August 2025
July 2025
.
So the goal is to work with God through the whole of this situation; and keep working at it; aligning with the universe; and asking God for help; and keep loving these people; over n over n over; Do this in general through random acts of kindness out in society; As I have been doing… and keep up with the mediation; for meditation aligns me God, universe, inner being; that is the process Im seeking; and write new stories of this energy of HER with me; next to me; My girlfriend as if she is with me right now always; and keep it up. Amen
Keep at it. Do this until it feels normal for her energy to be with me; within me; moving around around me; and above me and below me; as if she lives here; here with me; where her energy is jumping up in down on me; holding me; arms around me; teasing me; laughing with me; sitting next to me and so on. Laying on me; sleeping next to me and so on; walking with me hand n hand; until I will not accept anything less in life then to have a girlfriend with me; why; Because I will not accept any lower standards… And that truly tells the story.
.
NO MORE LOWER STANDARDS; AND THAT TRULY TELLS THE STORY…
.
.
Goal for over coming my mother and fathers intersections toward me when young; For I had no mother and father; these were monsters who set me up to torture me and destroy me… and then I basically was never wanted around them again… It was as if I had never been born… and had no rights or human rules spawn toward me. As if no rules to protect me or treat me like a human being; nothing!
So; problem is broken down into three areas when dealing with others concerning the acquisition of a relationship.
.
1. Interaction with person
2. communication with person
3. follow through into relationship with person; romantic relationship; Girlfriend.
.
Primary goal; To first practice with others; Tell the person first what I think and feel… let them know my direction; who I am; what I want. And then let them decide if Im their cup a tea; its not based on attraction alone; its based on knowledge of whom they are talking to; and then we will go from there. Not able to explain in words who I am; NO GO! Ill be off working with someone else..
.
.
.
So; when practicing with women; To approach them; talk to them; get to know people; go walk around with them; Tell them what Im doing; what Im practicing. And tell them all about myself and practice to start with; and get it all out.
.
Next; after practicing with many telling my story; Go out and make them laugh. And come back and ask them out for coffee or to go feed the ducks or something like that. Go from there.
.
The point is; To them who I am. Its better to tell them who I am first and see who is interested in going and feeding the ducks.
.
Also;
.
Work with God on this goal; write about this goal; this goal of meeting women; talking to them; telling them who I am; and then going to the park and feeding the ducks; and go from there….
.
Start writing about this as an actual goal at this point.
And from feeding the ducks to coffee; and then; learning how to go from there to a further inner intimacy of relationship; inviting them over or something like that; ( Scares me to think Im getting that close to people again); keep writing about it until it feels normal again to do so.
.
I have allot of trauma to work through surrounding all of this… So; let it all happen and deal with the trauma as it shows up; Im able and ready for that I think. Start writing those new stories.
.
.
.
So the goal is to work with God through the whole of this situation; and keep working at it; aligning with the universe; and asking God for help; and keep loving these people; over n over n over; Do this in general through random acts of kindness out in society; As I have been doing… and keep up with the mediation; for meditation aligns me God, universe, inner being; that is the process Im seeking; and write new stories of this energy of HER with me; next to me; My girlfriend as if she is with me right now always; and keep it up. Amen
Keep at it. Do this until it feels normal for her energy to be with me; within me; moving around around me; and above me and below me; as if she lives here; here with me; where her energy is jumping up in down on me; holding me; arms around me; teasing me; laughing with me; sitting next to me and so on. Laying on me; sleeping next to me and so on; walking with me hand n hand; until I will not accept anything less in life then to have a girlfriend with me; why; Because I will not accept any lower standards… And that truly tells the story.
.
NO MORE LOWER STANDARDS; AND THAT TRULY TELLS THE STORY…
.
.
Goal for over coming my mother and fathers intersections toward me when young; For I had no mother and father; these were monsters who set me up to torture me and destroy me… and then I basically was never wanted around them again… It was as if I had never been born… and had no rights or human rules spawn toward me. As if no rules to protect me or treat me like a human being; nothing!
So; problem is broken down into three areas when dealing with others concerning the acquisition of a relationship.
.
1. Interaction with person
2. communication with person
3. follow through into relationship with person; romantic relationship; Girlfriend.
.
Primary goal; To first practice with others; Tell the person first what I think and feel… let them know my direction; who I am; what I want. And then let them decide if Im their cup a tea; its not based on attraction alone; its based on knowledge of whom they are talking to; and then we will go from there. Not able to explain in words who I am; NO GO! Ill be off working with someone else..
.
.
.
So; when practicing with women; To approach them; talk to them; get to know people; go walk around with them; Tell them what Im doing; what Im practicing. And tell them all about myself and practice to start with; and get it all out.
.
Next; after practicing with many telling my story; Go out and make them laugh. And come back and ask them out for coffee or to go feed the ducks or something like that. Go from there.
.
The point is; To them who I am. Its better to tell them who I am first and see who is interested in going and feeding the ducks.
.
Also;
.
Work with God on this goal; write about this goal; this goal of meeting women; talking to them; telling them who I am; and then going to the park and feeding the ducks; and go from there….
.
Start writing about this as an actual goal at this point.
And from feeding the ducks to coffee; and then; learning how to go from there to a further inner intimacy of relationship; inviting them over or something like that; ( Scares me to think Im getting that close to people again); keep writing about it until it feels normal again to do so.
.
I have allot of trauma to work through surrounding all of this… So; let it all happen and deal with the trauma as it shows up; Im able and ready for that I think. Start writing those new stories.
.
.
.
For the little boy in me having to say goodbye to my parents when I never even knew them… And all the dreams associated with them… And moving into Gods realm and this present reality where God can help me.
.
.
learning to believe;
.
Everything is always working out for me…
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And believing all things I want to manifest will manifest for me; Amen.
.
Getting those standards back up high…
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