Now; Im faced with remembering the sexual abuser come into my space and control me any time they wanted; I could not fight back...
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I cant describe what that means; I could not fight back; it was like someone who had full rain over my body or my life; Like I was a captive...
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So; I have to see myself pushing back and defending myself for each encounter; Ill have to work with GOd on this.
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Ive become free on many other areas now; at least on a basic level of struggling freedom. Now; I need to be free of this force field that keeps me in constant freeze mode. Its like I cant grow beyond it; beyond the horror and fear and humiliation... The disgust...
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So; Ill work with the universe on this...