September 2025
August 2025
This may be the deciding condition I was looking for; and I think it is; I think the universe has sent me down energy river and continues to.
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My First Love had no morals; Nothing; She never had any to start with... What are morals. Morals are what keep people from killing each others in society; killing each other; raping each other; torturing innocent victims.. Morals are aligned with God and society... Being immoral; really immoral is a despicable state in society. I Serial Killa is immoral; unethical. immoral people have no concious.. I believe... I think they go hand n hand. I imagine a real immoral person is also lawless; Thinks they are truly above any laws if they can get away with it... Not Getting caught is all they care about... They are above the laws of God... They have no God...
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FIRST LOVE:
Ive watched several crime channels for a while now.. Ive noticed something; especially with female serial killers. They way they are described; the way they fool people with no concious. The way they led their victims on; people who were innocent and naive. The female serial killer led them on with promises of intimacy. The scary part; the female serial killer convinced them they were sincere; convinced their victims. I believe it. It sounds like the victims never thought twice; anything was wrong. Im not sure one can tell something is wrong unless they've been destroyed before.
The same thing happened to me. I was so gongho after meeting the person; I never thought they were good or bad. I just supposed they were decent or nice; Why would they want anything to do with me if they weren't nice! It never occured to me they were evil! I never thought about it. I had gotten myself into deep before I began to see trouble. By that time I had been fully conned and manipulated. I had no idea I was being manipulated; I had no idea what was going on.
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What scares me the most was my attraction to her thinking I had found this nice girl that no one loved; And the was the bait. And my readings and findings suggest thats always the bait created by the female sociopath/narcissist; they want the victim to think they are a Knight who is rescuing them... The female narcissist plays the role of the maiden.. And only " I The Knight"; can rescue them because Im the perfect one for them. They use my fierce loyalty against me... Thats how they hook me.
The more I understand what happened; the more sick to my stomach I get... And the more answers come from the universe on how to get out of this.
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This person was completely immoral 100%. This means they can act anyway they want; fool anyone anyway they wont; set someone up anyway they want; They have no internal morality screaming at them that setting up innocent people is wrong. They dont have a God consciousness telling them its against Gods law... THey have no respect for the laws of their land; THey will try to murder someone if they think they can get away with it. The act of murder means nothing to them... Its pure evil.
The universe is showing me that I walked into a completely dangerous horrific situation. And thus; now; in my imagination; Im now learning how to slowly backtrack out of it and run; feeling nothing; Ive sucked up all my feelings back into myself; now its about survival to get out of there completely..
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The universe has shown me a way to backtrack slowly; keep my feelings to myself; keep my personal value as a human being to myself; and slowly back away from that situation in much defense and slowly go back to where I came from quietly until Im in a safe zone.
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What does this mean; " Im backing away completely"; IT means I see this person from a God consciousness perspective; God sees her as the complete enemy to God. And because I worship God and depend on God; God is teaching me Gods insites.. And The universe is teaching me survival skills. How to stay alive emotionally and spiritually while dealing with demonic forces like this.
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How do I feel; Well; I feel GREAT! I hurt; all of this makes me deeply cringe at the deepest level; but I can feel that special place at the deepest level of self; ITs a place I now own; me and God; it is no long owned by this girl from the past. That means its basically 100% complete; This means enough information has been dropped on the table for me to see this monster for what they are...
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If I saw this person somewhere and they were with their new man... And they saw me; They would feel nothing; absolutely nothing. It wouldnt matter a bit to them; Nothing. It would have been as if I had never met them that girl. Thats how far this sick thing was taken; it was all a scam... It was a scam by a monster.
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The key for me is to keep working with the universe; keep going until I have enough information on this person that they make me so sick to my stomach; that I see them truthfully as God sees them... For their crimes against people... THey criminals... lawless and sickening...
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I was fooled; groomed. I had no idea... Nothing. And now that Ive pulled away; Im slowly getting my original self back; especially in the middle of my core.
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Im hurting as I go through this; as she is leaving every part of my inner self. She is leaving as I uncover the truth...
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AT THE MEETINGS:
Strange things have been happening to me at the meetings; a few new people; They are greatly younger then me. But they've been acting strange around me; almost as if they are friendly; 2 friendly; I feel that sense of being scammed or set up or played.
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A first they act like we are friends or they feel safe around me. But then suddenly they find others to associate with almost in a sense against me. Like they were playing me. And then yesterday I could really feel it; it was as if this one women comes and sits by me says hi; then suddenly jumps up and looks at me in a scary fashion with a kind of longing in her face with a bit of worry and fear; almost like I wanted her to stay but she cant because Im not safe; then she whisks over to another table and snugs in with others at the table.
Ive seen this numerous times before; but its been awhile since someone was playing me. And looking back at; Ive been getting played by this person for awhile.. I knew something seemed mercy.
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This is not that abnormal considering the kinds of meetings for this specific group. I go to allot of different groups.
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What I found interesting was the way she is playing me; it felt IMMORIAL! I know it was the universe showing me something... Its my opinion but the universe will show me examples of what Im focusing on right now so I can see it in front of me. The universe will use real world examples of immoral behavior of someone taking advantage of me to show me in real terms what its like; so I can get a first hand knowledge of it. So I can remember. The universe is on my side; the universe is not trying to hurt me; just show me a harmless example... and it was; but it sting a bit.. .She caught me off guard... It was a kind of betrayal. Its like she took an interest in me only to wait until my guard was down so she could pull the rug on me in front of others to show she thinks Im a fool...And she is on their side. Its perfect sociopathic narcissist move.
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I thought maybe she was a narcissist type from the beginning so I never really go to close. But; the narcissist sociopath does not want to look bad in front of others... So; they will make me look bad first.
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BACK TO THE STORY:
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SO; Ill keep working with the universe. The universe continues to go deeper and deeper and deeper within me sucking the poison of this monster out of every deep layden crevasse within my nervous system and soul.
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The key is to keep working with the universe on all of this until my nervous system is dry of this person.
The key is the truth; when the universe implants information in the center of my brain concerning this person; who she really was; The more truth I receive; the more I see her for the criminal monster she was; and how she was manipulating me; and the more I want her gone... ANd so; Ill keep working with the universe on it...
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And I need God right now and all the time... THat is my only job right now; to get better.
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NOTE; I saw other women; maybe in real life or video commercials; but I noticed they appeared to be nice. And I thought; I never tried to go out with someone nice... I was always looking for someone who needed me as a Knight that would save them... But I was always manipulated by those types. I was always looking for someone like my mother that I could fix... But it never worked; I was always just being fooled by some female criminal that was playing me for kicks..
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SO; Ill start working with God on who I want to meet.
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Weight problems. Real problems... Ill have to keep this subject alive...
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So; Ill stay with God and keep working on things..
Our partner
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