July 2025
June 2025
Ive made advances in Relationships related issues and WORK related issues; Ill explain.
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WORK RELATED ISSUES:
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So; concerning music; The universe and groups have helped me understand that; As I move ever forward toward answers; The problem with music has been a lack of participation; Ill explain;
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The problem with song writing is simply writing songs and finishing them; this takes involvement and interactions. producing the music takes work; advertising the music takes work. Marketing the music takes work. recording the music takes work; practicing the music takes work; Performing the music takes work... And their it is; an answer; the real answer is being able to go down the pathway far enough for these frequencies to be realized. The ability to participate in my own recovery process is what Im talking about or my Artistic process.
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Ive not been able to do any work with anything.... So; This will get stronger as long as I work on it daily. We will see where all of this leads. This brings up my childhood so fIll be switching back n forth from present to childhood.
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RELATIONSHIPS;
Im beginning to see a new process that is unfolding;
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So; As I write dialogs about old girlfriends; Im writing both parts on paper; basically I call them on the phone in the story; set a time where I can meet them at their house; we sit outside on the concrete steps or in the backyard; I grab their hands pray for them or with them; and then I begin to talk to them about all the things Ive always wanted to talk to them about... Their role is usually to say; " OK Omnicell".
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So; something interesting is happening. Let me say first; the universe is behind all of this.
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So; Im at this point where during the dialog on paper or in my imagination; I began to feel a kind of equality with the other person; as if we had come to an agreement; Im going down one path; she is going down another; and the 2 shall never meet; so; This is a good time to sum everything up and split or go are own ways.. its like OK we talked; and we are going are own ways now; as equals; we tried to make things work; it came to a headerlock...I mean; we both have our views of what we want and each is different so. each is the same; either way Im able to look the person in the eyes and let them know its time to move on... kind of; through agreements because their are no other choices; we both liked each other and this cant become anything anymore; Kind of like a break up; I mean; acknowledging it; both accepting we tried; and we are now moving on. That kind of thing; and that sounds so good.
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NOTE; or I liked her and she never liked me; she was lying and Im moving on; but that is to much for me...
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The problem is; allot of the relationships I had were about getting away from my mother and father; I went to these new relationships for the purpose of moving on from my mother and father; I wasnt wanted by them.
The main problem is; these relationships never lasted or things happened and I walked away; and never finished anything; never saw the person again; in some case; I was permanently destroyed by them; never seeing them ever again.
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In some cases; the girl(women) involved; dist me on purpose; I had been played and set up and dumped just for that purpose; and I was destroyed; So; as I heal; Ive got many relationships from my childhood and relatives gone from that period undone; nothing ever resolved. So; now that I might be able to fix something; my life; If I fix a relationship from the past; its only part of my past done with; Ive 6 more related relationships that need to be looked at; anyway; its a giant jar of insecurity and pain Im dealing with.
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This does not fix everything; that is the problem...
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NOTE: Ill pray for that time period; that GOd Universe create and bring the right people for my development so I can get on my own and live a life... Ill need lots of new people and places and things. Im seeing I was just being played by people who I thought I could trust... I was devastated by it.
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Im getting closer; I want to resolve the past; its all stuck in a kind of PTSD situation. Memories just stuck; a whole life stuck or stolen...
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Or get some relief so I can live now; it was all stolen from me; all of it; if I can resolve some of it; that would be nice... feel it again and move on... in safe places... Im trying.
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NOTE: In the present; I have to pray for new people and places and things... I need help from and with the right people; not the wrong. So; Ill pray to the universe for help!
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