July 2025
June 2025
Drum stuff; This is the next level of the things Im working on; Getting back my drumming is the next step…
.
Strangely but maybe not; I understand concerning my heart. That does not mean I have a girlfriend. But My heart seems to be aligned and Ive learned; like in the last few hours since the last meeting not to dissociate or that I have to; I could see the deep deep light from the universe; God Jesus; Holy spirit; align within the center of me And hold there… And I did… and it did…
.
And so I get it; I am to hold there; and with that; that attracts at that frequency; So; My heart is back…
.
.
Drumming; This is the next step; It requires that I see myself in a whole new situation; a whole new place.
So; I have to see myself in a whole other quantum leap. A whole other living situation. I have to work with the universe and connect to that new place; its mandatory that I get this part of things figured out. This means I stop being a victim.
.
A women came into the meetings yesterday; I had’nt seen her for many years; she said she remembered me because I was working on drumming then as I was now; she remembered me talking about drumming.
.
I shocked me because it kind of took the value of today out of what I was talking about. I was making strides in drumming right now; a bit more committed then before. She wouldnt have know this.
.
What was important?
.
Many years ago when I was talking about drumming; I was talking about everything being blocked; about 10 things; including drumming; creating and writing music; actually performing a piece of music in the public; singing; learning to memorize a song. Playing music with others… Creating Art work and putting it into a gallery setting of some kind…
Having any kind of defined Purpose in life and Art… And many other things…
.
Since then Ive had a renewed interest in drumming. So; she is hearing about drumming again…
.
However; what she doesn’t know…
.
These things have been accomplished.
.
1. Art creation; the ability; that means finished art and the ability to create it anytime I want….
2. Music creation; the ability to create it any time I want… and finish a piece.
3. Putting a story with words music on a video channel on youtube… \
4. Learning to memorize a song…
5. Art History and Purpose… meaning; I have Purpose; its starts with Art History…
6. Singing in public; and or playing an instrument in public with confidence loudly
7. Playing music with others; I play guitar with another guy; we have practiced and Im singing while doing so…. At his place; that means Ive left my apartment for new surroundings…
.
These are a few of them…
However; One of the main areas or losses of my last life is drumming. This will require a drum room to practice in. And or; playing anywhere I can to practice and ending up playing live.. and appreciating it.
This also requires a journey; a drum journey under God… That means drum pathways; starting from nothing. I call upon the universe for help to unlock pathways and opportunities for me to become drum self actualized. Ultimately it means a practice space to play drums…
.
A practice space to play drums.
.
This might be the biggest challenge Ive ever had… I can feel the fear and the unknown. I have to believe. Thats the first part of the work. Next; is getting rid of all doubt. I have to imagine Im in a practice room looking out the windows and seeing the world go by. With that feeling like Im already there.
Im learning to assume Im already there… and that is the biggest hardest part…
.
But have to do it and learn it. If I want something new… and I do… I want something better for myself.
I want my freedom back…
.
Under God; this is the next challenge or goal. This will take tremendous amounts of work…
.
.
Other challenges; Im old; shoulders have tendentious; when that flairs up; no go; no drumming. So; I have to watch it. Because of shoulder problems; my dreaming dreams are a bit limited. But I can still drum; and practice and thats Good enough for me… So; Next step is a practice room for drumming.
Thats the next step forward…
.
So; this is not easy… Or; it is; but I wont accept it.. Im 2 scared; I shrink up into a small child and hide within a dissociated place…
.
I may have to really focus and work with God on support. And really open up about what Im mad about concerning this; I have allot of resentments and thus; I will do resentment work on this.
.
Because I have bad memories around all of this; it was present when I was being destroyed when young.
.
So; the next thing I learn is; 4th step work on this subject… and to be committed to it. The more I look at it; there is a very deep chasm surrounding this..
.
So; meditation is of the day… and new stories of living somewhere else where I can drum. But I have to believe… And my present thoughts wont allow this. They want to slip into where its comfortable. And thats the problem. I have to see the truth on this; I like pleasure more then I like work. However, ultimately its work that will save the day here…. And so I must learn this. Even talking about me makes me angry. So; Ive got a personality in here that doesn’t want to do any work. Its associated with the time period of sexual abuse… rupturing of the personality. Not safe.
.
However; some things that were hidden are becoming known; like work issues…
.
So; the goal is to break through on several fronts concerning this situation with Drumming.
A. Believing Ill get a practice room
B. Working through resentments surrounding drumming; resentment work using the 4th step in 12 step groups.
C. New stories and assuming Ive already got what I want… Ive already got that practice room; How does it feel. Learning to feel it because it shows up…
D. Work with higher power; This means meditation and writing out pathways from where Im at right now; going from where Im at right now on paper; step by step; to a practice room; Practicing it on paper… allowing myself to literally draw a trail from where Im at to the practice room; imagining the steps in-between and the obstacles.
E. Work with doubt surrounding this goal. I do have techniques for helping to break through doubt surrounding my goals.. Doubt meaning; I don’t believe because I cant see it. Learning to believe Ill get what I want even tho I cant see it out in front of me in reality right now. It means going beyond my senses of sight touch hearing; scent. When looking outward right now using my senses; sight touch hearing scent; I simply see reality here and now. When I go beyond my senses and use my imagination; I can see into the future of what could be. And learn to assume that position in the end of the fantasy. That is how I get somewhere or Im going somewhere… I go there first in my imagination to a point of 3D First person point of vew; POV… This means I envision myself looking outward form wherever Im at as if Im really their… I see whats in front of me.
Focusing on what I want not whats missing; that is the key.
.
All of this takes practice; real practice.
.
So; Is there much more to say…
.
Another few goals surrounding drumming; is working with others performing drumming compositions. Anyway. First things first. Keep drumming keep working toward my intended goals of Drum set in a practice room.
NOTE; There is something about Drum set; and then adding the practice room that turns the whole thing into some kind of fantasy that is hard for me to believe I can have. And thats where the trouble is; Ive been brainwashed at a core level.
.
God does know; By conquering this problem concerning drum room; I conquer much more then just a drum room problem; I literally change the face of my life; I turn into something completely new.
.
And God Knows this; this is why God is pressing against me to get started with it.
.
Just need to keep working on it and working on the pathways that lead to it; to a drum practice room that is sound isolated.
.
This is my goal.. And I have to learn how to go after my goals.. Amen. Wish me luck! Thank You God; Amen.
.
SUPPORT; This is the other crucial area of importance for any goal to materialize…
Our partner
Who is online
Registered users: Bing [Bot], Davidinvef, Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, jaus tail, Majestic-12 [Bot]
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS FeedCheck Mental Health Matters
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007, 2014 phpBB Group
Time : 3.580s | 20 Queries | GZIP : Off | Load : 2.94
Time : 3.580s | 20 Queries | GZIP : Off | Load : 2.94