giving up caffeine is not fun.ive been exhausted all day and slept half the afternoon. i know ive got to stick at it i cant stand the mood drops after the high.its bad enough having bipolar without helping it every day. im glad i dont have to see the psychologist any more thats one less person to be nice to. im sort of tired of seeing the mental health people,i am glad they referred me to the gender clinic but other than that they havnt done much.dont think i actually wanted much doing other than the gender clinic referal. the doc has put me on laotrigene for the bipolar but the jury is out on that one. i hope it works. the temptation to just stop it all keeps coming back,mainly i think as an easy way out of doing things.i know im only remembering the good bits and not the rest of the bad bits along with the state i got in before. i really dont want to go back to that as im sure i would never crack out of it again,id be stuck like that.some days i wish id never come out of my lies,i felt comfortable,now i struggle with reality.im so suspicious of people i find it hard to trust anyone.one thing with bipolar is when you go hyper the world is good,now its just foggy.