July 2025
June 2025
Had a breakthrough tonight.
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It started with a post I wrote... Im trying to remember what I wrote about; O ya. ultimately; it was about learning how to tell women Im interested in or who might be interested in me; me talking to them about how I feel about them up front... telling them about my problems and letting them decide if they want to go further or if they would.
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This is an answer to the first girl I loved when young; The universe is showing me; it matters not what they did to me; what matters is; did I share my feelings with her; all of them and tell her how I felt completely and then go from their and make her my girlfriend. If so; at that moment; thats what counts... IF the person doesnt like me at that point or dont want to accept me after I tell them how I feel; thats up to them. But I must tell them how I feel about them and not judge them before this. They dont owe me anything.
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This means a specific thing; I must learn how to express my feeling about someone to someone. it also means; I pull someone aside and tell them where Im at and allow them to decide if they want to continue. So; Ill pray about learning how to let my feelings out to people; to women... that is my freedom.. Ill pray about it and manifest it. It means; If I think someone could like me Or might be potential I pull them aside and talk to them first...
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I still cant remember; or dont remember the post...
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O yes; I talked about how I HIT on this chick and I hit on her hard and could not follow through; I was really strong asking her out; but when she showed up around me to go home with me; I got scared or traumatized and never followed through.. and this has happened for several years. I finally stopped associating with women and everyone; pulled back. Now Im starting to move forward again.
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So; God is showing me how to re enter the human experience; and God is showing me what is expected of me and who's fault is what...
If I cant follow through with a women. I am to practice talking to other women about my inability to follow through because I will get used to pulling women aside and talking to them about this. If Im dealing with a women that might like me and I cant follow through; I will pull her to the side and talk to her.... thats what this is about. I will learn to express my feelings to her....through practice.
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Keep working with God.
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I created several posts on this stuff; of course placed declined the post; they seem to do that when ever I send out something where Im actually growing. But I did post it places; Also; I went to a meeting and told all of it to mix group... Not always easy; but once done Im stronger and further along.
A break through; suddenly Im more present wrestling and dealing with emotions. more present. more mature suddenly. more healed; I mean; I got a big breakthrough; I can see my first love and she has no power over me because she is not a parent she is a girl; and women are dealt with differently then other people. In this case; its romantic and certain rules prevail and if I do not follow the rules; no go; I get nothing. And I didnt follow through with my emotions; telling her how I felt... And that is that. and I can see myself taking full responsibility for the situation. And I can see it and feel it; she has nothing to do with anything; its all up to me to send out this thick wall of information concerning her; once all of it is emptied; its up to her what she wants to do with it; but this is required and normal and I was acting like I could do what I wanted and still should get the same result. I mean; its like going to the store and yelling at the manager of the store that I want candy for free and I should get candy for free; I mean its no reasonable.
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ITs the same for the car; taking it to the next level; keep working with the universe on it; Im changing no doubt about it; The universe is changing me; for what I dont know yet.. But I would like to get closer to reality..
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