No milestone urge. In fact, no urges at all. Wow. I am so lucky and so grateful.

Here I am 5 days into my 13th month, (or better yet... 5 days into my SECOND YEAR!!!) and I can tell you that it gets easier and easier. I'm at the point where I can honestly say it's easy. No battles, no slips, no panic attacks, no fears, no bad anything - unless you count living life. There's always SOME bad in there, but there's also LOADS of good. LOADS.

I'm back to being me again. It's been a heck of a journey, but well worth it. I realize I'm not done and I will never be 'in the clear' but I'm at the next best thing and I'll take it. I wish I could tell you what the ONE thing that made the difference was, but I don't think there WAS one thing. It's everything. You have to be your own hall monitor when the urges come and the more tools you have at fighting it off, the better your chances.

I haven't had that addiction voice in my head for quite some time and if it wasn't for checking into this place from time to time, I think I could honestly forget I was ever a gambling addict. LIfe is that smooth and easy.

And THAT'S why I check into this place. I'm not a non-gambler. I'm a recovered gambling addict. That means I HAVE to be aware and remember. It's so important that I never forget that just one bet has the potential to ruin everything. And I am a man who can't afford to make that one bet. Ever.

Life is great and everything's wonderful... provided I don't ever bet again.

I take that seriously. I don't glamorize gambling. I don't ever say 'Oh, what's one little bet?' 'Where's the harm in one night at the casino with friends?' 'It's only a lottery ticket.' I don't dare. Because I WANT to stay clean. I WANT to be free. I WANT a life. God knows we all deserve it. So, I will continue this journey with gratitude and pride that I'm doing it.

It's great being here at this site and I STILL have lots to learn about this addiction and it's dangers, so I keep coming back. But now I'm here, not just to replenish my commitment, but also (hopefully) to serve as evidence that we can do this. We can succeed. We can overcome.

I don't use 'we' lightly. I'm you and you're me. Never forget that. YOU can do this too. And it can become 'easy' for you just as surely as it has for me. Good luck to you all, congrats to those celebrating some days under your belt and hoping the best for all those who are not quite here yet, but will be soon.

And WELL DONE to everyone who's saying today, what I'm proudly saying again...

Today I will not gamble. Never again.