I've stopped counting the days, but occasionally I check the calendar to see where I am, and today I'm on day 2 of my 7th WEEK!

I'm surprised these days at how easy it is. It's no longer 'easier', it's actually easy. And that's got me wondering. How come? If it was that easy why did it take me years to get here? Something's not right. There's got to be a catch.

So, being me I've been comparing THIS time to every other time I tried to stop and the answer is so simple, it's mind blowing.

There WAS no other time that I actually stopped gambling. Oh, a couple of days here, with a little slip. A couple of days there, with some crutches like non-cash gambling sites. A few days being broke and unable to gamble.

But never was there a time in my past that I actually got serious and STOPPED gambling. Even in my mind. I was never mentally prepared or willing to REALLY stop gambling. I always had a 'cured' date or time frame or plan. My goals were always centered around gambling better, not around never gambling ever again (though God knows I would swear 'never again' after each brutal session).

So the fact is, until this go round I NEVER got past a couple of weeks (or was it days?) before I had a slip. I excused them. They were some sort of gift for trying. A pressure relief valve. It's not like I didn't try, it's just that slips happen. I'd forgive myself and keep at it.

THAT was the reason I couldn't quit.

You see, I'm now understanding that each day I'm further away from my last bet, the stronger I am. Or more accurately, the weaker the addiction is. You HAVE to get through the first 2 or 3 weeks of withdrawal to have any chance of success and every slip ensures that you never get there.

Thanks to a 'slip' you end up back at day one and the strength of the addiction is re-set to 'strongest'. We end up putting ourselves at the hardest part again and again and again. We're at our weakest and it's at it's strongest.

I've quit for a long stretch before, but never really, I just told myself that. I played lottery, or scratch tickets and said it wasn't part of the problem, so I was still fighting the good fight. I'd break for a session, call it a slip and still think I was in the middle of quitting. I wasn't, but I didn't see. I didn't want to see, because that first 2 or 3 weeks is brutal and I was finding my way alone.

Cold Turkey. It's honestly the ONLY way. I went overboard on not gambling. I refused to do anything remotely like gambling. I even cancelled my Pogo account because it kept popping the same neurons in my head that gambling did. Of course I felt silly being so anal, but you know what?

IT WORKED.

And now for the good news. I'm in my 7th week of seriously and completely not gambling and it is (sit down for this) effortless. Effortless. I can't believe I'm saying that and that it's true. That first stretch is a bitch. But if you find a way to get through it, rather than stay in it with slips and excuses, you get over the worst part and suddenly you're coasting.

You need to fight hard to get past it. Use whatever means and tools you can and sometimes simply endure it if you must, but (and this is an important 'but') you. will. get. past. it. After that you have to remind yourself that you're an addict and can never let your guard down (you'd be amazed how easy letting your guard down can be after the hump) because one bet and I'm back to the battle - and THAT scares me. It's easy now, but it was absolutely not easy then. So the fight plan changes but if you're willing to do what you must, to succeed, it DOES become easy and so very, very worth it.

My life is fantastic these days and I'm loving every minute of it. Don't get me wrong, I've had some stress (last week was brutal) but that stress was coming even if I'd been gambling, so I was far more prepared to handle it now, as an ex-gambler. In fact I remember thinking, 'Thank God I stopped when I did, this would have killed me.'

I know Cold Turkey is easy to tout from this side of that brutal mountain but it doesn't lessen the truth of it. It's hard, but it passes and then it's easy. Or it can be hard, then a slip, and then still hard. As gamblers, as addicts of any kind, those are the two facts of the battle that we can't change. I'm so grateful to be sitting here, typing this. I'm awestruck by the fact that I got here, and I sincerely wish this ease and peace to every person out there who's suffering and struggling. And for anyone who's beaten down and feeling hopeless, remember this: I am a gambling addict AND I found peace. We all can.

Today I will not gamble. Never again.