Cate68's Blog

by **Cate68** on Thu Nov 14, 2013 4:58 pm

b-5 should be B-5

by **Cate68** on Thu Nov 14, 2013 4:57 pm

How does one face death?
How does one accept death?

I need to accept death.

I went and cried again and it helped. Nobody was in the bathroom this time so I was able to cry properly and actually wash my face. Crying helps a whole lot.

I get a "break" at lunch. I might walk out in the sunshine to help myself feel better.

I will tell you that if I do die, or have alz or dementia, I will write the most powerful fan letter ever to PW and not only to him but also to the b-5/Crusade cast.

But not until the entire thing happens.

I spelled "picture" wrong if you saw that.

I just have to hold on until 12:00 when I can get out of my ######6 JAIL CELL.

by **Cate68** on Thu Nov 14, 2013 4:50 pm

I found a stray fruit cup and ate it. I had a muffin and coffee earlier.

I feel so down. I feel so depressed.

I wonder if I should just be put down. I have yet to face death properly..

If death of the mind comes then so should death of the body. I'm not ready to die though.

I want to die right after I forget how to use the restroom. I want to die my injection. I've decided.

I feel so sick today. I want to die. I'm having a breakdown. Nobody cares.

My old boss from 1,000 years ago called.

I want to die.

by **Cate68** on Thu Nov 14, 2013 4:07 pm

I feel disassociated and dizzy. I have no place where I can go without being watched. I go to the bathroom and there are other ladies in there all of the time. I can still type, so I guess that is good. It is like my brain is trying but it is like it cannot always compute things. A feeling of disassociation always goes with this.

I feel tired and I want to leave. I want to be at home by myself. I hate working now. I hate going in, I hate constantly being told things must change. I hate the #######4 coming down the pike. I hate my managers conviently ignoring me. I hate the new fresh face perfect plastic person they just hired who makes me feel old and decrepid and useless.

I'm tired. I'm sick. My husband is about to walk out from his job as well.

The receptionist, Gladys, Liz and Allen all just deny that I have a problem. MAY INSTEAD OF NOVEMBER--THAT'S A PROBLEM.

by **Cate68** on Thu Nov 14, 2013 3:54 pm

I want to go crawl in a hole and die. I NEED TO HEAR THE WORDS-YOU ARE NOT DEMENTED. YOU DON'T HAVE ALZHEIMER'S. I NEED TO HEAR THOSE WORDS.

I have to go to the bathroom again.

Mistake

How does one face death?

So anyway.........

Another miserable ###$ up morning

I want to go crawl in a hole and die

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