Wow.

I did it! I'm past the first month.

Today is the start of my 2nd month and it feels fantastic!

I can't believe I'm typing this. There were so many times in the past that my saying 'one month' seemed like a bit of a fantasy. Yet here I am. So, I'm going to do the following:

WOOOOOT!!!

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

I got paid twice in that time and lived to tell the tale. It really does get easier. A lot easier.

For myself, I needed two things. Tools and goals. No, make that three things, because determination was definitely required. Somehow, this go round everything came together and worked for me and I am so grateful.

I've had up times and I've had down times (in fact yesterday was a down time, but I wasn't about to give up my 1 MONTH for something as stupid as an urge) but those three things got me through. I sometimes had to rely on one more than others. At different times, I needed different things to help me cope. What worked a day or an hour prior didn't always work the next time, so I'd switch to whatever it felt like I needed. Sometimes, it took all of them, sometimes not. But ALWAYS, something worked.

Each day I'm farther from my last bet (and I mean ANY gambling - not just my games of choice, but scratch tickets, lottery tickets, 'for fun, not money' sites, guessing on the weather - ANYTHING) the stronger I get. AND the easier it all becomes. I can't stress that enough. It's SO MUCH EASIER now, I wish I'd known.

Before now, I couldn't imagine how I could ever get past it. It owned me. It always would. I didn't articulate that idea in my head, I just 'knew' it.

Now I know something better - I was wrong. Go figure, a guy who made all kinds of mistakes in his life was wrong about something. Thank God I was wrong. And thank God I didn't give up hoping entirely. There's hope. There's success. There's peace. And they are ALWAYS out there, just waiting.

I'm not in the clear. Not by a long shot, but I AM on the right road and loving it.

I'm off to enjoy living again, but I just wanted to blog a 'Woooot!' as I begin my second month of saying AND living:

Today I will not gamble. Never again.