July 2025
June 2025
Phase 3 #2
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What is the goal of #2
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The goal is to assess where Im at with my First Love; keep working on neutralizing her memories out of my system. The universe is manifesting answers for this set of problems; She continues to get neutralized and broken apart in my mind soul and nervous system. God is proud of me for staying true to God and getting rid of her… The universe is proud of me for getting rid of her…
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Ive been to many hardcore 12 step meetings… Ive dealt and watch both men and women, snake; manipulate; predatorize and take advantage of each other; I watch it all the time; I have the hate applied to me all the time at different times… like everyone else in those places; they are not easy rooms at the more hardcore levels.
However, its given me first hand knowledge of watching how the opposite sex monopolize on one n other. And Ive watched how they do this to me… Its using done out of contempt as someone thinks their better or superior to one another… Thus; Ive gotten a good grounding on how people take advantage of others; Ive sat back and just watched.
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Ive watched a whole rooms full of psychopaths and sociopaths feed on each other… So Ive learned allot about the tricks these monsters use against other or against simps to stupid to understand their getting manipulated. Its interesting to watch them feed… For the feeding turns them on more then the possibility of sex; its the violent control; that theyve fooled someone completely; that they are getting away with it…
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The point is; I can see how the first girl I loved; I can see how the techniques were used against me; it mattered not that I was innocent or naive and had no idea what I was walking into. For those with no conscious could care less about the condition of the victim after they are done with them.
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So; I have lots of information given to my by the universe of what this person did to me and how and why… I guess the “Why” part stands out to me as I writing this; Why did my first love do what she did. Thats where I have the hurt and the work.
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WHY… Did my First Love do what she did to me?
I would say this is the next level of awareness Im digging into or will dig into…
And Ill write up many things today in private blogs about this part of the subject and fool around with the idea and thoroughly work through this concept and take a good look at it; not that I havent worked this idea many times; but I have a new enthusiasm about it. Either way; I was tricked by a trixter… and there it is; that is all it ever is.. and the pain I feel that goes with it; and thus; thats what Im getting over.
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One important aspect… The goal is to get rid of her to God takes over as my primary focus; because I was never suppose to have any other primary focus in the first place. She; this girl; the one I loved; turned out to be satanic in nature; pure evil; demonic; Certainly God is looking down on me wondering why I would have more interest in this satanic person who is consumed by the devil by choice; instead of God… Why am I worshiping a satanic women instead of God; And their it is; Why am I making this evil my God…. Why am I worshiping an evil person Instead of God. I bowed down to this girl and worshiped her as my savior. And God wants to know why I would confuse such folly and death with wisdom… And thus; this is a good question.
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The goal is to put all remorseless antics to the side and go back to God and the Universe. God must come first as my focus and then all other things follow.
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I got easily manipulated off the path by a Jezebel, witch, seductress, Jackal…. They all lead to death. The first goal of this form of demon is to get my interest; get it off of God and on to them; they must work to seduce or break me of my interest in God. They want to lure me to my death… its out of hatred for God and for me and my inner child. For my innocent inner child is connected to the universe and they want it dead…
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They are arrogant and have no conscious…
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How easy was it for them to manipulate me. The Bible tells me to beware of them for they have killed many strong men… And they do so easily.
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I was easily manipulated; so easily I had no chance… nothing! I was kind and bold to take an interest in this person in the first place; and such arrogance on my part brought my downfall. I was courting death when I approached this Witch.
Its kind of simple; “Stop approaching Witches Omnicell!”
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I noticed one thing the Witch noticed I did not; my focus and interest become more on her then on God…
The first thing she had to do was convince me she was from God and not satan; And she did so easily; it took almost no work for her to seduce me For I was not prepared nor was I under the understanding this was a bad person… And she easily made it so… I was fooled completely; it hardly took any work on her part. And I kept coming back thinking I had made a friend; a nice friend; So; she adapted and played the role of a nice friend and smoothly acted out the part; every minor role of the part; all of it. I was under the complete belief she was someone she was not. I did not see the demonic nature of who this really was; I Was completely fooled from the start… I had 100% no knowledge of what was going on. And this will continue until my nervous system is raped and ruptured and Im thrown away. I had no defenses up because I never knew I needed any… I had no idea what kind of deplorable scum I was dealing with.. It never occurred to me… The goal of this monster was to cause my death; that is always the goal of a Jezebel Witch against the decent people of their society. They consider themselves superior to others and God simply does not exist to this scum…
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The first concept with God is; Getting God back as the main focus… Thats all God is working on with me… Im not the first to be innocent and ambushed by an enemy…. I let instant pleasure and the seeking of innocent love and friendship; the idea I might be loved by someone; This took my sight off of God and thus I Was destroyed…
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One of the main points of this situation is; What happened before it happened. This girl role played me; acted out the innocent person when I first met her; this is a simple friend tactic to get ones trust and feel things out before they start larger conning of the victim…
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Its hard when all I was was a victim… I was nothing more. Something playing this role turning me into anything I thought I wanted to be; as if they were completely on my side totally; that is the manipulation… thats where they play my narcissistic fantasies; they play into my ego and when they are intertwined within it; thats when they break everything and pull the rug out on me…
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Im watching such things right now in the meetings I attend; I can see it go on several times a day. And if I sit to close to the wrong people; they will try to demoralize me publicly the same…
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A demonic witch of this nature is waiting; shes waiting for my defenses to drop and the innocent part of me to show and come out; and thats when the acting starts; she immediately merroir's me. She is at my level… And thus the sensitive inner child of innocence exposed within me and she matches this… and shows her innocent side. But understand she is contriving to do this; planning it; watching it… and setting it up; moment by moment by moment… its all contrived and fake; In a sense; she is leading me on. She is literally leading me on… Leading me to my death is what she is doing… it is all fake…
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My goal is to look more at these continues moments I remember of this criminal; and break everything down until I have a good sense of what happened here… And break down why I felt so important.
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I felt important that she liked me or gave me attention; I felt like I was succeeding on my own to build relationships outside the house I lived in.
The universe is making me aware that she knew this the whole time.. She planned this the whole time for any victim that would come near her that thought they had a chance with her when they did not!
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I did not know I didn’t have a chance with her. I never thought about it… In fact; much of the evil that this person was; I did not think about before… I did not expect to walk into it like I did. I thought I was safe. Looking back that is kind of insane… very insane… of course I was mentally ill and broken and desperate for friends..
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They want my focus off of God on to them so they can kill and murder..
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I must remember and one must remember; this is a murder’r and thats all this is.. And this murder’r has one intent; it is to murder…
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And I must find out why I was attracted to a murder’r and why I was so naive to walk up into the nest of a murder’r.
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So; Ive got lots to write about.
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Regardless; God is taking care of me as I put the focus back on God…
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I also noticed that during the times I was around her; I gave her plenty of chances to bow down to God; in a sense; humble herself to God; or the idea of innocence and such things. As I remember; she never took that rout. And I was confused; instead she was disrespectful… and that confused me. Why was she disrespectful… it happened every time I was at her house; it wasnt personal. It was more toward Gods kingdom… it was slight but I picked it up. It was confusing to me. The whole thing became murky and confusing to me. I didn’t understand. I was a nice person who was looking for a nice person. She played the role of a nice person… I don’t understand… And that is what Im going to dissect completely.
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This type of evil also wants to pull me away from God suggesting God does not love me anymore; and this is done through manipulation; its a very slight subtle maneuvering and was very effective… its very confusing… One must remember; its all fake… every movement. This was no friend of mine. This was the devil… a demonic force 100% that I had walked into… I can feel it; and thats part of the manipulation; that I thought I was so bold and strong that I could walk into a realm and subdue this person; this must mean I am who I thought I am; I am the tiger… or Hercules and she played this right from the start. This is where the con starts… And it starts with the idea I thought I was somebody. Thats where they hook ya. Right from the start… Ego… I let my guard down….
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So; Ill have to look at that; having my guard down right when I meet someone. I also had the idea I was going into someone's house that was an upstanding nice person. I got this from my childhood; they will also play this into the ground…
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The key here is that its all a game for them; there is no more purpose behind it; its a thrill kill for them; nothing more; I am a stranger and remain a stranger who they are playing; thats all it is… nothing else. I am manipulated the moment I enter their house and before… For it is the wrong house to enter.
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And God is trying to wake me up to this fact that I cant go to the wrong houses; if I do this is whats going to happen….
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So; Im slowly waking up TO God and going back to Gods kingdom and realm…
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“The saving of the Witch”; This is the other side of it; this is also what is played by this perpetrator…. I am being slowly set up to see this Witch as a victim just as I have the understanding of a victim; She will also falsify the process of needing a safe person she can trust. She will play all of these roles in order to subdue my defenses to bring them down so she can start the more intense grooming process to have me destroyed…
These are murder’rs and rapists; and in this case; she wants to destroy my trust and see me scared and confused and frightened and in a state of wanting to run away in panic with no place to go. They want to see the injured animal and then for kicks destroy the animal they have caused injury to….
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My denial is why I didn’t accept or want to see the serial killer in this person… Why? And I will talk about this next; for I kept going up after her; and after the point. I Was simply naive and never saw it… I was 100% innocent and in the dark… until it was to late…
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My denial is why I didn’t accept or want to see the serial killer in this person… Why?
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Secretly I was making her out to be the love of my life I never had and always wanted and I was not going to be told later I Was in the wrong and this was never that person but instead this was a person fooling me who had no interest in me and that I meant nothing to them and they were just playing me like a string given to a cat; a cat n mouse game was all this was; Yes; its all this was. Nothing more…
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This was the privileged vs the un privileged; thats all this was. It was the murdering of the poor…
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The goal is to get her out of my system completely and turn back to God. For I was fooled and it was easy for her to do so. And I am made at God about this…
I thought I had a personal relationship with this person; only to find I had to accept there was no personal person their; only an un marked evil identity. Nothing more… Someone that thought they could play someone into the ground.
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Im getting it; but I have to do more work on this to finally accept it and let it go and that will take some time. I don’t like the idea I have to let her Go and focus on God. For she was the light that came to me. A false light; I never saw.
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The evil person will play the small child within me; the child that is so young they only see a light; and when they see the light they go toward it… and its that simple. That is what the evil monstrosity is looking for; that is the innocent key they want to manipulate at; that level; because they know they have the person if they can get into them and get that innocent childs trust or fool that innocent child; and their it is….
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And thats what happened and it happened by preparations before this. They prepare before this for the acting job; for the night at the acting guild; its all an acting job; thats all it is…
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So; I was a poor person who fell for it! And Ill have to examine this as well; it makes me mad I was duped but I will have to take a look at it; its an age old manipulation. Its like the pretty girl in the dress who attracts a man; he comes into their house; and she is friendly and polite and then three guys come out from other rooms kill the guy and rob him. And what do I have; criminals… and their it is. And Iw as criminalized and I have to look at my role in going into the house and being seduced by basic means…
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These types manipulate people; thats all they do… they have no concious; nothing… So; I have to look at that.. and really open it up and look at it… thats all it was; and it makes me mad that I end up dealing with a crook… So; Ill have to take it to God…
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Im getting somewhere but my ego has to go …..
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It was all a play acting job… thats all it is….
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SO; I imagine Im in a interrogator room and Im a detective; and you lisa are being interviewed on what you did to me. And Im willing to sit down and talk to you and you to me about what happened here.
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And the first shame I feel is that I started all of this… and I must go back to where I came from. And look at all of that.
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For the future;
I first start with God; and I did not do that before; I was in strange new places with creatures I knew nothing about and I was not protected. I was not fishing in known waters. And I did not understand that the rest of the world was filled with monsters that raped murder and kill. I did not know.. I thought for some reason I was reasonably safe; I was not. I sent out frequencies for a perfect fit; the right people; but what showed up were psychopaths. Later after being destroyed; I was so freaked out that my energy; gone strait to psychopaths or they found me; I did not know what to do; my natural energy was not attracting nice people; it was being hi jacked by sociopaths and they showed up instead and then faked me out. Evil was showing up. Now; I have to learn to be more careful and do more checking. And be with a group of people; not alone. And have support and God. I was really freaked out by attracting psychopaths to my door or to find myself at their door naturally; I then thought; Shes for me; Thats the one; Only to find out she is another psychopath. I was over defeated and freaked out and scared to death; I just wanted to hide in my room for the rest of my life; I was made so sick to my stomach… and it was much worse then this; violating is what it was.
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I guess in any fish bowl there are predators; and they swim and they wait until they find a weak fish to attack… Or they disguise themselves as God and pretend to be safe and friendly; When an innocent person shows up; they get that persons trust and then attack mercilessly.
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Now:
I let God bring me the right people under God that are fit for me; my situation. And are helpers; and thus; after speaking with them; enough times and feeling satisfied; I will do this with God.. be under Gods care and work through; down my lane with God…
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If I attract bad people; they are in the neighborhood; Ill watch out for them and if they do get past my walls; Ill send them on their way; it happens… This is the adult world…
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Everything seems to be working out…
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So; Ive got then an answer for re establishing myself in relationships. I know the past; what happened. I understand I live in the Adult land; and many monsters and what ever else are out here and they clip into a persons frequency and show up like sharks or predators. So; they need to be weeded out of the mix and sent on their way.
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I have answers coming from God concerning music creation. Ive got others showing up that are qualified and want to help… So; I wont say anymore about that accept Im working on learning how to take action under God. And Ill pray about what needs to be done…
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