It's been a little bit since I've made a blog post. So I talked to a psychologist back in January (thought it was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was wrong) and she herself believes in sexual fluidity and she suggested acceptance as a way of being comfortable. It saddens me to think that that's what she believes, but to be honest, It just makes sense to me to. I try my best to blow it off and just ignore it but I can't do It for that long. It's always in the back of mind or it's there when I masturbate or look at both men and women. With that being said I think I know why I can't accept it.

Drastic change:. It wasn't something I expected, It just happened suddenly and has gotten more severe.

Family: I don't want to tell my family I've changed, I don't really care what they think but I've been straight all my life so telling them again is a change, so I guess this could be apart of the first point

Nostalgia: I remember my past and it hurts I don't want to let it go

It just seems unfair most people.dont have this change and I'm assuming if they do they don't find there previous desires less desirable. I wonder if it would be more bearable if I didn't even have a slight revulsion to women. Sometimes I'm comfortable with it, but than it scares me it means I could be happy like this, and I don't want to be happy in my current predicament. But this has been going on for a year and it will probably stay with me