When I read erotica it doesn't have the same effect on me like it used to have, THAT is the most depressing part about it it's the fact the I can't enjoy anything anymore because surprise surprise there where things that was sexual about an entertainment medium and there where things that motivated me out of a desire to have a woman, and even if I where to play a video game again or read that same series of erotica over and over again, it's going to have a different effect on me, for different reasons.


I wish I wasn't a sexual being I wish the whole idea of sex at all could just be wiped WHY OH WHY COULDNT I HAVE FOUND MEN ATTRACTIVE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I JUST WANT TO FORGET EVERYTHING AND SLEEP FOREVER LIFE ISN'T WORTH IT ANYMORE.