i cut back on my mood stabilizer and i think that was a bad idea. ive been so tired lately and i thought it was those but it wasnt,cutting back made no improvement to tiredness it has just made me go wierd again. last year i was on an antipsychotic as well but it gave me jitters so i came off it. thing was i had a period where i had excess tablets so i upped the dose myself and apart from being a bit slower i felt better,calmer.maybe it was just thinking had slowed down or they had more effect,all i know is they worked.i think the dose of mood stabilizers im on isnt working anymore things are going bad again. thing is the diagnosis i got doesnt really have meds as a treatment but wats in a name if they work. i want to go back on the antipsychotics at the higher dose along with my mood meds but i only see my gp and he isnt really the guy to say yes or no and i dont see mental health for it anymore.i look onit now as without meds it will all go bad big time but i dont know how to do that.im not bothered what they call the condition i just know without any meds i will loose it again.im already having really bad thoughts i dont know how long ill stay with it. ive already been found in another world by joe public,im loosing hours,days.when i reduced my mood med to near stopped i climed hyper within a couple of weeks i just managed to get a bigger dose down me eventually but ive had a few weeks going out of controll.i was trying to get off all meds so icould have my driving licience back and be normal. now i realize normal is bad. i dont care about driving id rather be slower and medicated than go through life as it was.im scarred i will just loose reality and ive no one to see that.its hard enough getting through a day as it is without having to wonder if ive lost hours again and whats happened then.i dont want to be like this anymore,suicide is looming again. i cant see an end to it.

Hugs!!