I’ve just been reflecting on myself and realized that I’ve never been a particularly happy person. I’m not necessarily unhappy, but I’m never any life of the party either. When I was younger, I would be but since entering my adult years, I’ve been pretty emotionless most of the time. Sometimes I wonder how I even have any friends because I always appear to be so stern and devoid of a sense of humor. What about my personality appeals to people? I’m really not that serious though and I always try to be friendly and open-minded. But again, you’re never going to see me being all that upbeat or comical. I can’t help but wonder if it’s an after effect of my trauma. Like I said, I was a bit more pleasant when I was a kid. I can’t help but think all that I’ve been through has changed me. Particularly when I was 15 and felt dead inside for when my trauma became an everyday occurrence. That was certainly the darkest time for me. Maybe a part of me still feels dead on the inside for all that was taken from me. Or maybe I’m just looking too much into that. After all, I’ve meet those who have endured lifelong hardships and are some of the cheeriest people you’ll ever meet. This could just be how I am. Not everything has to be a result of what happened to me, right?

"Not everything has to be a result of what happened to me, right?"

Right. And the frustrating bit is not knowing which it really is...