In a February entry, I talked about how I had been reconnecting with an ex-boyfriend. I expressed how I only wanted to be friends, but suspected he might’ve wanted to be more than friends again after he kept asking me to go out with him and even sent me flowers on Valentines Day as a friendly inside joke, supposedly. I made it clear to him that I’m interested in any romantic relationships right now and he seemed to respect that. We stopped talking again for a few weeks, but he recently reached out to me again and we’ve been spending more time together as friends.

While I’m still not interested in any relationships now, I quite enjoy his companionship. He’s as pleasant as he’s always been and I kind of wish we kept in touch after we separated. Even our breakup was done on good terms. We’ve been reminiscing about memories we share for the nearly four years we were together, which was fun. A recent conversation about piercings I had on this site made me remind him of the time he talked me into repiercing my navel but I foolishly ended up doing it myself. He was delighted to see I still have the piercing and wasn’t just wearing it for him. That actually got a laugh out of me and I rarely laugh out loud.

As happy as I am spending time with him, I’m also a bit worried about sending him mixed signals. There is really no romantic or sexual attraction towards him whatsoever. It was the main reason why our relationship ended: we just weren’t interested anymore. He doesn’t seem interested in getting back together with me in any romantic sense. He hasn’t given me any reason to suspect he might be since sending me the Valentines Day flowers, which, in retrospect, really did seem to be just a joke on his part. I like to think I know him well enough to know if he has any intentions and his demeanor while we’re together seems to be that of platonic companionship and nothing more.

Still, I don’t want to give any impressions that I might want to get back together nor do I want him ultimately wanting that himself. We’re obviously compatible as friends but even if we were both interested in renewing our relationship, that will only jeopardize the good thing we have going now. I’d hate to have to explain this to him by shooting him down and risk souring our friendship. Maybe I won’t have to and he won’t ever want to get back together. I probably shouldn’t even worry right now. Cross that bridge if and when we come to it, as they say. We’ll just see what happens. In the meantime, I’m actually happy with someone who I’m not even dating.

Well, as a guy with a platonic opposite-sex friend.. as long as we were both single, in the back of a fellow's mind there's always hope for romance and/or sex, even if you know better. Even now I get the stray thought of if something happened to our other halves, would we could we spark. Just a stray idle thought- hardly an obsession.

While he may understand and have settled for what he can get- which is what I did when she and I were both single- it's probably still in his mind that 'she might change her mind'. If he's smart enough, he'll know to leave it alone and enjoy what he has. Which was what I did. But then, I've never been very assertive with objects of interest, even if inside I was half-insane with infatuation.

I thought I had replied to this already.

I have no doubt in my mind that there's a desire for something more in the back of his mind. As good-natured as he always is, I can tell by the way he looks at me that there's still an attraction. You should've seen him when I showed him my piercing.

Also, he has basically told me the last time I talked with him on not wanting a relationship that he misses what we had, but he also said he knows and respects that it's over and is happy with just being friends. So far, he has been respecting that. I trust him enough to keep respecting those boundaries.