There was a lady at a church I attend who was really nice to me. She gave me all of this jewelery and clothing. She talks about her mother who was a manic depressive. I think that I remind her of her mother. The lady is a liberal Christian and is very supportive of LGBT but is otherwise conservative. She is the one who taught me how to match my clothes.
There are always ladies who want to take me under their wing. Some ladies are highly conservative and they tend to criticize the lack of Executive Function and the fact that I am not June Cleaver. All that I can do is clean.
The lady who is my current mentor, the lady from church always suggests various dishes to me.
I wind up floating from church to church, gleaning friends and temprarily getting Biblical knowledge but not getting the entire support that I need.
Daily, my "prasadam" or spiritual food is taken care of by various ways:
up to 35 % is taken care of by the Gita
up to 10% is taken care of by the Gayatri Mantra and Christian prayer
5% is helped by a Mindfulness Walk
15% is taken care of by the herbal and medication regimen
The psychosis stays, like the storms of Jupiter or by a round swirl around a rock in a stream. Persecution Complex.
Sometimes, I get my energy back when I spend coffee with my only healthy friend LDR or when I help my Histrionic friend GA or if I have a good Christian book or a pleasant evening at home. Last night was dark, though, even though things were peaceful.
I stayed up until 11 pm on the internet looking at Crabs in the Barrel, about Bullying and about Attrition.
THEY WANT ME OUT.
But either there was a large block of gossip or there was the incident on Monday. Now, the janitors are treating me strangely and people are avoiding me. I am getting more work and when I do, I have to rely more on janitors and more on mail and they don't want to deal with me.
I know that autonomy would help, and assertive behaviors and dressing well. BUT the minute that I slip up, the vultures will be around to nibble on my remains.
So, this is my life. I am not southern. I am not pretty. I am not a domestic.
One of the greatest blasphemies is the taking of one's freedom of thought, dictating matters of the heart