Checking in;
Changes;
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Slowly heading back to some newer levels… closer levels of my goals…
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Activities;
Im slowly changing into a person who is or wants to create music compositions for performance. However; its more then that. My thinking has come back a little. Im a little more sane… aligned. And Im showing more resilience to actually sit down in front of the computer and allow some creative writing expressions. Not saying its much; Just saying its further along then before and it has crossed some lines into reality; And that means Im creating in reality. Its hard… reality is hard; very hard; very hard for my smashed in brain.
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Relationships;
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1. To get over First Love; How is that going; it continues to slowly smash down walls where that person and their perceived original value and memories of that person are being vanished; That is the on going goal. Its happening slowly. More of me is present that used to be owned by her. I would say; the lie is up!
Im no longer convinced she was who I thought she was. Im no longer under the belief I ever had a relationship with this person. Instead I made a great mistake with a complete stranger; a dangerous person…
Hopefully if I continue to do this work of breaking down the truth concerning this person and eliminating any false beliefs associated around this monster; hopefully ill continue to regain myself back again. And thats what seems to be happening.
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2. Im creating new stories of new people for my life. New stories of God creating new people out of the energy of God. I imagine Jesus and the Angels and the Holy spirit and God Universe; All putting energy into a circle with Holy spirit in the middle; and the creation of new beings; and these beings rise and are formed into new people out of God energy that are here to serve me and help me and love me in this life.
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More n more As I share more honestly with others; people are showing up that seem to take an interest in me. I had a few women today take an interest in me; one wanted to help me the other said she loved me…
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And I was much closer listening to others on how to have a relationship; how to start one.
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BEING THROWN AWAY FROM PARENTS;
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When I was young I thought I would learn how to interact with others.. and work with other; However; After being thrown away from parents I was unable to ever get close to people again. Now that is slowly changing. Im showing signs of being close to people again. Ive made a giant leap forward in behavior and its garnering results; its all from God. And it all resembles what Ive been working toward for years… the goals and dreams.
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So; I just have to keep at it…
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Thank you God
Your will God not Mine; Amen.
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Over n Out!