I've been speaking to a fellow molestation survivor who I've spoken to regularly before about our experiences on another website. We haven't spoken in a while, but I ended up chatting with her again recently. I mentioned how I've been struggling with feeling shame for having enjoyed being molested by my dad again and she told me something that really resonated with me: "You're living with shame that isn't your own." She went on to explain that it's my dad who should be feeling the shame I've been feeling for what he did to me, which I understand and have been told similar things plenty of times. But for some reason, those words are sticking to me. I'm making it my mantra whenever the feelings of guilt resurface and it seems to be working. Why that statement seems to work for me and not things other survivors have said, in addition to professional advice, I don't know. Sometimes I have difficulty understanding my own damn self. Whatever the reason, it's helping me with not feeling ashamed over my molestation. I don't know if I'll ever come to terms with that, but I feel like I'm already living with myself better now.