Maybe if I just resign to the fact that perhaps I should not sign the contract again in June, I will have some peace.
The good news is that I have been faithful for 4 years and that I don't really find any of the people at work attractive or worthwhile enough to pursue. I know my limits and bounds now. Even the "just add water" person is only "just add water" and is hypothetical. So, that is something that is not in the cards.
There are people in the hall right now.
I'm pretty much just hated now. There isn't much more that I can do.
If I DID TAKE THAT RHISP. EVERY DAY.......How would I take it? I might just have to start taking it.
It's just come down to that.
I can't really die because of my son and I fear death as you know. But I know that apart from these things, my death would be a good thing.
I will investigate the rhisp. further to find out what the pharmacy gave us this time and see about taking it daily. I believe that it has come to this.
I am very fortunate to have a few people--about 5 whom I call "guardians" who know that I am very very sick and accept me and they speak. I am fortunate and grateful for these people.