I was just thinking how funny it would be if you ever heard sentences in the Casino that backed up what we, as gamblers, constantly tell ourselves. Hope you don't mind a little levity as I use unreality to bring a little reality into our gambler's psyche.

THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN A CASINO

"I just won 5,000.00 so I'm off to put my financial affairs in order. Obviously I won't ever be back, so goodbye and good luck everyone."

"Congratulations! You're the 1,000th person to win big tonight. As a Casino, we understand there will be nights where the gamblers all win and we lose. Must be one of those 'lucky feelings' night. Us losing big sometimes is just a part of our doing business."

"This is your 8th straight week of gambling here. You must be some kind of VIP. Royalty, perhaps?"

"Excuse me sir, we've just received a telephone call. Apparently all your problems have gone away & they just wanted us to let you know."

"I was up & then I went home."

"Everybody's so social. I've never felt so popular! What's that? Party at your house after? I'm there!"

"That guy over there has lost every hand for the last 20 hands. He'd be a FOOL not to bet everything he has left on the next one."

"The secret to my owning several homes, cars and a lifestyle others can only dream of? Gambling, of course. Waiter! More Champagne! And bring some water for my dog, Paprika."

"At the ATM again? She must be on a roll."

"If you want to surround yourself with carefree, happy faces, THIS is the place to be!"

"Look at me, rubbing shoulders with the wealthy."

"Come on in. Everyone's a winner!"

"I'm losing all my money but of course all I can think of, is what an expert player YOU are. Yes indeed, you sure have my respect & admiration."

"Well, apart from losing $4,000.00, that was fun. Why don't I do this more often?"

"We've disconnected the bells & lights because we just have so many winners that it's distracting to our other customers who haven't won yet."

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but the Casino is closed. We just lost too much money to stay open."

"I'd say once or twice a year you'll see a problem gambler, but for the most part, our patrons are just REALLY good at it and do quite well. Most have retired on their winnings before they turned 30 & are just visiting because it's so fun watching the next batch of winners. But that's just the age old Casino story, isn't it?"

"Well THERE''S something you don't see every day. That guy just left broke."

"I'd rather be out doing other things, but it would just be irresponsible to turn down yet another night of making thousands upon thousands."


Good Lord, I think if I don't stop now I could go on forever. Although I was just being comical, but there's really nothing that voice in our head can't say that we won't believe if we want to, is there? Too bad the reality's not funny at all.

Well, here's one more statement we almost never hear in a Casino that I wish we would;

Today I will not gamble. Never again.

This made me LOL even while I am crying at my losses. I really need to stop this madness, but thanks for making me laugh!