I forgot to post about my therapy session the day it happened again. And from now on, I’ll just be using this new title format, if you will, when making entries about my therapy sessions.

As expected, my therapist and I discussed a lot about when I was 15 and everything my dad did to me while he was molesting me. Also as expected, it was hard to say aloud. I regret to say more time was spent with me having trouble getting it out than I cared for. I even nearly choked up at one point when recounting how dead inside I felt while it was happening. But I suppose that’s how this works. We also talked about how when he’d do it a few more times when I was 17 and how awkward and unconfident he became when he did it. I’ll probably make an entry on that time soon. Overall, I feel everything is still going well with therapy so far. It’s no fun to talk about and I dread going to these appointments, but I leave feeling satisfied that I’m finally voice all this pent up trauma to somebody else without fear of being judged or them having an emotional response. Next appointment is on Thursday, as planned. She (my therapist) didn’t say what she wanted to talk about next time, but there’s still a lot more to discuss, of course. We’ll just see where she steers it.

"how awkward and unconfident he became when he did it."

Hadn't thought of that but yeah reckon that's expected- you're almost an adult and much less controllable. I wonder if that's not part of the psychology behind his abuse- the need for a completely compliant partner?

I’ll be posting a more detailed entry on how exactly that went soon.