mind is over thinking everything. i know things are looking better for me but i have great fears of it all falling apart. the lamotrigene not controlling the bipolar,the funding for the gender clinic been turned down and the driving license being revoked. i pray that not all 3 happen as it would be the end for me.all my life i have thought things were going good just to find it collapse on me.i cant get those thoughts out of my head.i know i should be just thinking positive thoughts but i cant help but trying to work out what will happen if something doesnt work out. i dont have anyone to be there for me,the docs are great and mental health say if im bad to ring the help line but i miss just someone to talk to.my mind has a million thoughts,not all good and i sometimes drift away as though im not me thinking.i cant explain it really. i also have times when like a day dream i see senarious in the future which i forget about until they happen and then i think cant be but its happened time and time again. i still dont know who i am i just dont feel like im truely me.im scared of the gender thing but it has made me feel more closer to myself. hopefully if i get the ok to see the gender clinic i can talk about my feelings. its one thing i worry about because i cant go im stuck with no way forward.taken me a life time to try to sort it out and i now dont just have an off button.my biggest fear is i just revert to how i was to try to bury it but that will not be good.it wont end well for me and others