July 2025
June 2025
Phase 4 #2
SO it begins
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Its about First Love; and what to do now with music and art creation; whats the next step; Basically Im aware of who I was back in those days and I realize; so that means Im waking up... Im waking up to waking up and once awaken; I start to respond to what happened.
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First love; She was the helper I asked God for.. She was the wife I asked God for. I did not follow through…
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In the present;
What now?
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Ive worked through music and art; they both belong to me now; again.. I am hungry for both and they are at ground level; If I want to pursue them; I can. Its still hard tho; hard work; but hard work has never really been the problem( off course its been a problem)… Commitment to an outside world that slaughtered me; This is a real problem of fear fright and terror!
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So; Today; I ask God to take me where Im at; ( an 8 year old in a box thats never left the box); asking God for a journey outside the box; back out into the outer world were life lives; where girlfriends and cars exist; where music is played for audiences… Where work is produced and created; where people become monumentally wealthy. Where Trains await the travel to new cities and experiences.
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Im asking God to help me surrender to Gods will to the outside world… To live and experience the outer world with the helpers the helper-communion-wife. God brings her to me.
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So; Im starting over; this time manifesting through being on my knees in prayer and writing new stories about my new life and meditation ( this is one of the hardest things; it just is)( it looks easy; it aint!); Telling God to open up ground level; the ground of crawlers; so mayI crawl under the fence to the other side of life.
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Its a time of manifestation practice; it has finally shown up. I am definitely at Phase 4.
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My standards; the idea of standards moving slowly upward to the level of the world outside; a world of production and relationships and purpose…. AND MONEY!!!!!!!!!!! YES! ( Im still in a dream dissociated; I have to worked for it yet; I worked and awareness was brought to me; this does not mean Ive stepped outside; but I have been walking around inside the cage lights).
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I can feel it; slowly heading back to normal regular acceptable life where I expect the universe to provide a wife best friend helper and car and money and train rides….
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And humbly working towards creation of things; music art! I don’t know; lots of snags have been in those areas; I have lots to work out in those areas; work with God on all things; new thoughts; new areas.
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I think all of this is about slowly moving up the ladder back to sanity levels of living; middle class acceptable levels of living; thats what Im going to allow the Universe to do for me…
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I have goals.
1. Women
2. music creation
3. Art creation
4. Money
5. train rides….
6. Car? What ever the universe wants for me
7. Manifestation maturity and learning. Laws of attraction…
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Im trying to wake up; Im like a teenager… Im aware of the concept of living; (Im back?); Im starting to see; Im starting to myself and Im starting to see myself of where I was and what was really happening…
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Im starting to see what happened with my First Love…
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At meetings; even mens meeting; are getting strange; Im around monsters in meetings; and Im talking about monsters….. So; Im not so liked by the rug Jackals.
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