I don’t show much emotion at all. Never really have. I do feel plenty of emotions though. Whether it’s anger or sadness, humor or excitement… I feel all of these things, but I don’t always show it. I don’t feel like I try to avoid expressing how I feel or anything. I can’t explain it, I just don’t. I’m just a very deadpan individual. I think I mentioned before that one of my friends jokingly referred to me as a Vulcan from Star Trek because I’m always logical and never show any emotion. I feel I’m not always fun to be around because of that.

I’ll be watching a funny movie or show with someone and even if I may find it funny, it rarely gets much out of me other than a smirk or a chuckle. More recently, I’ve been watching some thriller/drama show with boyfriendish which I quite enjoy, but he wonders if I ever enjoy it since, in his words, I just sit there and watch without reacting to anything. I wish I wasn’t like that. It makes me feel like I’m not much fun to be around. I feel like I’m abnormal and lack basic human behavior.

I know it can’t be helped, short of me forcing it - faking more lively reactions. But I’ll be damned before I do that.

Hi Chelsea: I get it. Separation from emotions is a way of protecting the self. It’s like elevating one self above those troublesome emotions. Thank God we were created so we could protect ourselves like this. I do this. Bless you for sharing your experience so others can know they can survive.

I wonder if it is two-fold survival on your part, Chels: when young and you actively enjoyed it, you of course had to hide that from Mom. Then later, you had to hide your disgust from Dad. And hide what was going on from everyone in general.

Aggie78 wrote:Hi Chelsea: I get it. Separation from emotions is a way of protecting the self. It’s like elevating one self above those troublesome emotions. Thank God we were created so we could protect ourselves like this. I do this. Bless you for sharing your experience so others can know they can survive.

Thank you, Aggie78. Perhaps this is all that it is even if I may not be aware of it. I appreciate your input. It’s nice to know someone else feels the same way I do and can provide a different perspective on it. I’m glad you see how you feel with this in a more positive light. I wish I could see it the same way, but it’s always comforting knowing someone else can relate nonetheless. Thank you again.

Snaga wrote:I wonder if it is two-fold survival on your part, Chels: when young and you actively enjoyed it, you of course had to hide that from Mom. Then later, you had to hide your disgust from Dad. And hide what was going on from everyone in general.

Once again, you really make me think with your words. Think that you most likely are correct and that’s exactly what it is. It only makes sense from a logical standpoint. Perhaps you and Aggie78 are both right and how I am is a combination of the two. This just goes to show why I value the perspectives of others so much. As intelligent and logical as I like to think I am, I’m still a human being with her own issues that are particularly harrowing and as such, I still have plenty to learn I can only learn from others who can relate.

Thank you both very much. You both humble me in the best way.

Oh I'm the last person you should be humbled by!

I disagree. You’ve been far too helpful for me not to be.