Areas of Confidence…
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Consistency confidence; not dropping out of confidence level over time
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Frequency confidence; To move upward in Frequency and applying confidence; true confidence through transition
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Socioeconomic confidence; And the problems that go with it. I get valued at by those in a super market on the poor side of town. I go to the rich side of town and try the same level of open confidence; Suddenly no one is interested…. They have no appreciation…. But Im the exact person as at the store on the poor side of town. Regardless; I have to use frequency confidence; gain to a higher level frequency and then begin to practice down this new pathway until I establish myself in this new cultural aspect of the more wealthier…
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Consistency confidence; I was in the store and saw a women in front of me; she was waiting for something; I looked at her she looked at me; she was good looking; and she was looking at me with a very engaging look; she appeared definitely attracted to me. It shocked me; with a sudden bashfulness; I turned away in anger and pulled back and just kept walking; out of hiding and defense. I was trying to hide… it was 2 much; I didn’t have the confidence to go to look at her.
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I dropped out. Before I saw her; right when I saw her; I had confidence; but after I realized this good looking girl like me; I slammed dropped to the floor and trying to defend myself out of there before I thought I would get hurt or caught staring back. I was so bashful I could not get near her; I ran away…
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I dropped out.
However; I saw the whole thing and noticed it. If I had kept my confidence and could get control and just keep looking at her and smiling; I could have slowly walked by and said hi. And learn to mingle with this kind of person that was actually attracted to me.
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This is what I mean when I say I need consistency confidence if I want better relationships and the ability to stop hiding.
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Frequency confidence; I experienced frequency confidence; its all under the watchful eye of God…
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Ive been practicing “ Random acts of Kindness”; toward many things and people; without them knowing anything…
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Because of this love for man kind; soon; I started to feel more love for the outside world and its habitat.
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I found myself on my bicycle; I was riding through a neighborhood; a humble decent neighborhood; it headed to the big store…
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I prayed and told all the trees I loved them and the bushes and flowers and greenery and planets and grass…
Id been saying hello to anyone I could…
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Suddenly I saw a women; she attractive and old enough; She had gotten out of a car; she had a dog. She was up into a yard; I saw her; I put out my hand and said; “ Hello”; She completely turned and with a natural smile and natural countenance; openly; she said; Hello! And proceeded to go into her house with a bit a hurry. She was very open with me and relaxed…
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What happened here. Because before this; I was saying hello during the last several weeks to sidewalk people and may even drug addicts on the streets… or people with their dogs walking… and others.. But they were strangers and I was practicing.
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However; in this case; this is a women with a Dog in a neighborhood in her lawn going into her house. This person and this experience was a much higher frequency; Now Im dealing with attractive real minded women home owners and Im talking to them or saying hello…. . And Im aware of how they responded to me; It was friendly; it was frequency; I was at their frequency because they invited me into their frequency;
How did this happen?
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I moved from a lower frequency to a higher frequency; from outside sidewalks to neighborhood houses…
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The point of all this; This is what I wanted or wanted to manifest… Im interested in moving inward into society and this is an example of such things happening before my eyes.. Im not in charge; Im just showing up… But it is happening…
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After being thrown away as a child; as a boy; I had no more confidence concerning society or its people. I did not exact to get anywhere. But with God in charge; things are changing in front of me. Quantum shifts in many forms.
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NOTE: As for some women now; Im seeing ghosts. They are not real; They come in go...its more like Christmas past; they are ghosts…
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THE BEGINNING OF A NEW JOURNEY
Relationship Journey…
A new pathway is emerging…
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Jesus did not have A Golden chalice. It was made of basic dark wood from basic trees or whatever; from their Forests…
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Jesus did not live in Kings Palaces. Later information may have shown he visited many upper class neighborhoods in other cities; However; Philosophically speaking; He lived in a cave on the beach and other places….
The point being; Jesus’s Chalice was not found in Kings Palaces; it was found in a cave on the beach where the poor people sleep and play during the day….
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My journey is created by him ( Jesus). It is a humbled Journey; its very close to ground level; I wont be talking to upper classman or upper class women from the Barons Castle… No! Ill be talking to the women from The well; who must put water packs on their back to gain drinking water for their families on a daily basis; these are the type of people God would have me serve or serve me…
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So; In the past I was an Ocean away from my dreams; from being someone ready for a dream or a visual desire. Now; Im a river away; or a large stream; but its a stream I cant get across. The only way I can cross it; I must bow down to God for the answer. And I believe that answer has come or is taking shape…
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In order to cross; its a bridge; a human bridge. Its a bridge of people; one at a time; that I ask for help and open up to about my fears of interacting with others; one person at a time; As I take a chance to pull them off to the side to talk; each time they take me a little bit further across the river. Many many of them are women who represent my mother or a female teacher if I was a small child.
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At some point I gather enough experience asking to talk with these people; taking a chance I could be rejected; Id gain enough experience; Ill be ready for what is on the other side of the river within the quantum field. I have to become someone else first before I can cross the river; The process of crossing the river turns me into someone else… Someone ready for my desires on the other side of the river; the beginning of my life…. The beginning of life…
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The seriousness of this is; The horrible fear of being rejected. I have to take a chance and ask for help. And when I do; I go for a walk and tell them something Im ashamed of; or afraid Ill be rejected; for it is the small child in me becoming present and I need to grow and develop; each person I talk with plays the teacher; I play the very baby young student; Like a 5 or 6 or 7 or 8 or 9 year old. And I trust them and talk to them; and they give the 7 year old in me instruction on how to live and move further down my journey; a few new steps. Then later; another shows up; and Im faced with pulling them off the side and getting them to spend some time with me talking to me. And the journey furthers and continues.
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NOTE: However; this time its not just; “ Another shows up”. This time Im also showing up as sales man and opportunist. Im taking chances with people who; I have no idea of the answer…
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Im like a little kid with no more experience then a little kid; and Im asking adults for help. The last thing I remember; I was swinging on a swing in the park and then robbed of my life and Im here now trying to make sense out of everything.
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However; all of this is leading me to a reality of my situation and how God is helping me with it… What direction.
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These people that are helping me; helpers; they are under God; They are being controlled by God. They are not the rich from rich houses; They are meek and the humble who inherent the earth.
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What is at the end of all of this; My Wife! This will all lead up to my life. Ill be on land on the other side of the quantum divide; all of this leads up to my wife. I don’t know; but I think she will be as humble as the journey that has been created by Jesus.
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So it begins; it has begun. Ive started with that one person that is willing to help; I had to ask for help and ask if I could walk around with them for a moment and get their help; and I told them a secret… something heartbreaking about myself…
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and so we talked and I worked through a little bit more and started to head down my journey that leads to the shore of the river; and at some point; other helpers from God will appear and help me; They were be laundry people; and the broken heart-ed; They will not be princes from Kings houses or royalty from the Princes Palace. Instead; they will be the maids and the servants and cobblers who work in the adjoining buildings..
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For it will be the humble that are helping me not the mighty on earth…
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For the rich; the wealthy; those who have turned riches into Gods; They receive their reward; but me I pray in secret places and I receive my reward from heaven.
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NOTE: I absolutely believe in being rich and wealthy; But one must start with God and nothing but a desire and work with God first and let God manage and from there working with God; Then I work on becoming rich through God; RICh; meaning money wealth; big houses; lots of cares; prosperous.
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NOTE: I work with God to create a family; Wife, children. This is right down Gods pathway… something; to become wealthy; Wealthy with Family; Wealthy with Children… Prosperous.
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After I have walked across the river and am on land again; the journey will continue; I will be put into gladiator school before I can become a gladiator. And once done and on my journey again; Ill will have been the sward that was put into the fire for it to get hardened; And in the process as I go down my journey; I will meet my wife; And she shall be just as the others; a humble maiden who receives her reward in the secret places under heaven when she prays… For Gods word is her reward; all the reward she seeks.
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And many rich will show up around this process; and they will be curious on lookers and may even be moved; but they will never help; They will scurry off to their wealthy homes and thank God they are better then everyone else; They hide in their Golden lavished beds; I hide in God… And so will my wife; For God would send me no other; I think? Truly I don’t know… I am only suppose to trust God..
At the end of this journey; I shall find my wife….
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NOTE; Its a treacherous journey; Lots of enemies in space of friends; One has to be as sly as a fox… Not everyone is my friend; many are my enemy disguised as my friend who would want to see me dead; They have no value for me; Or they would use me and con me and play me… deception.
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They are ruthless in-human animals. They ruthlessly use other people to get what they want… Its pure evil; its sickening; one has to watch out.
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