July 2025
June 2025
Ultimately starting over with no past;…..
So; I don’t know how to over come this; Ill be talking to God about this; this is a corner stone of the problems and Ill just start talking to God about them.
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Im working on imagining Jesus is with me as a childhood in my childhood home; and one week before I get thrown away; Jesus and God Universe and angels are all with me in my bed room as the door opens; walking with me down the hallway to the stairs to the pathway next to the living room; and slowly; the front door opens; out the front door. I walk down the walkway to the curb; a giant RV is waiting; its Jesus’s RV… And I get in with God; And the Angels are with me and God is with me and Jesus of Nazareth is with me; We are all together; God is looking out for me. I am being surrounded by Gods Angels. I am being brought to a safe place.. I am being taken care of by the universe…
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I have to feel God is with me. That is my problem; trusting God… However; God Universe put this idea into my head; that I work on the idea God is with me before I get pulled out of my home ( when a child) so I can prepare for it when it happens. Im little; 9 years old.
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So; Im listening; I have many many many stories like this… I have to work through with God… amen.
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I can meditate and write new narratives in general; However; I have to work with God to trust God again. Thats the primary issue right now.
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NOTE: My brain hurts; my mind hurts from all the neglect when young; being alone with no answers; all alone with no life answers; just being trapped in isolation for ever.
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So; I dumped a bunch of stuff at the morning meeting today with some guys.. It was like; one step closer to middle classism.
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Its like Im going from the streets back to the backyard of a middle class house; (Within my imagination);
However; Im starting to change; My frequency is growing. Its showing signs of coming back to middle classism. As if I came from a house or family when I was a child.
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This means im healing? It means Im growing back into a neighborhood persona about. Im turning into a regular person again.. from a regular neighborhood; Not a lost street person…
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Im watching this happen day by day in amazement. This is all from the Universe; From God…
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NOTE: My relationship with God has to connect at a deeper level; it must…
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I will say this; The foundations that have created this ability; did not come from anyone from my past; it came strictly from my work with the universe; also success based thinking process… And from the support from 12 step groups. However; I had years of counseling concerning mental illness.
Also support from sites like this one where Ive writing almost 2 thousand blogs… and sponsors and other support people.
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I have no history before this… my regional experience on earth; I was stripped of my life and destroyed; so; nothing came from that…
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Everything that is happening right now; is everything I could have dreamed of; However; Ive been purposely dreaming of it and doing the work that It might just show up in my imagination to a point that I would become this middle class neighborhood guy again; altho I had no idea what I was doing; I mean; I was following orders… So; I seem to be changing on the inside into this new’r healing person… I guess.. This has to do with how I feel. It gives me great relief. I don’t have a house or car or boat; but for me; that is not the point; the point is; how; within my condition of legal mental disability this happened.
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I have along way to go because I have to earn all of it God; that means staying teachable with God down my God pathway. Nothing is free here…!~ In the sens e of my identity.. and where I feel I fit in.
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(In my imagination)
Im naturally seeing myself talking to people in their backyards or their houses just as if I lived next door in my own house or condo…
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( In my imagination)
I seem to be communicating to others at this level a little bit easier…
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The thing is; I feel this way inside… more then ever. Im not there yet tho… The frequency of my life has climbed.
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More meetings;;
all good all part of the process; but Im so burned out. And no one knows me. Rumors get started about people; I haven't cared; However; my level with some is very low even tho its a lie. Im not low; Im an intelligent well educated person. I just don’t care to defend myself against someone elses jealously or lies or their opinion about my life they spread to others as truth. This is part of the price of being incognito… people are nice to my face; but behind my back they make clear we are not close or friends; So be it! Its the price I pay for being in recovery.
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And shared today; IM DEFINITELY RECOVERING>
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Its a little tuff with some recovery personalities; indifference from them. However; its still working… My relationship with God is slowly getting better so I don’t depend on so many meetings… and I think its happening…
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Ive never really told anyone anything really personal… Ive opened up just enough not to be judged and still get the primary information out that I wanted healing from; and its worked; but it backfires because people think what they want to think concerning the information Ive given and what ever else they want to throw into the mix.
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Page 3
I might think Im making friends; when in reality; Im not even liked or treated at my level. However; its still all working; the recovery process; it works because I show up.
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Reported at a noon meeting that my frequency level is getting high enough its like Im at the level of civilization again; like I come from a normal house in some regular middle class neighborhood from my childhood.. Im not sure what they are called now. I understand people don’t have money like they did in the old days and buying a house is almost for the rich these days… Anyway; just trying to suggest where Im at. My frequency is much stronger at this higher level now. ( Im still confused and insecure and immature).
So at a noon meeting; reported everything; How some have helped me in these meeting closer then a brother…
How did this Go. I did it; thats all that matters at places like this. I have found many 2 faced people in these places. I might think Im making friends and others are with me; When they are not. I might think Ive been building friendships with others when in reality they actually are laughing at me behind my back; I went through this just a few days ago… I go through this all the time.
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I think what happens; I see people that I think are laughing with me in meetings at jokes or when they share; they must be sharing about something I said or something; But in reality; they were never even talking about me; Ive been a ghost and Im the last to know it.
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I may share honestly; No one cares. Instead of giving me credit; Im laughed at; but something worse has been happening; its almost a kind of contempt hatred… Its an undertone where others are not thinking about me; they simply don’t appreciate my presence nor like me .
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NO PROBLEM; Ive been through all of this for years. Whats important. I told them where Im at; that Im getting better; I feel more middle class then street these days because Ive been working with my higher power.. Ive been doing what Im suppose to to do…
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Ive mentioned people in meetings in general that have helped me where my own brothers did not. Ive mentioned how Im getting better but by no one from my past; only from those in these rooms and God.
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The reality is. No one cares. And neither do I care what they don’t care about; I report so others will know who is responsible for this fact Im getting better; and its GOD!
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But more n more as I wake up from dissociation; Im seeing more n more people with a scowl on their face; not a friendly smile when I look their way or listen for a hello when its time for me to share.
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ALMOST OUT OF THERE. Im not done yet; but almost. Im getting better and one main goal for this time round in the meetings was to get over relationship problems and get over certain people of the past. And thats exactly whats happening…
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Its always been sickening to be hated by people because Im honestly working hard in my program and making honest decent innocent progress; but more n more these days I see nothing but Satan coming from people and people getting their power from such in human means.
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Its a kind of pure prejudiced. Ive made the mistake numerous times thinking others were on my side when they mentioned something funny; only to realize I was the one everyone was actually laughing at…
In the end; I did my Higher Powers will. But it is starting to feel like Im in a furnace of enemies; and it is sickening…
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I am getting better; and I will quietly make my exit at some point.
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Either way I continue to work on my recovery at full speed and do my higher powers will…
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Im looking forward to growing more where Im not in those rooms so much nor the need for them; I think that day is coming…
I feel like Im accomplishing what I set out to accomplish this time round…
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NOTE; Hatred in this case is; Judgment with no prior investigation… Its a sure sign of Prejudiced at some point; Its like people saying their tired of me and they want me out kind of feel… Nothing new…
Im getting much closer…
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Their can be pure evil in these places and contempt with no investigation. All I have to be is unpopular… or not attractive to others… Thats all it takes… and Im hated. And their it is. Or they get tired of me because Im don’t represent them. Im in the way of them. Because 12 step meetings have been taken over by groups or smaller groups of evil.
Either way; makes no difference to me accept Im starting to get disgusted by all of it. For 12 step groups to be so twisted they run out the good people from the meetings? Its truly time to leave; and certainly God will let me know when this is possible.
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I will pray more about it. Im very close to leaving because Ive hit the normal level wthin side me. Do I need to go to meetings to expand now on this subject. Technically I don’t. But I need time; exit interview time back into society.
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What Im really waiting to see and feel. I know when Ill be ready; suddenly I just want need to go. Ill be filled up. I will just start walking away and going my own way outside…
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Im not there yet; but Ill talk to God about this; God is keeping me safe and I don’t know that these places are safe or real anymore. My be they never were. I was just to mentally ill and dissociated from reality to see it or care.
Now that Im walking up I can literally see the faces and eyes and attitudes of those in these rooms and for many of them; Im not wanted there!
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So; Ill now work with God on directions.
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The problem is; I think Im part of a group; but in reality I was never part of anything. I just didn’t know.
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Im not the only one to go through this; Ive seen people through the years go through the same thing… They finally left early and never returned.
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For me; it just feels like my time is getting close to being over. And Im waiting… Ill work with God.
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It truly is sickening when people want me out or do not respect me because Ive earned my right to get better… But this kind of thinking is what they hate when its coming from someone who is not popular like me.
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Its kind of like women; When a women is attracted to someone; A serial murder’r can be nice to them; but if hes good looking they will invite him over to their house for coffee. IF the guy that approaches them is nice but ugly; They will call the police on the ugly guy claiming hes a stalker.
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The point is; its not about right or wrong; its about popularity… its truly sickening when Im hated for doing honest work with my higher power and getting somewhere. However; thats not really the problem; The problem is; No one wanted to know me ore hear to much from me in the first place; if I played low; and did not make any waves or noise; no problem; the popular people would not have me within their realm. The problem is; I take full advantage of the meetings so I can get better and those who have turned the place into a private club house for them and their friends and for those who are in clicks and popular within the groups; They despise me and simply want me gone kind of feel. Its getting to the point of knashing of teeth from them. NO problem; Ill go when my higher power tells me its time to go…
Im not done just yet… I have to continue to get built up.
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And by the way; this does not include those who stalk me and those who help them
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With the wonderful advances in my recovery created by my higher power; I imagine Ill start taking breaks from the meetings sooner then later I guess… Ill just trust my higher power on all of this.
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Regardless; Ill be safe… at least for awhile… So; hopefully after working with God Ill be able to do enough work to slowly get stronger that leaving with have very little if no effect. But Im no where near that yet.
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I must say tho… Ive gotten to a level of humanity before I was thrown away when young; Im; Im still disconnected and not back completely but it has now come into my radar…
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Im assuming those in these recovery meetings can sense this and don’t want me around anymore; they get infuriated because I do not represent them or where they are at or their click groups.
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So; its just a matter of time working with a higher power to make a smooth natural transition. Ill know when it starts; I will just naturally start going to less meetings and Ill start doing more spiritual work outside those meetings. Ill pray about it.
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NOTE; Im still split into; Im not healed yet; the universe is in the middle of it now; and Im assuming; healing me into a whole person; but it hasnt happened yet... Thats why Im still at meetings; Im still split down the middle.
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Also; I start seeing the corruption of the meetings; and don’t want them anymore. I don’t need them at the expense of my worth.
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This whole thing also has to do with me waking up and others seeing it. I cant hide it if Im going to talk the way I talk and act. And they don’t want to see that…
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I have to be in a kind of incognito….
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The key is at some point to kind of go silent. Tone it down. Just kind of show up; take my words somewhere else. And then when Im more within sanity and reality; slowly stop going to so many meetings.
Im getting closer; Im at the sanity stage… But Im not connected yet; still to pre mature…
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Im kind of like a baby within a pregnant women at 7-8 months… I am the baby; the mother is the Universe; Shes well on her way to having Me ( this baby) Birthed but not yet. Ill kind of be re birthed out into society again and Ill learn how walk for the first time independently. But Im not doing this pre maturely… Ill wait on the universe and pray to the universe for help with this. For the universal part of me that wants to be born again onto planet earth is not ready yet; but very close. I might be ready; but the necessary hardware for it to happen is not em-placed yet..
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So; My foundation has been set; set for the outside world; I can tell that. The problem is; Its just not strong enough yet; That means; Im still needy and need more time; more love; more caring; more family time in the meetings…
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Its a matter of time… So; its important that I understand I have to cool it down a bit… just show up and be loved and stay out of the rest for awhile.
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Ive been through this before. Soon; I things start getting jagged and I start falling away; I start getting interoperable of meetings; I just kind of start leaving early; I don’t need them; Ive got to much going on in the outside world. And that's where this time period is leading me.
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Right now; Im still lost. My mind is not on a new life created of things I do on a daily basis… It still involves meetings.
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THE NEXT STEP>
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I was listening to this cringing music that I remember from the 1980’s. One of the worst things Ive ever heard; Actually; its not a bad written song; its actually quite interest.
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Its entitled;
IM AN ADULT NOW!
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And thats exactly where I am right now!~
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The past experiences; the whole concept of being held in check from my own trauma’d mind is the problem.
But Ive worked through the past. Nothing really left accept some bulling and sexual abuse; and some of that has been worked through.
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Ive worked through enough to go outside and take some steps…
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I don’t know what any of this means; I still feel heart broken when I go into reality because of what I lost in my past life in reality; However; at this point their a strange catch to all of this.
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IVE WORKED THROUGH THE PAST…
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Im know Im not missing anything; I literally know this.
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Its almost like I have pre triggered fear… Ive worked through the losses of the past. So; going back outside is brand new…
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I know have to work with God to create new pathways parallel and along side the old; creating new and moving forward down a new created pathway-ed life.
Its not that the past can stop me; I cant because it doesn’t exist anymore… The power it had; the hold is broken.
So; I have to go out now and dig up the dead and move it out of my way… The dead represents all the past history that has stopped me… Its now a powerless deceased set of objects buried in the dirt… I know have to carve now pathways through all of this old; and create a new life by taking new chances.. .
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Im at that place now; and it doesn’t get better then this; It is its time…
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I have absolutely no idea what Im doing. I just know its possible for me to do it…
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Its totally different. The reason is; I don’t know anyone who has ever gotten this far before… So I have no real stories of theirs to go on…
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I have God and the Universe and Gods son; Sonny Boy; Sunny Jesus; Jesus of Nazareth; The Nazarene. The Holy one… Universal. Holy Spiritus…
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Im serious when I say; for me; It doesn’t get any better. Its time to go explore… I have no idea what Im doing… Its strange… all of this…
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I would not be saying this unless it was time…
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What shape am I in; meaning my brain. My brain is half insane and tired like a set a pliers… Its all good; God has it all set up right for me… for me to learn to take chances…
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Ill work with God…
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I want to say one thing. I can feel it; It doesn’t mean I wont get into trouble or find myself down the wrong side of a cliff. It just means Im going out there to live again.
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I know how to set goals and pathways and bridges and how to create plans within my imagination… So…..
Im OKE… Now I work with God…
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Its kind of like I see myself from the 1980s doing this; That was my time in college… The difference is; it may feel that way. But it doesn’t have to be that way because; Ive worked through the past enough; and it just doesn’t matter… I don’t have a past stopping me but this is damn uncomfortable; I promise.
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The point is; Ive got my hands full dealing with this present as far as moving forward into new experiences. I don’t have it made because Im not living in the past. I have no idea how to forge through anything yet in the present. So; I mean; Im not getting out of anything; I will still have to work at everything I get involved in… Am I saying this correctly.
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THE PAST;
I don’t have a past; I worked through it.
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However; Im still getting triggered by it in my thickened mind. But Im not; I mean; Im being fooled by stuff that's already been figured out and is gone; it is trying to show itself with power; but it has no power. I can feel it; it has power feelings associated with it; but it means nothing. And that's the weird part.
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In an old movie from my childhood… The original; Beneath the planet of the Apes; The humans have to go through what appears a giant wall of fire… It scares most off; However; the main character of the movie; is able to go through the fire realizing its all a mind trick by the enemy. And so my past is also a mind trick at this point; after working through it.
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Im sure It will try to influence me but that is all the power it can try. For; there is no power because its all been figured out on paper… and it is simply the past…
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Its all interesting how this works; How God works…
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So; things have now switched.
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They are no easier then before.
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In fact; Im kind of at the ground floor as Before; but this time with no past and a God to turn to as a map guide… And their it is……
Im heading off to life the way I would have in the beginning of the 1980’s. I get to live again… Well; I get the opportunity to pursue my happiness. We will see how this starts. Certainly with prayer… and a whole lot of imagining.
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I have to learn how to make my own way!
Im still damaged goods… I mean; Im not at the level of the finer Swim and Tennis clubs in the big cities for the rich. My league is a strange lowly league more like a basic bowling ally with a lane on the far end of the building. But its mine; God gave it to me. My market value is about 2-5 out of 10 if Im lucky. But Im fine… God can bring me a cute women down my league just as easily as one bring brought to a rich guy at the Country Clubs for the rich…
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Im fine. The key is; Ive got to learn how to handle things as an adult. I cant say this any better…
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As far as women are concerned; I have to learn how to handle things as an adult.
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As for any kind of outside career stuff; regardless of what that means; I have to learn how to do things as an adult… I will work with God on this… my mind is broken… So…
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NOTE: My mind is broken; its weak; its weak’nd.. The point is; I will have to sit back and take an assessment of who I am and work from their and stay humble; I mean; Talk to God and start at the beginning of the beginning of the beginning and let the universe guide me; where I was baffled; let the universe un-baffle me.
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So; Im moving into this new realm; I feel a bit scared a bit lonely. Really alone sort of…
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Anyway. Ill be starting to write about what all this is going to mean as this moves me forward..
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Im getting close to feeling that transitional moments…
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Maybe now; as I move into this other realm; I will start losing weight maybe.
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Women have not taken me seriously ….. Im not sure; Ill talk to God about this.
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I was never around the right women…
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SO;
NO MORE PAST…
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It has a strange feeling to it… Im a broken person wanting to create new in front of me; This has to go through God first. And there is my trust problem… There it is… Ill talk to God about this…
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Ive been picky and stuck up when it comes to women; Ill have to talk to God about this for answers to get these things straitened out concerning women… Ill get their… God will give me answers…
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SO: IM IN A WHOLE NEW REALM I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT…
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Its almost like I got shot back to a form of childhood; like 3rd grade and Im like back their and seeing things fresh from those fresh eyezzz onto the world and my innocent journey; And Ill work with God on what this meeeeeans… Man O man! O man!
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God please help me! Your will God not mine! All knew; Pleaze help me God! Amen!
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No Maturity! Scared!
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LETS TALK ABOUT A BIG BIG PROBLEMS; GOD!
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I DONT TRUST GOD!
I have the same trust level as the child experiences Ive had. I have to go back to child level; like 3rd grade and start over with God. I have to work on this.
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WELL; Im in luck! Im back at that 3rd grade innocence again; Thanks to the Universe!
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SO; I can see it; I mean it came to me immediately; This will be where I start; from the backyard In my imagination of my original childhood house.
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Ill be working with God…
Ill be working with God like a map… I mean; on everything.
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I have to learn how to trust God; Ive got the experience of an inexperienced 3rd grader…
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So; next big issue is relationship with God or no go… And Im having to learn this! I have to learn this…
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So; This God thing has to come back to a place where I trust God… its that simple and I appreciate it and I believe it.
I saw a girl today talking about God; it was great… I mean/ she really appreciated just the presence of God… and like she sacrificed for God; and Im like; I would love to have that wonderful feeling for God.
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This has to be number 1 priority.
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Like I said; I was stunned by this women who had this emotional relationship with God… it was like; she was appreciative; it was crazy.
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So; Ill be talking to God about this… She really appropriated God. So; I don’t know…
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So; This really is a big deal and I have to pray about this and ask God what to do here.
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It really is about God and trusting God.
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I plan to go down pathways for my future and goals and God is in charge; so; its like I better learn how to talk to God…
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I don’t want what happened to me when younger; I not only don’t want that happening again; I need to learn a new way or something. An Adult way of doing things.
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This is frustrating and difficult; However; working with God is something Ive done before… kind of. So; Im now having to create a new relationship with God…
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I have to give way to God… My childhood has to be cleared up; what happened in it…
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Where was God… I was a child…. I mean! What? Are you kidding? What? Hello!
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So; Ive got to work with God to build a better relationship; and really look at this.
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All things are going to be filtered through God… Thats allot of humility; I mean; thats letting go of control. Im scared; Im afraid I cant do this.
Or I wont do this.
Im angry.
So; I may have to take this 1 second at a time…
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I can start this new process any time I want…
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So; the new goal has to do with God…
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This has to do with the inside of my brain and who owns it. Im so sorry I was never protected ever in my life. Ill have to take over working with God… iS not the way I planned it or dreamed it…
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So; half the problems Ive had in my life were looking for parents; The problem is; all the thugs criminal types of any kind that showed up and how I either froze up in confusion on how to deal with them or passive aggression or I just stayed in one place. Hid inside myself. I was confused because I was in day light…
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The problem was; I was like a cop type. And Decent people don’t hang out with thugs and just wait around…
I have to learn how to move; back off back out; get out.
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God; showed -that -to -me -the -other -day with a certain couple I was having a problem with. I later understood that the women involved with manipulating everyone; I never saw it. God made it clear; Universe made it clear; back way from these people or Ill be internally fighting with them playing cop; and the cops will be called… that was not my role or goal in these places; anonymity is the role in these places.
I have to learn to back out; not defend my position. Its not my position; its the wrong ground.
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I find myself in the wrong places and defending them. Those places are not free.
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Their is a reason cops wear weapons… Not everyplace is free or safe…
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Ive been in unsafe places and acted like they were protected when they weren’t protected…
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God is helping me grow up.
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I have to get a hold of my own brain and thinking…
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Ive been waiting for someone to do it; it looks like its going to be me. Thats what I wanted; but still; I was hoping a father would show up protect me and help me grow up; maybe God will still do this for me.. IT never happened when I was young; instead I was thrown away… I did not know thats what the people in that house had planned for me. But it was.
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So; now; I reach out to God for help to continue the growth process. Its hard…
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Ive not learned my lesson. Cops wear guns for reasons; Not everyone and everywhere is safe…
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I have to learn to back off.
I have to learn to call the police… Or be a person that has a reputation of such things… I don’t…
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The work is with God… TO build that safe space with God and work with God… work on my development with God.
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My First lesson is beginning…
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Im learning my first lesson; How to allow the universe to get me to sit down and be disciplined into using my imagination and doing what the universe tells me to do. Doing what God tells me to do; Work down my own lane; don’t worry about anyone elses…
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God will attract the right life down my own lane. First I have to work with God down my own lane to start things.
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As I work with God to go from a broken boy to a man. One subject comes up; If I never dated her or asked her out; she is not my girlfriend. So; I don’t get any of the perks that go with it! Nothing!
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Shes not mine. She isnt anything… So; Im hearing this; Im angry and feeling that boy entitlement.. However; as I work with God; Im getting better stronger..
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My maturity level seems to be heading upward; The idea Im feeling is responsibility…
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This RESPONSIBILITY seems to be a bi product of the work Ive done with the universe; talking to the universe for a very long time and explaining to God my goals and working with my higher power.
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Im learning how to stay put; only move from my prayer rug when the universe signals me. As for the prayer rug; its as if I see a father figure in my imagination telling me what to do sternly; holding me to the discipline that is required to stay on the prayer rug and learn to imagine the things I want before I get them. All working with God…
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SO; Im interested in building back connections to my original self. My original goals; self; ambitions; personality person identity… I think this might be possible; but not yet; I have the right to pursue happiness.
I have allot of connective work to do; but not yet; still to new; to soon.
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Im feeling better; more connection; less bashful or hopeless; Im not feeling at all as hopeless… I cant say it anymore then this… Im feeling way over hopeful…
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So; here I am; my basic level strange league level; all good; Its basic bowling ally lane on the far side please… basic starting level; me and God; I start down my lane; start walking down it… I stop and ask God if this is the right direction; and their it is… what do I do now God; am I going down the right direction God.
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Manifestation through meditation. Allot of the complaints Ive written about concerning people outside the family system I came from; Non of this would have existed if I had done meditation first and worked with God first; I would have never met these people; God would have never even brought these people within a thousand miles of me; nothing! The fact is; I found them; they never came to me… They were miles and miles away from me. They wouldn't have cared either way…
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Meditation for me today is about staying inline with God. Staying inline with God through meditation and in my imagination; manifesting what I want; imagining what I want and God bringing it to me… But without any control on my part. Im not sure how I can do that; keep my hands out of the cookie jar… stay out of it; I can practice imagining Im going down energy river on a raft; hands to myself; just letting it float down the river until it hits a shore and stops; I get out; I work with God on what that means; where Im at; and what journey this is going to be…
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SO; its like going down energy river with my hands to myself no rowing anything; raft just floats down the river; No getting involved and waiting until what I want shows up in my imagination. I can feel it; I mean; its empowering but scary and hard.
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This kind of wishful thinking keeping my hands off the steering wheel; Keeping my hands off the or’s of the raft; just letting it float down energy river; keeping my hands of the controls; this is what larger dreams are made of. By not getting involved in the outcome I learn to get excited about the possibilities of what will show up. That's the idea… Ill have to practice in my imagination and through meditation. And Ill have to talk to God about dreaming of bigger things and how to do that and learn to work through CPTSD and other things… learning to believe again… believe in bigger things.
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Im not sure how to describe where Im at.. Im at a really really good great place… really truly. Mainly because of no co dependency. Im starting to see signs of my original self coming back; at a deeper level of this is the original me when I was a young child.
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However; this new me; or the original me coming back; has no codependent slave marks… The original me that is coming out into the open being re birthed into society was born into this reality realm long after most of the people of my past are now deceased…. They are literally long gone now…
This is a person with no ties to the past when concerned with relationships; human relationships.
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I can go on n on. Whats happening here? Im in the very beginning of a gradual change back into society. A real change. Im watching and feeling it happen; However; Im not in control of it. I don’t have any power. Ive instead; Ive contacted what does have power and that power is being applied to my life and my life is change; its been changed inside out from the universe. My whole insides look more like something someone looks out of a telescope at a clear night sky in the mountains… Its a vast view of stars because its the universe. If you look at the deepest core of me; That's what you will see…
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The hard part is; I cant do anything about anything. Im not in control. I love what is happening; I will do more of the work involved with the tools Ive been given and hopefully create more signals of this; sent to the universe where the universe obliges; response with changes Ive asked for…
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I will say this; it does seem Im floating down energy river allot; as changes seem to come rather quickly these days…
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