Its important to post; don't have allot of report on. Accept; slowly growing forward. Working through things. Lots of gaps I'm working on; working through. Need support as I work through them to my goals.
The key is to keep putting pressure on the universe concerning my goals...
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I have gaps to work on; this I know.
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I have no character to function or work through things; face things; I have character flaws. The character flaws are in the place of deficits within my personality and character; Character Deficiency
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What Im looking to do; set goals; work with others; work through them on a daily basis; those that require skills from confidence and experience.
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Why its so hard; being slaughtered from rejection. However, being out in the real world; I didnt know anyone owes me anything; thus; why the expectations; well; to make up for my lack of character; where I have nothing but character flaws.
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I can work with the universe to set me on a course to learn new things; get some character for the journeys I want...
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I have to learn that no one owes me anything regardless. SO; its about work and keeping at things until they are learned; I need support to continue down this direction. And Ive got some support.
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Im getting really close that within my imagination Im starting into the processes concerning looking at the subjects of relationships and activities; I wouldn't call them true work situations. It means Im getting closer to getting up to speed working through immaturity.
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Im learning more skills on the piano. That's what I wanted to learn years ago...
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So; a few more scales; that kind of thing; but its real and Im at that frequency And that's where I wanted to be long ago.
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I would say house frequency; middle class house frequency seems to be showing up with no dissidence.
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Really; what Im trying to say; my mind is back in society again at its level. That's what appears to be happening( However; there are lots of gaps). Not completely but enough to write about strange things happening; where their once occurred bleak chance of a future... Where I felt I was out classed for a real life; suddenly those things that use to scare me; Ill take chances with. Im back up to frequency on some things; but with lots of dissociation.
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1 1/2 years ago I asked out a mi ddle class women... I could not do that for many many years... I just could not; ( I was not present). As my recovery process improved and I improved I started having more confidence to do things at these higher levels; (Always listening to the universe).
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I felt a bit of it for a truck the last few days; but not enough to attract the right situation for a vehicle. That means a bit of height of frequency; moving a bit forward... into reality.. Just a bit... Ill keep working on it. Keep working on the universe so I can believe again. Have to be present and with dissociative disorder Im not all here. However, I honestly think I may be doing better then some!
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I have to understand that Im working toward a new way of thinking. and from that point; into new success; through practice... Its all about practice and support...
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I have massive narcissistic attitudes and entitlement issues surrounding these things; Huge EGO! Imbalanced insane levels of unrealistic EGO... Its the kind of thing where; IF my ego gets hurt Ill DIE! Kind of thing. So; its that kind of thing I have to work myself through; with the help of others...
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THE NUMBERS;
IF I participate Im going to get better at anything I want or want to do. I have to go out and learn this and learn that no one owes me anything; nothing. Im in pain over this right now; with some experience Ill get tougher I think...