I remember being young and I remember that insecurity that you get when you are twenty something and have the bpd or what is labeled that. You know, I get conflicted. On Icarus Project, many cissex identifying females feel that bpd is only a label and that women are oppressed.

I don't know. I want to believe that bpd is just a label, but I just don't know. There seems to be something terribly wrong that goes beyond the GAD, the bipolar, the depression and the PMDD. When I have the PMDD, it is difficult to function.

But back to the 20 somethings and that decade.

We feel so alone and lost; the world is scary and every day can be tortured. When we find a male we get very intense and another part of us gets romantic and wants that love. It isn't that we mean to be vampiric, but we get so scared that we go head in. As we go head in, it looks to the outside like we are trying to suck the life out of the man, but that isn't what we mean. We just don't know what to do and we take that energy but we do want to get something back.

I remember when AJ Mahari said use support, empathy and truth to assist with conflicts. I believe that a male should be patient and if the male cannot be in direct relationship with the female, then they should try and be a strong friend. If I had to do it all over, I would have a strong mood stabilizer that would assist with my moods and I would have been involved more with politically motivated causes for the environment or for animals or minorities--been involved in something greater than myself. OF course, back then the mood stabilizers were horrific--stuff like lithium and depakote.

But anyway, I have aged out. I also have conflicting thoughts about my own husband. But, I see that getting your enviornment straight--your direct envionrment, helps get rid of some of the bad elements of the spouse and the quiet and having some space--and me time, is a strong weapon against borderline personality.

It is one of those mornings. I keep vacillating between okay and depressed, and the moods are super rapid. I'm frying my ears with the Gita.