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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1959)
Archives
- August 2025
I have no self esteem with women
   Tue Aug 26, 2025 1:54 am
Helpers development with women
   Mon Aug 25, 2025 6:04 pm
Their has been nothing; Im OK...
   Mon Aug 25, 2025 11:03 am
I never developed outside of television
   Mon Aug 25, 2025 3:06 am
Im scared to get into a relationship
   Sun Aug 24, 2025 10:21 pm
Something is happening; a self actualization…
   Sat Aug 23, 2025 11:37 pm
The next level experience
   Sat Aug 23, 2025 7:11 am
Ive never had a girlfriend…
   Sat Aug 23, 2025 4:57 am
Moving forward….
   Sat Aug 23, 2025 12:44 am
Introvert to extrovert…
   Tue Aug 19, 2025 6:45 pm
Its happened again; next level with women development
   Fri Aug 15, 2025 10:32 pm
It happened again; another connection…
   Fri Aug 15, 2025 4:24 am
First Real connection of my new life developing...
   Fri Aug 15, 2025 1:42 am
Coming back from nervous breakdowns…
   Wed Aug 13, 2025 8:46 pm
aligning with the universe; on dating someone
   Tue Aug 12, 2025 12:32 am
Intimacy problems from the beginning of life
   Mon Aug 11, 2025 3:17 am

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Im scared to get into a relationship

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Aug 24, 2025 10:21 pm

Im talking to other people…
.
Ive noticed something;
.
Im scared to get into a relationship; up close with certain women… its to much for me; Im to scared.
However; Ive noticed something…
Im much closer
.
I mean; like a few feet from girls.. ( women I mean); I have to remember; this is 2025. In my time; we called them girls; adult women; They called us boys…. Adult men…
.
The point is; the gap is closing… Im closer to their frequency; the frequency; the level at which women reside for relationships; the level relationships reside…
.
However; an authentic gap resides… Its an untouched place since childhood. Its a place of a 7 year old.
I never had a mother; so that space; I never entered it. Never… Im guessing or I assume; it was a place for my mother; something my mother would have allowed; intimacy of security and caring; affection; Something I never got… ever…
.
Ive never seen any modern women care; they certainly never cared about me getting this kind of care; so I just dropped away from them… No one cared about me so I dropped out or away….
.
Now; the work Im doing is getting me closer…
.
However; although I can kind of see the first of the new plans; It doesn’t mean Ive experienced anything yet.
I must take it all to God and allow God to take it further. And; I must imagine… Imagine Im close up in that gap between myself and a women; and interacting at that level gap.
.
I can see this gap as what to work on… .\
I can see working on this gap as focus; instead of focusing on a specific women of interest; its better just to take this part of things to God. And work on them.
.
I can see it; its me the small boy look upward to my mother; the connection that never occurred. And Ill work with God on this connection.
.
I can also see my mother betraying me and neglecting me abandoning me… And no one cares… I can see the sadness of it.. and fear…
Never having a mother…
.
This closeness that never occurred; Ill pray about it to God for help with this; and write stories about being with women interacting within this gap…
.
Amen.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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