August 2025
July 2025
So; Im getting better… I mean; really better…
I mean; God is in the for front; just as he was as when I was a kid… God is first. And that has happened.
When I go outside. Im doing random acts of Kindness; thats perdy much all my interest outside… dealing with the human race experience in society or culture… I tell all the plants and trees and bushes and grass that I love them; each one every time I go by them.
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I use a rock and put it out in front of me and its a present that represents someone I know and I pray for them… and leave the rock to God; showing God its a gift to one of his creatures that I have prayed for.
Ill pick up one piece of garbage as a random act of kindness.
Ill create smiling faces in the dirt while Im riding my bike as random act of kindness for those who come after me.
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Ill write sticky notes that say God loves you go talk to him; with a smiley face and leave them randomly around the town.
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Ill clean up a 2 foot area on a side walk as a random act of kindness.
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Ill wave to everyone I see on my bike generally; each person a random act of kindness…
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And Ill learn other things to do as time goes on. But will all of these things; thats what I do outside.
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Ill also help old people when I see them and maybe sad person maybe; if it feels right; and so on….
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So; That is all God; and in the beam of light and power of Gods realm.
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And from that I gain Gods power.
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For God is the only power; there is no other power…
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IT is said in my meetings that I am to help the Alcoholic in the meetings; that is how I stay off alcohol.
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NOTE: Ive perdy much told everything there is to tell someone about myself; who I am; Ive told to meetings with mixed groups men and women. Im basically free. I can continue to tell people Im bashful with women and other things but I have…
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NOTE; Im starting to react to women and talk to them in meetings. And Im starting to see a major quantum shift of how Im looked at and treated in the outside world; Many more people are looking at me and responding to me; especially women; its crazy. Its like; suddenly they see me and like me or they are more pleasant around me; I guess thats a merrier of my accessibility for them to me.
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Suddenly Im wanting to go to my synthesizer in my apartment and play my music again in my apartment.
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I slept a little today; and got up and was inline with playing my synthesizer again. Its been many months.
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Its a sign Im coming out of the dissociative state Ive been in for a very long time as Ive worked through God things and relational things I was struggling with.
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As I mentioned; at a personal level; Im starting to react to women in my groups who are bossy. This is so very important.
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Car; Im very close to cars right now. I was thinking of a car I saw for sale; it caught me off guard; but it was not completely aligned with my higher power; I was not able to establish a support system for the car with my higher powers help. And that was an interesting attempt.
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But I was not; and I need that before I get a car. And God knows I wont budge without it or he wont allow me to.
This could mean; having the money to take care of engine problems when they come up; and a mechanic. But it simply means the maintenance problems. That is not fulfilled yet. Ill have to keep praying for that I guess. Its this other part of the equation concerning cars right now… .
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FAMILY: Ive been imagining having a wife and children and house and car; Im on the sofa with my wife jumping up n down on me with my children jumping up n down on me as Im looking out the window of my house onto my car out in front; and its growing… My wife starts cooking for us; as my children are playing in front of me and they call to me; DAD; and I pull them over the sofa and play with them; and outside; I see the sprinkler in the front lawn and the flowers and bushes and its sunny outside and I see the car and the shadows from the sunlight and so forth; the picture grows as Im with my wife and kids in my house… and it continues…
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REALIZATION; I manifest women…..
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And several women I have manifested within my groups; I know I have; They all have something in common. Regardless of their backgrounds; They have 2 things in common; They a beautiful; and exceptionally compatible. Meaning; I could spend all my time up close with them holding hands and walking around or just talking and taking care of them up close; I mean for ever… I can think of several of them that are in my groups right now…
This compatibility is unusual but exactly what God has brought me.
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MY FIRST LOVE: I was spent along time trying to figure out what was up with my first love; Well; the most of the time I thought it was Satan who had brought her; but I was really in touch with God universe and my feelings and I met her.
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One thing she had going for her was her sensitivity; I could sit with her and next to her the whole time; and talk to her about anything for ever… I mean for ever… .
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I had a girl in the meetings; a little psychopath years ago that liked me; I always thought; what was it about her I liked; later it was pointed out to me that I did like her; and that for me it was the compatibility; I could be with her for ever; up close to her and talking to her; she was adorable and she was a little girl to me… And I wanted to be near her and with her up close.
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A women that was playing me a few months ago; She was from one of my fellowships; She did not like me; she was playing me. I told her the first time I met her; I wanted to talk to her; go for a walk and talk about her father… I could see myself talking to her for weeks; just walking around.
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Later; I told her that again; maybe a few days later; I got her number; called her; she texted back; I ask her if she wanted to go feed the ducks; but; she gave some bogus answer and altho Ive seen her a few times; she ignores me as if she never met me. Alas; played; but one thing is for sure. Its the same scenario; I felt so comfortable around her; wanting to get close to up and stay close to her… That is what I have in common with these girls who God sends me…
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Im starting to see this…
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Women are starting to treat me differently. Im starting to see them and look at them and Im seeing more smiling faces at me… its strange; quantum leap…
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Ill be getting my bike soon; a new one…. Its coming…
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Ill pray about my car.. what needs to be done to have one. God did not allow it this time; I did not have my ducks in a row; but it felt right at first emotionally but I needed God to supply more security or no go…. Ill keep praying about it.
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WOMEN; God sends batches of them that are compatible for me. However; sometimes they are married or with a man and are way to young or something or not the right type of person; but those traits of compatibility show up; so much; it stuns me. Maybe they are beautiful women; And every guy wants to spend the night with them; But for me; I want to walk the beach with them and just sit and be close to them; Thats how I know they were sent by God. But more Importantly; I realize; its not just one person; its a whole group of women Ive manifested and they start showing up around me; these traits within these women…
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So; I have to keep working with Gods power; keep meditation and prayer and keep writing stories of what I want non stop. Just keep it up; take over my mind and imagine what I want… and keep doing it everyday until it shows up and I show up for it.
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As Ive said; even my music is coming back now again; Im starting to want to play my keyboard synth again; This is a very good sign….
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WOMEN; So; as for women; the major important issue that God was bringing me in each one; Compatibility; I could stay with each one of them that has come n gone; the ones of importance… Now I get it… Or; I at-least get it enough.
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As of note; For those women 2 young or who have someone; I don’t get involved in their lives; but I do notice the comparability I feel within them. I certainly keep it to myself. Its just something I notice. And campare in general to my over all life experience at that time.
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It means God is present and working on relational things for me…
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Now; the goal is to get my room cleaned up… and get back some help from state assistance that was dropped.
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And Ill keep praying about the car thing. I have to break through to the other side…
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NOTE: Ive noticed; as I go deeper with some people; they are not on my side; and they are not on anyone's side and they are not safe; But I was fooled by them for their fake false smiles.. I thought they were bashful or something; they were not; just manipulators trying to take over. But God is rescuing me and showing me…
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God will get me out of there to the right people. By prying and opening them up a bit and seeing the real truth; God is behind that prying; he is trying to wake me up as Ive moved to the next quantum leap…
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Talking to women; Some of the women Im opening up to and practicing with very cautiously who have this compatibility ability; I don’t even think they are safe; but I will work with God and respond to them and practice with them expecting nothing.
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I will continue to do random acts of kindness and pray for others and work with Gods power to slowly come out of it; the doomed state I was pushed into when young.
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God is now taking over outside… Thank God… Amen.
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