Something strange happened. Its a culmination of my recovery work.
.
I was in a meeting; or was i?
.
I had to write positive stories today before I went to the agencies that fund me. They were complaining about lost money. Meaning; I was spending money I was not suppose to have and they wanted to know where it came from.
This was a very hard day. I got positive and really psyched myself up; praying on my knees and writing new stories of success....
.
So finally when it was time to go; I called a friend and he drove me. It went OKE. I then backed tracked home and got more information for them; went back and they were more pleased at my acceptance to show up and work for myself to solve a problem. I had to write some things up.
.
.
Im not out of the woods yet; but Ill write stories like I am.
.
.
As I rode my bike or something; I thought came to me.. I thought; What if when in a relationship I would have prayed for me and the other person to have a good experience. I stopped and thought; Ive never done that. Ive never turned to God in a situation like that with another and prayed that me and the other person are going to have a great relationship and things are working for us.. and I want things to work for us right now.
.
I tried this on a teller at the bank today. At the end of the conversation; I was sitting down with her; She started laughing over something I said or did. it was great and so open and I was much more present as I told myself covertly in my imagination; The teller and i'z connection is working out and I want it to work; i want this relationship to work; So I practiced it at the bank. And at the end; the teller or officer at the bank was laughing. I mean; it was success...
.
.
Ive mentioned my number one goal is a girlfriend; But why? Because it means IM BACK. I have some control over my thinking; enough to change my thinking process to something positive and successful. WHat happened with the bank teller today was; SUCCESS... I was practicing success based thinking processes; I was praying meditation and writing new stories as if theyve already happened; positive stories; positive outcomes. Connection; In the process; the universe slipped in new thinking to help me out...
.
I have to keep at it; learn to write success stories for myself.
.
I was talking in a meeting today about Abraham Lincoln; President of the United States. How he considered himself a kind of defeated lost loser when he was young; He never had success at anything.
In my opinion; He did not change his thinking after becoming a president; He did not get into office and then tell himself; "Im going to think like a president as I go along"; Abraham Lincoln had to think like a president before he ever made it to office; He had to train himself to think like a president long before he ever took that career path. If becoming a leader was his biggest desire in his heart then he had to develop that desire in his heart; so he had to develop his thinking-heart first; and he used his mind and the universe GOD to do so! At some point he began to think like a president; and when that happened He began to attract a presidency. He had to become president first in his mind and heart before a presidential appointment suddenly showed up in his reality. He did this through hard work sacrifice and dedication; visualization; But not dedication to becoming a president?; He did not strive to become a president first; First he was driven to change his thinking; its an inside job; Dedication to learning how to think and grow rich; once that was practiced and mastered; then he used those concepts focused toward thinking like the kind of person he wanted to become. His brain was trained for success first before he set out for success; He did not start out thinking his away into a new life; Instead; he WORKED his way into a new way of thinking; Once this happened; he focused on who he wanted to be; He began to train himself on how the ( NEW HIM) would see the world; How a person with a new mind would think. Once his thinking changed into the kind of person he wanted to be when he grew up; He began to attract what he thought about. Did he find the presidency or did the presidency find him? Once he started to believe he was a president; did people began to show up around him as followers and the rest is history?
.
If I had been Abraham Lincoln; I would have been writing stories with happy wonderful connective energies and endings concerning what would make me feel good.. I would write about being a leader and how wonderful a job I was doing and how wonderful it felt to be connected to the world and help everyone; and I would go into detail about it and all the feelings I got from it. I would write stories all day long about how Im a success at it... I would do this until I believed I was a success at it... And anyone that wants to become something different or something new; everyone of them must decide if this hard work and toil is worth the outcome. The work level is long and steep...
.
.
When Im positive and I believe first and I spend the long long lonely hours of training myself to believe; Suddenly I begin to change and interact with my environment differently. Suddenly the environments I find myself in are different; they are more inline with my new thinking; my inner desires...
.
In the past; I would never attempt new thinking processes without a loving family backing me up everyday. So; Maybe thats what I should ask God for. Start meditation... Start writing stories about support for the things I want to do.
.
I remember a movie of a guy wanting to climb mt Everest; It was depicted from the 1930's. Its about a guy who had a dream. He had to walk/talk investors to get money; he had to set up all kinds of positions for a small village at the base of mt Everest for him to succeed at climbing; It took a base of 250 people playing different roles in this village for him and one other guy to climb a mountain. No way things of success can be done alone; it takes a team; it takes a village. I can start praying for that village to materialize. I can start writing stories about that village; positive feeling stories. I can ask God to teach me how to think and grow rich like these guys who learn how to have success; That's what I did. I use allot of techniques from the rich and wealthy; How they got rich; I use their techniques on my mental illness problems; on how to reinstate my ability into new relationships; and even for a little money. Used success based thinking process to resurrect my music and Art abilities so I can participate everyday with them. Ive learned new hobbies that are important to me.
.
Coming from the wrong family;
One of the greatest gifts Im looking for is that feeling that Im so loved by God and supported by man that I feel powerful secure and successful on the track ( that feeling of being taken care of). And this means I can learn a new way of thinking and practice learning it without worrying about what kind of family I came from. I dont even need them anymore. For my older brother; I wish him the best.
I will say its all been replaced through years of hard work in the recovery system and with God/Universal/higher power/ Sunny Jesus/ Holy Spiritus/Source-orange-juice!
.
My life has filled in; and continues to do so. Its a kind of junior fill in; its not man level yet; Im slowly learning as I wake up.
.
ITS HARD WORK;
I have to believe; or what I want wont show up. So; This is possible; lots of strait hard work. if I recite by writing on paper 10 thousand times that I believe something and its already here; It might just show up. Im training myself to sacrifice to change my thinking; and that is good... Do it everyday until it becomes an obsession to be obsessed about learning the education of success; the ancient ways of attracting what I want; How to use the universe with positive feeling attraction and imagination... How to become the frequency of a thing I want. How to write with feeling as if its right in front of me...
.
It takes allot of work to change my attitude about working for things I cant see yet. As I work for a thing; my attitude changes and strengthens; my character to participate; ( But; not without support); I go to several support groups A DAY! If I want that ability; I must reach out on my knees if I can with my head down on the ground numerous times a day screaming out to God to bring me the ability to spend half my day in support and the other half creating something with my life. I ask God to send the right teachers to teach me the ancient ways of attracting; and attracting success and the understanding to be educated in success. TO THINK AND GROW RICH!
.
Schools do not teach success; they teach information and how to manipulate it. Success is something I can reach and seek within the worlds teachings and become educated... I am into the idea of becoming educated in success...
.
Its hard work having a dream from a background where Ive been striped of everything I ever believed in. Now I have to trust God and learn to believe again; this is scary and not easy. I must have support groups and higher power...