July 2025
June 2025
I have 1.5 million fears to face; and Ill be praying about that; and what to do and how to start or where to start…
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Ill write about it and write about creating directions and stuff in my imagination.
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Ill write what I want to accomplish in life and imagine ways to do so; but id have to be another person with no fears to accomplish this; Ill work with God on it; amen.
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God has told me to become a Caveman; as Cavemen can face anything. God; under Gods power is turning me into a Caveman.
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Im learning that I have to do things on a daily basis if I want something on a daily basis; I want a fulfilled life. I practice everyday to regain momentum down my pathways. I practice what is fulfilling on a daily basis. However; it has to be under Gods care and completely started over under Gods supervision.
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On the positive side; I don’t have a past anymore. My emotions are keyed into the present and my goals for the future. This in itself is much more then allot of people have. I am not connected to a past; My emotions are not interested in the past; to be connected; they are interested in all the future stuff that can and will happen; and exciting future under God. My emotions are mine now; they belong to me and what ever direction in the present and future I want to build for them, under God… For The universe is the power; I am simply learning ways to tap into that power and humbly ask for help from the universe. I want that power to go in my favor; My Favorable direction.
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Ill pray and take action. Keep taking actions by practicing facing forward where fears tend to crop up; Ill start in my imagination; the exercising of my direction. Ill practice in my imagination and once good at it and aligned to God; Ill take it out here into the real world.
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Ill meditate.
Im not sure how this will be done…
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So; I state My goals; My end goals; and then I start working toward them as I am…
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What does that mean?
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Well.
I pray about it… meditate on it.
I create pictures or even videos of it… from start to finish… like a movie; until I see it and believe it; and believe its possible. I have to learn to believe Im going to get what I desire…
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So; Lots of exercises with this…
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FEAR and My Goals.
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SO; The new me is appearing; Ive been rocketed through the 4th dimention; quantum leap.
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I Face forward and I have 1.5 million fears to face; as I head toward my goals…
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I don’t really have a past; My emotions are tied to the present and the future; the momentum forward facing forward with enthusiasms toward my goals…
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NOTE; This is the Catch; I must be under Gods care 100%; God in control 100%; and then I learn how to believe. I move forward down God pathway…
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NOTE; I was watching a vid on the War in Ukraine as I always do. I saw the trench warfare… I saw the Ukraine trenches; they are solid and deep; dug out.. And that is what the inner pathway of God is for me. Its a trench I walk down. I don’t get to slide off onto the sides as if its a slippery slope. Meaning; I have to stay put. I don’t get to divert to the left or right.. If I have a problem down the pathway; I have to work with God on how to over come it… And thats what it means to be down Gods pathways for me; When God is 100% in control.
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I face forward; that is the idea; I imagine… I have 1.5 million fears.. As I face forward they are confronted; one little one at a time. These are small sliver like fears; but they are powerful and cause much of a jolt to my nervous system when facing and realizing what they mean and where they originated. As I move forward toward my goals; they naturally come out and are triggered; meaning; the re seeing re experiencing and re feeling of such resentments; This causes panic and fear. And as I get back on the road of my higher powers will; My stability and hope comes back; and I move through fear and beyond insecurity.
that is whats happening… that is what is happening; Im facing forward and reliving these things and Im making it through.
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The goal;
My goals and facing the fears down the passageways… the fears along the pathways. Im also praying for support.
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Going from inside my apartment to outside my apartment;
However; what is important is right now. Right Now Im writing and watching a show On TV in my apartment.
The goals I have are outside my apartment. Ill be building and practicing pathways in my imagination. God is first and I worship and work with God and I do that first; God comes first. Alignment with God is first.
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Do not let outside lusts and fantasies side track my heart. My heart must be inline with God…
The key is to get all things out of my heart and mind except God and Gods direction for me… So; mind and heart belong to God; not fantasy. Direction belongs to God; Not fantasy. And from their I await on Gods moves and direction for me.
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Ill practice taking footsteps forward…
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This issue right now;
I don’t wait to get started; I can just start; I can start with meditation and a defining of my goals and go from there. Just start writing and planning and drawing what I want… and work with God to practice down pathways… Imagine it or practice the concept… Keep working at it… Ask my inner being what direction to go. Ask my inner being; what objectives…
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My mind set is now purely on putting my higher powers mind first; at any cost for me to bow down long enough for this to happen.. And then I must learn to work with my higher power and learn how to trust my higher power in this present environment.
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NOTE; For example; I was at the store.
Im an old man; and the clerk; she looked at me with disgust as if Im a bum. Well; I kind of look like one; unkempt and such. Im on a bicycle with an old blue grocery bag for carrying things. I havent shaved; I sometimes do…
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I look like bum-fights on you-tube. However; This is a kind of reality for me. How I look and this is how Im treated by many… Just saying; its no fun out here… Out there in that respect. Its not fun being continually rejected in this society from birth… However; No problem.
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It will help when I know where Im going in life; what I clearly want and go after it…
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The key is to keep my eye on my objectives and to remember; Ive never been this fare in my adult life….
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Drumming;
Nothing appears harder; it reminds me of the Ukrainian war… Thats how hard it seems to get God to turn things around and help me become a drummer.
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It seems like God does not want me to be a drummer… God does not want me to open that up; as if its like a death trap; Like the death trap of the Ukraine war…
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I really don’t understand…
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Its like I get no help from the universe… Nothing; no signals; nothing. Zero… concerning Drumming and other things.
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Same thing with Telescopes; I had an interest in the heavens; I enjoyed the moon; looking at it; and wanting to get involved in astronomy; NOPE… No Go! No safe place to view the moon.
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Is this a sign from God.. I don’t get it; I thought it was a desire of mine… But these desires are not being met from God; I guess these are things I was never suppose to be involved in?
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I am getting a signal. The signal is; If I choose to do drumming or telescope; More specifically drumming; It must be under the strait path God pathway of God… Drum Pathway directly under and inline with and part of the bigger Pathway; God pathway; Directly. And there is the answer. Not sure what it means; but I get it…
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So; Ive got my answer. And I Kind of do! It means what it means; its extremely hardcore…
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Meaning; I got the answer; Its under God Im not in control; So; we’ll see where this goes…. I get it… So; Ill start working on it… Ill know when if it does align.
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Wife; Well; ya; Ive got along way to go. Its like the drumming; its so torn up. The Wife thing is so torn up. But there is a strange thing about it; The areas of being torn up; these are before I get a wife. Ive never actually had a wife or anyone who qualified; I never got that far… So; being destroyed is before that.
I can see that Ive never been on a God pathway for a wife. ( That means under Gods full restrictions and direction and control). And I can see a pathway; but like the drumming; its brutally stringent hardcore. I mean; its like being in the Army. Ive never been in the Service; the military; However; thats what I imagine it to be. I can see it. I can see this might just kill me because; God has made it clear; He is in control…. Not me… I am under his control. And that is where the problem lies…
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SO; I have allot of work to do on any subject and on these 3 subjects; I have to get them out of my hands and under Gods control; really work with God to let go… . Druming car insurance and a wife…
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So; That is the answer.
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House;
How about a house; Well; A house; yes; but its further along. I can kind of see and feel the attraction; the pull of a house… something now is pulling; and with it; a drum room… So; I have to keep working on that as well… Working on new stories about owning my own home.
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Car; Well; Right now Im more concerned about manifesting Car Insurance for the long haul First; The car comes second. This means; payment every month for gas and Insurance… The first thing; I must believe; and learn how to believe; I will believe I have car insurance and gas money; And their it is… That has to come first…
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So; As Ive said; Im learning how to believe again; God is showing me how to get to a higher level of frequency; This means; Believing I can get what I want; My desires come true. All I have to do is learn to believe; believe first.
Ive heard I have to take action for things to happen. Ill talk to God about that; I believe in taking action at first to align the idea with God; align my desires. However; I believe that work can be done on paper working within my imagination.
I can created stories about that new car and driving that new car. When the idea of a car aligns. Well. Im not sure at that point what the work involved is. Meaning; do I go try out cars. Do I test drive them; What comes next; I don’t know. Ill need the money for a car. Ill need car insurance and gas money… license money; maintenance money.
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Ill work with God on all of this Stuff.
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I think what Im learning; its all under God no its no go! And I have to learn to appreciate that. I have to go through God to have anything; Because; God is the power; has the power; is the power grid. I have to go to the power grid and bow down to God and ask for help humbly. Amen.
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