July 2025
June 2025
A wall exists between me and the outside world where my goals are;
Here are my goals…
.
Wife
Money
House
Car
Talents
Hobbies
Education
Occupation
.
Some narratives exist and have been growing around these goals… So; there is energy movement around the environments of these goals. And movement exists within these goals… They are like plants with water and plant food and sunshine added daily; and there is growth going on and going on around them.
.
PROBLEM;
Dissociation; Anxiety disorder/ C-PTSD PTSD/ AVPD… Agoraphobia and so on… Clear sense of
Dysthymia depression; kind of a lingering long term depression for ever… In addition to defeatism and massive discouragement.
.
A Dissociative wall exists between myself and these goals. Its like Im in 2 different realities… I have been working on all of this for a long time; However; this wall remains and Im separated from whats on the other side.
My job is to get to the other sides of these things…
If I get to the other side of these things; that means I no longer think someone owes me anything and Ill assess my situation and go after it myself; I wont be waiting around for someone else to show up accept God is always with me; Ill continue to pray and work on new narratives for myself…
.
All of these problems keep me home bound and not trying something new; fear fright and horror….. anxiety and hatred and fear… deep terror and horror…
So; triggered PTSD…
.
And being cut off from my childhood and identity.
.
Ill get their…
.
Im making advancements on all fronts. However; this anxiety wall that is controlling me; its way over my head on all fronts; it looks like a giant solid 10 foot thick wall of concrete; it stops me and looms over me with its 25 foot height. Its a solid imposing wall… its a wall of control; I have to ask its permission to do anything… so it has total control over me…
.
So; that would be the wall to over come; and its linked to the past.
.
So; that wall needs to go down and everything associated with it; and all its intimidation…
.
As I said; my goals are on the other side of it…
.
And that is what I have to work on… And Ill keep working on this… as I do I get a little further inroad and I get stronger; This wall will come down at some point… And then Ill be splashed with reality And the reality of; I have my full like ahead of me; but with God help; Ill be earning what I need or want; amen… or how ever God wants to see it;
Ill be getting up to speed at the same frequency of what I want… Amen.
Our partner
Who is online
Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Majestic-12 [Bot]
- Home ‹ Board index ‹ Blogs ‹ OMNICELL's Blog ‹ A wall exists between me and the outside world
- Contact • Advertise on Psychforums • The team • Delete all board cookies • All times are UTC
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS FeedCheck Mental Health Matters
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007, 2014 phpBB Group
Time : 3.057s | 20 Queries | GZIP : Off | Load : 2.76
Time : 3.057s | 20 Queries | GZIP : Off | Load : 2.76