I am sometimes amazed that I'm doing so well. I don't wait breathlessly for my next paycheque anymore. When it comes, I pay the next set of bills in my budget, and then get back to living. I don't have to go buy food, or pay off a payday loan, or do all the juggling I used to do as a matter of course. I haven't had a financial crisis for so long, I almost forget what it feels like. I can treat myself to all kinds of things now and it's nice.

I can honestly say that NOT gambling has made me richer. That seems logical, right? Well when I was in the throes of the addiction it didn't. I kept thinking a 'big win' was all I needed and everything would be A-Okay.

That may have been true, IF I'd ever kept the winnings and didn't gamble them all away again.

That was the one thing I could never do. And the one thing that I used from gambling to help me quit. I kept telling myself I needed a win, but I proved over and over again that I didn't need the money like I claimed, because I never took it. Once I saw that, the taste of gambling soured for me. I realized that every reason I used to gamble was false. It DIDN'T make me feel better. It DIDN'T get me out of a financial hole. It WASN'T something I could walk away from any time I wanted. It WASN'T a treat. It WASN'T fun.

It was the exact opposite of every single thing I claimed it was (all those stupid claims I made, just so I could keep that stinking addiction alive - God almighty). Once you get that truth solidly stuck in your head, avoiding the slips becomes easy. In a way, it's like dumping salt on your favorite food.

Something I've noticed while reading other people's posts, is that we all fight well for awhile and then slip. At least we do, until we buckle down and start fighting the slips. THAT'S when things go from bad to good in a hurry. I know it's a favorite food, but TRY to dump some salt on it - there's a feast out there, grab a plate & try something else. You deserve more, it's time you believed it.

Anyway, speaking of favorite foods, I'm making hamburgers tonight ( no salt ) & they're almost ready. I'm also looking forward to a lazy night of watching TV. These days I don't get many lazy nights, so I'm happy! As you probably noticed while reading, I don't have anything important to say, I just wanted to come on here and continue to be proof for anyone who needs it, that quitting without slipping is totally do-able. And totally worth it! I have not slipped (not even 'a little') in over 16 months - so I know for a fact that it can be done. My greatest hope is that you will come to know it, too. I'M going to sleep like a baby tonight, don't you deserve that too? You can make it happen, you know. We all can.

Wishing you well on your own journey to peace. ( Mine's on the couch tonight )

Today I will not gamble. Never again.