September 2025
August 2025
New story…
.
.
In the meetings today. A women I know of; not very well; she is interesting and attractive. I have talked to her before. I maybe had someone interest in her; but that was short lived. Something wrong with her.
Every time I share; I can hear her tone of voice after Ive finished sharing; its like someone who is putting me down or doesn’t take me seriously… I didn’t get it at first; her strange aloof behavior around me. Now I don’t care.
.
Im beginning to get it; She a weirdo… And Im ouda here…
.
Ive began to get allot of anxiety from Anxiety Disorder… Why? Im growing and changing; Im wanting to break through the glass bubble I live in and come through the denationalization’l dome I live in; break on through to the other side. Well; its been happening; slowly pushing and moving forward going beyond my bounds… over n over; weakening the Denationalization. In addition; Ive been creating a new life outside the dome… I am a new plant that sprouted; a rutabaga ready to dance… and be about the shrub brush; moving from the shrub brush to the beach; catching a ride on a log across the channel to a new life…
.
.
.
I just got a little closer; right up to the edge… And with the commitments Ill keep with my accountability people; ( I believe Im ready); Ill be making some small moving waves out from the beach; a few feet into the water; pushing on that bubble I live in; stretching that thing really far this time. Ill be doing some new things; things that require responsibility and stability and commitment. And it looks like Ive got a plan and Ive prayed about it and Im serious.
.
The anxiety disorder; some forms of this come from PTSD; Long term CPTSD; and thus; Ill be re walking down the past ruins of a childs broken life… and through that; reliving that pain and terror and horror; and come out the other side. I really don’t want to face or feel the humiliation or degradation of my life again where I was under seige and without any control over my life from perpetrators.
.
.
So; I have to keep to my pathways under God; Just keep to the plan and thoroughly learn how to build skills until Im good at them and complete at them; meaning; completing them thoroughly. I think this can happen; I just need to go very slowly through some of it. It triggers the most deepest of wounds… Its hard even talking about it.
.
.
Back to the story;
.
The women at the meetings; Something told me something was wrong with this person when I met them or talked to them for the first time. I had ignored the person for a year I think on purpose; I just saw now need or reason to associate with them…
.
She is very attractive girl; but that doesn’t really mean anything…
.
lately; around her and a bit in the past being around her; I do not like her; I don’t like what I hear and I don’t like the way she treats me; taking me for granted; I can hear it in her tone of voice; as if Im an object she is sizing up; and she is sizing up that object much much lower then what I actually am. Im almost getting the position that she sees me as disposable and weak.
.
The problem is; Im not her object to be doing anything with! Thats the problem; Who cares what she thinks of me; Im ouda here. Meaning; Ill drop her as any contact immediately; and I did and I am.
.
.
.
WHY IS ALL OF THIS IMPORTANT: WHAT IS THE IMPORTANT POINT;
.
The importance of this action to drop this person from my roaster; is; Im worth more then to be treated this way by anyone; its a red flag to get out of there… say goodbye to this person even tho I hardly know them. I don’t know them at all.
.
The way I jumped away from the person and don’t care; Like; its doesn’t matter at all; God will send me to a thousand other people who do respect me; I don’t even need to be under this persons umbrella. Its ridiculous.
.
I don’t need to be part of anything like that from anyone…
.
The important aspect of all this is; Just how fast and complete and independent Ive become to drop anyone from around me that acts up in any manner that may be harmful to me in any way… they are not worth my time…
Im shocked at how far Ive come… I could not be happier. Im not sure Ive ever been like this since childhood…
Ive never felt this good about myself; Not like this. Im feeling needy for God and what God is bringing me; but not this person; Im not needy for them… I have so much more trust in God… They can never associate with me again… I could care less; I think these type of people are hidden sociopath narcissist; They use people; they lie; rope them in; and then put them in a holding pattern throwing only crumbs at them; keep them in their place; However; in my case; I DONT NEED NOBODIES CRUMBS…
.
I just walk away the way I came. Whats interesting is just how little this person ever got to me or close to me… They just never did… I never allowed it and Im off; on my way to new people places and things.
.
I guess what Im trying to say is; Im healing up in that human relational area where Im not co dependent as much anymore on the wrong people… I do have my needs but they come through the universe guiding me down a Universal pathway; and it is definitely going away from people like this women Ive described; and I got no problems with it; Nothing; BY BY….
.
.
So; Im just checking in describing where Im at as I go down my journey with higher power and support as I head toward my goals within the middle of society.
.
All the work Im doing right now concerns the building of confidence… That is the result of all my work; different forms of confidence earned. It has to be earned; it can be no other way; for it is an inside job.
.
Now I work with God on all new people and places and things out ahead of me; Amen.
Our partner
Who is online
Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, INDBzrKm
- Home ‹ Board index ‹ Blogs ‹ OMNICELL's Blog ‹ New story…
- Contact • Advertise on Psychforums • The team • Delete all board cookies • All times are UTC
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS FeedCheck Mental Health Matters
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007, 2014 phpBB Group
Time : 3.352s | 22 Queries | GZIP : Off | Load : 3.59
Time : 3.352s | 22 Queries | GZIP : Off | Load : 3.59