OMNICELL's Blog

by **OMNICELL** on Wed Aug 13, 2025 8:46 pm

Coming back from nervous breakdowns… And how it affects Dating…
.
So; under God; with magic and help; Im finding myself in a new manifested quantum leap’d; Real!.
.
Im becoming social and popular again with women. I love women; I love them with all my heart. Meaing; Im extremely attracted to them at all times and love being around them obssessivly. I used to spend hours and hours with them doing everything… talking, calling, visiting.. hanging out. ALlot of me thought about them all the time non stop. I loved them; and thought about them all the time and wanted to be round them with them and doing things with them all the time. I just loved it. I love to talk; and I loved to talk to them. Love…
.
So; Im looking forward to learning a life back where I get to be more social and meet interesting people again and spend time with them.
.
Another problem;
I want to meet women that are right on the inside for me; But; Also on the outside. Many times now; Im interacting with women who have the right education but M; Im just not attracted to them completely…
What I want is both; at-least an even amount on both sides; in n out!
.
So; Ill have to pray for this. Im scared because I don’t want to go through being put down. What can I say; I want a women I think is adorable and beautiful physically… For me! And I don’t want any less. I don’t know what they would mean to anyone else but….
.
And Im not around that…
.
Its always like; Theirs so much competition out here… IT seems like the girls that are 4’s in looks are going after guys with 9’s in looks and social status. Unfortunately; those girls will only be good for physical expression with a gent like that; nothing more; and he will leave them after a few months of using them…
Im just kind of throwing that out there. I saw this info on a vid in youtube… So… Take what you like and leave the rest.
.
For myself; So far; Ive never gotten the right combination… Yet. I really need to see it as something positive that Im getting close and I have to believe its possible… Possible to find or have God bring someone beautiful and adorable to me; How I feel about them; And intellectual and smart as well… with down to earth reality… Anyway… Im getting there. I have to learn to believe.
.

.

.
They were a real part of my existence; a thorough complete part of my existence; they were all I thought about. But not everything. And its this part of my life; I lost all. And now Im grieving badly heavy; while God regains my life ability back to me again under his direction and care.
.
I had another several lives developing at the same time; and I had interest in those other things as well. However; When the real breakdowns started; it was all over; No more social; everything became schizophrenic, unreal, and anti personality disordered; Anti social to survive. Al-tho; finally I could no longer survive on my own; I was gone; lost…
.
However; after more neglect abandenment and abuse from the origional people I came from ( meaning; I was being thrown away); My mind left me and then I was not here anymore. No more popularity or anything. Nothing; I became far distant from people.
.
After this mental illness got worse n worse.
.
However; after years of recovery; Now; its getting better for me. However; its slow; and its all work under God…
.
However; God is taking care of me like no other. By being under Gods realm, energy, and sovereign state; Only good things or coming my way continuously. I asked God for a girlfriend. And Im being changed inside and out to do it; God Universe is the one changing the inside of me… Im literally getting flipped upside down; backwards into a new being.
.
Here I am; Im becoming social again; needed in that very special sensitive aware awake spontaneous way; interested way; that combines to be an interesting soul to women…. And its been happeni...

[ Continued ]

by **OMNICELL** on Tue Aug 12, 2025 12:32 am

.
So the goal is to work with God through the whole of this situation; and keep working at it; aligning with the universe; and asking God for help; and keep loving these people; over n over n over; Do this in general through random acts of kindness out in society; As I have been doing… and keep up with the mediation; for meditation aligns me God, universe, inner being; that is the process Im seeking; and write new stories of this energy of HER with me; next to me; My girlfriend as if she is with me right now always; and keep it up. Amen
Keep at it. Do this until it feels normal for her energy to be with me; within me; moving around around me; and above me and below me; as if she lives here; here with me; where her energy is jumping up in down on me; holding me; arms around me; teasing me; laughing with me; sitting next to me and so on. Laying on me; sleeping next to me and so on; walking with me hand n hand; until I will not accept anything less in life then to have a girlfriend with me; why; Because I will not accept any lower standards… And that truly tells the story.
.
NO MORE LOWER STANDARDS; AND THAT TRULY TELLS THE STORY…
.
.
Goal for over coming my mother and fathers intersections toward me when young; For I had no mother and father; these were monsters who set me up to torture me and destroy me… and then I basically was never wanted around them again… It was as if I had never been born… and had no rights or human rules spawn toward me. As if no rules to protect me or treat me like a human being; nothing!
So; problem is broken down into three areas when dealing with others concerning the acquisition of a relationship.
.
1. Interaction with person
2. communication with person
3. follow through into relationship with person; romantic relationship; Girlfriend.
.
Primary goal; To first practice with others; Tell the person first what I think and feel… let them know my direction; who I am; what I want. And then let them decide if Im their cup a tea; its not based on attraction alone; its based on knowledge of whom they are talking to; and then we will go from there. Not able to explain in words who I am; NO GO! Ill be off working with someone else..
.

.
.
So; when practicing with women; To approach them; talk to them; get to know people; go walk around with them; Tell them what Im doing; what Im practicing. And tell them all about myself and practice to start with; and get it all out.
.
Next; after practicing with many telling my story; Go out and make them laugh. And come back and ask them out for coffee or to go feed the ducks or something like that. Go from there.
.
The point is; To them who I am. Its better to tell them who I am first and see who is interested in going and feeding the ducks.
.
Also;
.
Work with God on this goal; write about this goal; this goal of meeting women; talking to them; telling them who I am; and then going to the park and feeding the ducks; and go from there….
.
Start writing about this as an actual goal at this point.
And from feeding the ducks to coffee; and then; learning how to go from there to a further inner intimacy of relationship; inviting them over or something like that; ( Scares me to think Im getting that close to people again); keep writing about it until it feels normal again to do so.
.
I have allot of trauma to work through surrounding all of this… So; let it all happen and deal with the trauma as it shows up; Im able and ready for that I think. Start writing those new stories.
.
.
.
So the goal is to work with God through the whole of this situation; and keep working at it; aligning with the universe; and asking God for help; and keep loving these people; over n over n over; Do this in general through random acts of kindness out in society; As I have been doing… and keep up with the mediation; for meditation aligns me God, universe, inner being; that ...

[ Continued ]

by **OMNICELL** on Mon Aug 11, 2025 3:17 am

Im now talking about strait Intimacy problems within and from the beginning of my life. This is pure subject. Im not talking about relationships concepts anymore. Im talking about strait intimacy problems from the beginning of my life… In a sense; Im exposing pure weakness to these people in these meetings; I can already see many women getting turned off from hearing this kind of thing. O Well. Ill never be in their sights; but I will recover as my higher power wants me to; And my Higher power will bring the right people and places and things when Im aligned for such things through meditation and new written stories concerning my new goals; as if I already have them.
.
Problem or challenge; When talking openly about intimacy problems; it takes me back to 2nd grade; and I have to remember everything and how everything feels and who I really am.. And its hard because of the memory of losses of that time period; its all very hard.
.
My goal is intimacy with other people; connection.
.
Because Ive pin pointed the issue; “ Intimacy” as the problem; and Ive suggested desire and goal or solution in the place of this problem; I want to be intimate with others in many ways within society; meaning friends and girlfriends and later a wife and family; I want to be connected within society; because I have this pin pointed goal; If I continue to work on it daily; It will emerge; it will manifest.
.
When I wanted to learn how to play guitar; I spend years talking about it; what I wanted; what was in the way; the psych challenges and attitudes and personal fears surrounding it; Finally years later; it happened; it took much work and much open ended expression around others; but it worked; I found my pathways under God; Universe helping me; And Smash! I stuck it out long enough to learn how to play the guitar; at least a solid beginning level; and Ive worked with other musicians playing basic acoustic guitar and singing; So….
.
I believe intimacy will be no different to manifest the Guitar playing; Art creation or music creation. They were all challenging and took a long time to manifest; However; its happened. Ive used quantum leaps and laws of attraction… and Think and grow Rich; the book; by Napoleon Hill; And other Laws of attraction coaches.
.
.
So it begins…

by **OMNICELL** on Tue Jul 29, 2025 3:17 pm

Areas of Confidence…
.
Consistency confidence; not dropping out of confidence level over time
.
.

Frequency confidence; To move upward in Frequency and applying confidence; true confidence through transition
.
.

.
Socioeconomic confidence; And the problems that go with it. I get valued at by those in a super market on the poor side of town. I go to the rich side of town and try the same level of open confidence; Suddenly no one is interested…. They have no appreciation…. But Im the exact person as at the store on the poor side of town. Regardless; I have to use frequency confidence; gain to a higher level frequency and then begin to practice down this new pathway until I establish myself in this new cultural aspect of the more wealthier…
.

.

.
Consistency confidence; I was in the store and saw a women in front of me; she was waiting for something; I looked at her she looked at me; she was good looking; and she was looking at me with a very engaging look; she appeared definitely attracted to me. It shocked me; with a sudden bashfulness; I turned away in anger and pulled back and just kept walking; out of hiding and defense. I was trying to hide… it was 2 much; I didn’t have the confidence to go to look at her.
.
I dropped out. Before I saw her; right when I saw her; I had confidence; but after I realized this good looking girl like me; I slammed dropped to the floor and trying to defend myself out of there before I thought I would get hurt or caught staring back. I was so bashful I could not get near her; I ran away…
.
I dropped out.
However; I saw the whole thing and noticed it. If I had kept my confidence and could get control and just keep looking at her and smiling; I could have slowly walked by and said hi. And learn to mingle with this kind of person that was actually attracted to me.
.
This is what I mean when I say I need consistency confidence if I want better relationships and the ability to stop hiding.
.
.
Frequency confidence; I experienced frequency confidence; its all under the watchful eye of God…
.
Ive been practicing “ Random acts of Kindness”; toward many things and people; without them knowing anything…
.
Because of this love for man kind; soon; I started to feel more love for the outside world and its habitat.
.
I found myself on my bicycle; I was riding through a neighborhood; a humble decent neighborhood; it headed to the big store…
.
I prayed and told all the trees I loved them and the bushes and flowers and greenery and planets and grass…
Id been saying hello to anyone I could…
.
Suddenly I saw a women; she attractive and old enough; She had gotten out of a car; she had a dog. She was up into a yard; I saw her; I put out my hand and said; “ Hello”; She completely turned and with a natural smile and natural countenance; openly; she said; Hello! And proceeded to go into her house with a bit a hurry. She was very open with me and relaxed…
.
.
What happened here. Because before this; I was saying hello during the last several weeks to sidewalk people and may even drug addicts on the streets… or people with their dogs walking… and others.. But they were strangers and I was practicing.
.
However; in this case; this is a women with a Dog in a neighborhood in her lawn going into her house. This person and this experience was a much higher frequency; Now Im dealing with attractive real minded women home owners and Im talking to them or saying hello…. . And Im aware of how they responded to me; It was friendly; it was frequency; I was at their frequency because they invited me into their frequency;
How did this happen?
.
I moved from a lower frequency to a higher frequency; from outside sidewalks to neighborhood houses…
.
.
The point of all this; This is what I wanted or wanted to manifest… Im interested in moving inward into society and this is an example of such...

[ Continued ]

by **OMNICELL** on Mon Jul 28, 2025 1:58 am

So; Im getting better… I mean; really better…
I mean; God is in the for front; just as he was as when I was a kid… God is first. And that has happened.
When I go outside. Im doing random acts of Kindness; thats perdy much all my interest outside… dealing with the human race experience in society or culture… I tell all the plants and trees and bushes and grass that I love them; each one every time I go by them.
.
I use a rock and put it out in front of me and its a present that represents someone I know and I pray for them… and leave the rock to God; showing God its a gift to one of his creatures that I have prayed for.
Ill pick up one piece of garbage as a random act of kindness.
Ill create smiling faces in the dirt while Im riding my bike as random act of kindness for those who come after me.
.
Ill write sticky notes that say God loves you go talk to him; with a smiley face and leave them randomly around the town.
.
Ill clean up a 2 foot area on a side walk as a random act of kindness.
.
Ill wave to everyone I see on my bike generally; each person a random act of kindness…
.
And Ill learn other things to do as time goes on. But will all of these things; thats what I do outside.
.
Ill also help old people when I see them and maybe sad person maybe; if it feels right; and so on….
.
So; That is all God; and in the beam of light and power of Gods realm.
.
And from that I gain Gods power.
.
For God is the only power; there is no other power…
.
IT is said in my meetings that I am to help the Alcoholic in the meetings; that is how I stay off alcohol.
.
.
.
NOTE: Ive perdy much told everything there is to tell someone about myself; who I am; Ive told to meetings with mixed groups men and women. Im basically free. I can continue to tell people Im bashful with women and other things but I have…
.
.
NOTE; Im starting to react to women and talk to them in meetings. And Im starting to see a major quantum shift of how Im looked at and treated in the outside world; Many more people are looking at me and responding to me; especially women; its crazy. Its like; suddenly they see me and like me or they are more pleasant around me; I guess thats a merrier of my accessibility for them to me.
.
.
Suddenly Im wanting to go to my synthesizer in my apartment and play my music again in my apartment.
.
I slept a little today; and got up and was inline with playing my synthesizer again. Its been many months.
.
Its a sign Im coming out of the dissociative state Ive been in for a very long time as Ive worked through God things and relational things I was struggling with.
.
.
As I mentioned; at a personal level; Im starting to react to women in my groups who are bossy. This is so very important.
.
Car; Im very close to cars right now. I was thinking of a car I saw for sale; it caught me off guard; but it was not completely aligned with my higher power; I was not able to establish a support system for the car with my higher powers help. And that was an interesting attempt.
.
But I was not; and I need that before I get a car. And God knows I wont budge without it or he wont allow me to.
This could mean; having the money to take care of engine problems when they come up; and a mechanic. But it simply means the maintenance problems. That is not fulfilled yet. Ill have to keep praying for that I guess. Its this other part of the equation concerning cars right now… .
.
FAMILY: Ive been imagining having a wife and children and house and car; Im on the sofa with my wife jumping up n down on me with my children jumping up n down on me as Im looking out the window of my house onto my car out in front; and its growing… My wife starts cooking for us; as my children are playing in front of me and they call to me; DAD; and I pull them over the sofa and play with them; and outside; I see the sprinkler in the front lawn and the flowers and bus...

[ Continued ]

Coming back from nervous breakdowns…

aligning with the universe; on dating someone

Intimacy problems from the beginning of life

Areas of Confidence…

So; Im getting better… I mean; really better…

Who is online