realized over the past week i was going hyper.i think it was all my own fault i had a bit of a cold so had a coffee to cheer up and then another and before long id had quite a few.following day i had a headache from the coffee so had a couple paracetamol and codeine tablets.made me feel better so had more coffee. this went on for some days and steadily i crept hyper.the thing i fear with going like that is my libido can climb even though im on castration drugs the caffeine and codeine can apart from kick me hyper it raises the libido.i dont need that. i realized as well i was spending on ebay.part of it i guess is this rapid cycling they go on about mixed in with a caffeine high.i seem to have caught it and im coming back down but i worry that i have to constantly cope with this happening.if i dont catch it when it happens every thing ive achieved could be gone in a flash.
ive also got annoyed with the people who still are nosy as to my state and pretend to be a friend by emailing with some drivel and asking how i am,then when i reply and try to interact they dont reply.they are evil and i wish them no good.to fain interest just to be curious then ignore you is nasty.after a while i recognized the sort of email and now i just ignore them. one emailed to ask why i hadnt replied and made it sound like they were royalty and i had to reply.they are the sort that make it look like you are being nasty to them by not replying and you should bow down and beg forgiveness.i wouldnt piss on them if they were on fire. its horrible to think someone cares just to find out they are curious and dont really care. with me dealing with my transgender issues im getting more confident and i now just ignore them or ask them straight why only one email and to basically ###$ off.i dont trust anyone,anytime i have ive been made a mug of and now id rather be alone that have evil people using me. i hate the world and it hates me.