do this if they think they can get away with it...
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THE POINT;
So; any connection through emotions or love for this person has to go... THe love I felt for this person; has to go...
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The actual love; the whole connective process has to be thrown out as fraudulent; where; when this persons face pops up in my head; I see and feel no love feelings; That is the goal; THe universe can help me with this.
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THE UNIVERSE
The universe can take all feelings of love for this person and destroy them; pull them out by the roots where I discard them completely. And I mean completely.
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That is what Im asking the universe to do for me!
I was tripped into believing fierce loyalty for my feelings for this person. Feelings of authentic deep love.
So; All of this has to be pulled out at the roots until nothing remains.
ITs not that its just and uncomfortable idea; Working with the universe on it is a kind of new idea for me. The universe can do this. I want no more connection with this false person from the past; Thus; whats left connecting me; is this lower level child like innocent love for someone that turns out to have never existed.
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Ill be working on how the universe to go about getting rid of any feelings for this person coming from connective points within my nervous system; soul; personality...
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This was a Fraud situation.
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So; Ill be praying for change; praying to have all memories removed or non focusing upon them coming into my mind that would trigger this specific love feelings for this person. And any other mood changing karma that might trigger things. I dont know.
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So; Ill be writing stories about being cleared of any triggering feelings for this person.
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The idea is; the universe wants to move me on into new relationships; The old must go.
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IVe had goofy stupid half witted relationships with weirdo's; Non of those relationships made any sense and I had no feelings for those people... Unfortunately I never got a good start with the right people. God would like to change this and help me to be prepared to feel again and be in relationships with the right people from the right tribe...
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All past must go.
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What is left from the past at this point; An innocent love for my FIrst Love. Thus it must go....
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The universe will remove it completely by the roots.....
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