July 2025
June 2025
Blog
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Could I go without a 12 step meeting at this point. Maybe!
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Ive learned just enough; I feel I need support; but still; have I learned enough not to go to meetings.
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Ive gotten to the basic core of things…
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I still need support; but do I need knowledge from these groups.
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So; that is the question; the answer always; is; not yet. I need to be able to bow down to God completely and work with a higher power… and that is the problem. A compete dependency on God….
And IM working on it… The idea is; so I can go back out into the real world again….
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Am I ready for that; no.
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but Im closer…
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I want certain answers to my problems… . And thats what I want….
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Ill have to work with God on these things… and keep working with God on this stuff; amen…
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God has to wake up a part of me… Get me awake again so I can function again… Amen….
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THIS NEXT LEVEL IS HARD: AND WILL BE HARD: THIS IS WHERE I BREAK OFF AND WITH SUPPORT AND FAITH WITH GOD: START DOING THINGS INDEPENDENTLY>
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THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TIME WITHIN RECOVERY IVE DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS>…
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Before; This; I did attempt independence; It never worked. My mind was to dissociative; I just wanted here… It could not move; it was like my nervous system was in a strait jacket….
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I have to surrender to God and go down Gods pathways… I have to go down Gods pathways. I have to humble myself to God and ask for help on what to do…
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Please God; please help me!
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So; This next process is one of strengthening….
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Ill have to work on my goals and get stronger and learn to believe that the universe is going to help; help me out into the positive… Amen.
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